Fate
by Aggies16
Summary: AU. Sam is 29, a single dad to a two year old boy. Andy is 19, in college and needs a job. She moves in with Sam and becomes his son's nanny. Things start to heat up as time goes on.
1. The One With the First Look

_A/N: I know I should be working on my other story but this idea would not get out of my head. It's AU. Sam is 29 and Andy is 19. She is in college and at the moment has no thoughts of becoming a cop. Please give this a chance, it has a slow start but heats up soon! _

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rookie Blue!**

The first time I laid eyes on Sam Swarek I was sitting outside my dad's office waiting for him to get off work. Ever since I went off to college I didn't really have a lot of time to spend with dad. Between trying to find a job and school work there wasn't a lot of free time. I saw Sam walking out of the locker room, he was on the phone probably talking to some girl. But I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I noticed the way he walked, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I could see the worry lines on his forehead as he got closer. But even with all of that there was something about him that wouldn't let me tear my eyes away. As he passed me I suddenly found my shoes very interesting. I couldn't dare make eye contact with someone like him, it would probably just lead to really embarrassing blushing.

My dad was taking such a long time, he knew we had dinner plans but he said he couldn't leave until he tied up the loose ends on the case he was working on. To say that I was used to waiting for my dad would be an understatement, that is all I had been doing since my mom left 5 years ago. Ever since then he became much more interested in his cases and much less interested in me. Sargent Boyko must have seen me sulking outside my dad's office once again because the next thing I knew he was sitting next to me.

"Hey sweetheart, waiting on your dad?" Boyko had become like a second dad to me, I spent a lot of hours after school at the station and he was always there when I needed to be cheered up.

"Yeah, we were supposed to go to dinner an hour ago." I hated admitting my family problems but with Boyko it just seemed natural.

"I'm sorry honey, I'm sure he will be done soon. How's school going?"

"It's good, really different then what I'm used to. I'm trying to find a job, I feel bad making dad pay for everything. Between living on campus, books and classes it adds up. I just don't want to put any extra stress on him."

"Have you found anything promising yet?"

"No, I think I started looking to late. No one is hiring, apparently everyone's staff is 'full'." It was true I had been looking, desperately for anything. But every time I thought I found something it ended up not working out.

"I might have something for you, it's going to be a lot different than what your looking for probably. But it would be a job and free room and board, what do you say?"

I was so confused, what kind of job could he be talking about? Free room and board? That sounded amazing..but what exactly would it entail? "What do you mean? What would I be doing? I'm pretty much open to anything at the moment."

"One of our officers, Sam Swarek, he has had a hard year. He has a two year old boy, well I guess he's almost two. Anyway the boy's mom walked out about six months ago, just left in the middle of the night. Sam has been trying his best but he just doesn't have enough time in the day. I guess what I'm asking is would you be willing to be like a nanny for his son? I know he has a studio apartment above his garage that he would probably let you live in. He's a good guy, just hit a rough patch."

I was stunned, Sam Swarek needed help? He didn't seem like the kind of guy that couldn't handle things. "What do you mean by probably? Does he know that you are asking me this?"

"I have mentioned him getting a nanny. He just has too much on his plate and it was beginning to take a tole on him. I told him I would keep my eyes open because he didn't know anyone who would be willing to do it. I guess you could say that seeing you here today was fate. You are perfect for this Andy, I don't think there is anyone better for this job."

"Okay I mean if you really think so, I've never really taken care of a kid before. But I do need the money so..uh..yeah, I'll take it." Did I really just agree to do this? I just agreed to live with Sam Swarek..under the same roof..and help him take care of his kid!

"I believe in you Andy, the taking care part will come naturally. You'll be great. I'm just gonna go call Sam and let him know that I found someone, then I'll try you over there and you can meet them."

"Wait right now? Like I'm going to start immediately?"

"Well yeah, I kinda thought so, you need the money don't you? And the sooner I get you in there they sooner I can stop worrying about him. You in?"

This was all so overwhelming, the only reason I was here was to wait for my dad and now I have a job and Boyko wants me to start tonight! So much for the dinner with dad, oh well its not like he is really hurrying things along for me. "Uh..yeah I'm in. Just let me go tell my dad that I can't do dinner tonight."

"Okay sounds great, just meet me in my office when your done. And Andy, thanks for this."

"Yeah no problem, I'll meet you in a few." I couldn't believe this was happening. I already had butterflies in my stomach, how could I have agreed to this! "Hey dad, something came up and I'm going to have to take a rain check on dinner."

"Okay sweetheart, I'll see you later." He didn't even look at me as he said it, just kept staring at that stupid case file. Maybe this job was a good idea, I wouldn't have to rely on dad for anything. I made my way to Boyko's office, he had just hung up the phone when I knocked. He waved me in.

"So are you all ready to go? Sam said that Nathan is already asleep but that you could go ahead and come and get settled. I figured we could run by your place pack up a few things and then head on over. That sound good to you?"

"Yeah sure that sounds great. He's okay with it being me right?"

"Yeah, I think he is just relieved to have some help, doing everything on your own can be tough, you would know that."

I couldn't help but laugh, I knew exactly what that felt like. "You could say that, so should we get going?"

"Yep, all set. Let's go and get your stuff."

A lot had changed in my life in the matter of an hour. I was so nervous, the man I couldn't keep my eyes off of was basically my new boss. This should get interesting.

_A/N: Let me know what you think, should I continue?_


	2. The One With the First Meet

_A/N: I am overwhelmed about the feedback I received from the first chapter. I honestly didn't think I was going to get very many. These chapters may be short, but I plan on updating daily. And the next chapter is already written and double the length! As always please review, they make me write ALOT faster!_

Boyko and I were just now leaving my dorm. It had taken longer to get everything sorted out than I originally thought. It probably helped having a Staff Sargent there with me. He was able to get me out of my dorm and cancelled my payments. I was definitely grateful. But now I was extremely nervous, we were on our way to Sam's house, my new house. Where I would be living with him and his son. It was definitely going to take a few days to get my head around that one! Part of me thought Boyko was loosing his mind, he thought that I was going to be able to take care of a toddler. All by myself! I didn't even know where to start, but if he had faith in me then I guess that was enough for now.

The next thing I noticed we were parked and Boyko was opening my door. I'm thinking that he had probably been standing there for a while because the look he was giving me was one of confusion. "You can do this Andy, Nathan is a sweetheart, and Sam well Sam will warm up to you eventually." Eventually? What did he mean by eventually! Why did I ever agree to do this! I was beginning to be in full on freak out mode. I wasn't ready for this, I was only 19, I wasn't ready for someone to rely on me completely. All of a sudden I was standing in front of a door with Boyko standing right next to me holding my bag.

I watched the door handle, as it turned my stomach did a flip-flop. Boyko put a reassuring hand on my back and ushered me inside. I looked at Sam, he looked completely worn out. I hadn't noticed when I saw him earlier. He had bags under his eyes, he looked as if he hadn't slept for months. And just like that I knew, I knew that I would help in anyway I could. I would do anything to get those eyes to look the way they used to. He was too young to look this completely broken.

"Uh hi, I'm Andy." I didn't really know what to do from this point. We were all just standing in his entry way, awkwardly looking at each other.

"Yeah, hey. I'm Sam. Thanks for doing this and coming so soon."

"No problem, I had no where else to be." I couldn't help but smile at him, something about him was intoxicating.

"Okay well Sam, Andy, I guess I'm going to get going. Sam, you be good to her."

I was definitely blushing, and Sam had to have noticed because he gave me a little smirk. But when he did I noticed something, those dimples. Those could probably make me do anything.

"Yes sir, I will. Thanks for this, I'll see you tomorrow in parade."

And with that Boyko left, it was after 10 o'clock at night. I had no clue what I was supposed to do. We both just looked so uncomfortable standing there. I could tell that he had a hard time asking for help but that he definitely needed it.

"So this is your house.." So screw me I'm allergic to silence okay? And I couldn't rely on him to start a conversation here so I was our only hope of making this a little less awkward.

He gave me that smirk again, I had only seen that two times and all I wanted to do was make him laugh and smile more and more. "Yeah this is it, I know its not much.."

"No it's perfect, trust me."

"Okay so I guess I should show you your room then?"

"Yeah that'd be great, thanks."

"Good, so just follow me." He took me through the living room and out the back door. The door to my room was past the covered patio. There were stairs leading up to my room, when we finally got there and he opened the door, I noticed how simply beautiful it was. It was so simple but at the same time it was exactly where I wanted to be.

"Sam, this is beautiful! I was not expecting this at all."

"Thanks, my sister is an interior designer up in St. Catherines, so after everything happened she made it her mission to basically redo my entire house. I guess she wanted to make it more like me and less like well _her_."

I could tell that was definitely a touchy subject. One that he wasn't going to just open up to me about tonight, after all I had known him for all of 20 minutes.

"Well it's perfect, really. Thanks for letting me stay here."

"Yeah no problem, I figured it would be easier because of Nathan. How about you get settled here and then come back inside and we can talk about what exactly you will be doing."

"Okay, that works. I'll just put a few things away and then meet you inside."

"Uh yeah okay, and Andy...thanks..really it means a lot."

I had know idea what to say to that so I just nodded and smiled. I hoped that I would be able to do anything and everything for him. I didn't like seeing him this way, I wondered what he was like before. Before all of the worry lines and the bags under his eyes. Maybe I would be able to take some of the weight off of his shoulders.

I unpacked a few things and changed into shorts and a t shirt, still appropriate but definitely more comfy then the outfit I had on to go to dinner with my dad. Once I made my way inside I looked around trying to find him. I walked through the living room, he wasn't there, checked the kitchen, he wasn't there either. I thought maybe he was in the bathroom or something so I decided to sit on the couch and wait. I had been sitting there for at least 15 minutes, I was about to just go back to my room and figured I could talk to him in the morning. But that's when I heard it, it came from upstairs. The sound broke my heart, the only thing that could make that noise was a baby, his baby.

I didn't really know what to do at first but when the sound did not sound like it was stopping anytime soon I slowly made my way upstairs. I followed the sound and when I turned the corner the sight in front of me took my breath away. Sam was trying to console Nathan back to sleep. Nathan had his little fist wrapped up in Sam's shirt. But that is not what took my breath away, what took it away was the way that Sam was looking at Nathan.

He looked at his son with all the compassion in the world. Like nothing he could do could ever make him turn his back on him. I could tell that he loved Nathan more than anything in the world. I decided that it was best to make my presence known so I slowly walked into the Nathan's room. Sam's eyes immediately looked up, copper instincts, they made eye contact and I understood exactly what he was telling me. I knew that I had to do everything to protect his son, he was all that he had left. He held up a finger telling me to give him a minute. I pointed downstairs to let him know that I would be waiting there for him. He slowly got up and laid Nathan back down in his crib. I could hear him coming down the stairs. When he came into the living room he had a beer in his hands and dropped heavily on the couch next to me.

He turned his head and looked straight at me. It was like he was looking through me. The way he was looking at me, well I had never been looked at in that way before. It was like he actually saw me. But it was getting a little too intense for me, especially for my first night here, so in true McNally form I started talking.

"He's adorable Sam. I didn't expect to find him...well I don't know..I guess I just didn't expect a lot of things."

"Thanks Andy, hearing you say that means a lot, sorry about before he still has some nightmares. So I guess we should start talking about your job?"

"Yeah this just all happened so fast. I don't really know any of the specifics."

"Well Boyko promised to keep me on day shifts, so that means I will be working 8-4. Nathan doesn't go to daycare or anything like that, so I really just need you to watch him during those hours. Boyko told me that you take a lot of online and night classes right?"

"Yeah, I don't having any classes during that time."

"Okay great, you can have all your nights off and I'm usually off one to two days a week but it varies. I'll be here when Nathan wakes up but after I leave I just need you to feed him breakfast and basically just play with him. He's a pretty easy kid. He usually takes his nap around 2 so you can use that time to study if you need to. Just make sure he has lunch before you put him down for his nap or he won't sleep as long. Sorry if it seems like a lot, it will get easier once you get the hang of things around here."

"No, it sounds great Sam. This is exactly what I needed."

"Okay well good. You can stay in the studio and I'll buy anything you need but that's probably all I can do, is that okay?"

"Yeah that is more than enough, trust me. Room and board on campus was extremely expensive. So just being able to stay here will make a huge difference."

"I should probably try and get some sleep before Nathan wakes up again. Do you need anything?"

"No I have everything. So I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah see you then."

And with that I went back to my new studio apartment. I wanted to get unpacked and get everything where it needed to be but I was so tired and it sounded like I would be getting up pretty early from now on. I set the alarm for 6 just so I would be able to get up and get ready before he needed me. Once I had everything ready for the next day it was after midnight, I crawled into bed and tried to sleep for the little amount that I was actually going to get.


	3. The One With the First Day

_A/N: Here's the next chapter..as always please review (: _

My alarm went off way to early the next morning. I wanted to hit the snooze desperately but figured that would not be a good thing to do on the first day. When I got done screaming into my pillow and basically cracking every bone in my body with my morning stretch, I was ready to start the day. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I decided against make up, realizing that I did not need to impress a 2 year old boy with my looks. I made my way into the house around 7 and once again walked in not finding anyone. I decided to pour me some coffee, thanking the lord that Sam was also a coffee drinker. I could smell it as soon as I walked into the house. Once I got my coffee and turned around there they were standing in the doorway. Nathan's head was laying on Sam's shoulder and his hand was once again wrapped in his shirt. I figured it was a comfort thing, that way Nathan knew his dad was there.

Sam already looked like he was ready for the day, he still had the bags under his eyes but he look much more relaxed than he did the night before. I gave him a soft smile and he returned it.

Sam gently rubbed Nathan's back, trying to get his son to stay awake. "Hey buddy, do you wanna meet a friend of mine? Her name is Andy and she is going to be taking care of you while daddy goes to work."

I noticed Nathan's hand clutch Sam's shirt tighter and he nuzzled more into his shoulder. He was obviously not a morning person, they definitely had that in common!

"Nate come on, daddy has to leave for work soon and I want you to meet Andy before I go."

Nathan slowly raised his head and turned towards me. He stared wiggling in his dad's arms to obviously tell him to let him down. When he did Nathan walked over to me.

"Andyyyy up up puh-wease!" He had his little arms raised begging to be picked up. He was the most adorable baby that I had ever seen. I reached down and scooped him into my arms. He resumed the same position that Sam had been holding him earlier. I think he was probably back asleep in the matter of 2 minutes.

Sam just chuckled at what he saw before him. "Sorry, he is not a morning person at all, and he is used to my friends coming by to help me out. I guess he just trusts people automatically. Probably not a very good trait to have as a kid."

"He's fine, he's perfect actually." I rubbed a soothing hand on the sleeping baby in my arms and I was in love. I had never had this feeling with someone needing me. Boyko was right, it did come naturally.

I thought about my life and what it has been like up until this point. And I realized that there was no where else in the world that I would rather be. Sam smiled at me holding his son, a full on dimpled smile.

"Well I should probably get going, help yourself to anything. I'll be home right after shift. I left my number on the fridge and you can just call the station if you can't get ahold of me." He walked up to give Nathan a kiss on his cheek, but he didn't even stir.

"Okay, I got it Sam. Trust me, I'll call if I need anything."

"Okay I'll uh see you later."

"Bye."

As I heard the door shut, that's when I realized this little boy was going to be relying on me for the next 8 hours. He wasn't even beginning to stir so I grabbed my coffee and went and sat on the couch with him curled up against me. I turned on the TV and turned the volume down. I was content just sitting him with him. I could definitely get used to starting my days like this.

I was watching Ross and Rachel discuss whether or not they were on a break for like the hundredth time when he finally began to stir. He released the grip he had on my shirt and sat up and looked me directly in the eyes.

He stuck his hand out like he wanted to shake mine and said, "Hi Andyyy, I'm Nathan Thomas Swarek."

"Well hi there Nathan Thomas Swarek, I'm Andrea McNally."

"Nally, yep I'm gonna call you Nallyyyy!"

I couldn't help but laugh, he was absolutely adorable. He could call her whatever he wanted to. "That works for me Nathan. So did you want to do anything today?"

"Park puh-weaseee!"

"Okay park it is but lets get you some breakfast first." I sat him on the ground and he ran into the kitchen yelling "FOOD". I followed quickly behind and cut up some fruit that was in there refrigerator for him to eat.

He stuffed it down and before she knew it he was done. "Up Nally up."

"You wanna go get ready for the park?"

"Yes puh-wease!"

I took him up to his room and found him a pair of shorts to wear. I let him pick out the shirt once I had a couple pulled out. He picked the batman one, good choice dude, definitely a good choice. I was going to get along with Nathan just fine.

Once he was all ready to go she loaded him into the car, thankfully Sam told her where the extra car seat was before he left. The park was about five miles away and walking there with a 2 year old would not have been fun.

They arrived to the park and when I put him down he started barreling towards the swings. "Nally swing!"

"Okay buddy I'm coming."

I put him in the child seat and started to push him slowly on the swing. He would let out a little squeal every time he went forward. All I kept thinking throughout this entire day was that I could get used to everything that my new life entailed. Being apart of this family was sounding better and better with each passing moment.

We stayed at the part till about 12:30, he played on the swing and absolutely loved the different slides. I basically had to drag him out of there but I knew that he had to be getting hungry so when I promised him food he was more than happy to oblige. Since it was my first day I thought I would treat him to lunch out. I didn't feel comfortable enough to take him in somewhere yet so I just went through the drive thru. When we got back home and I placed him in his high chair it was a little past 1:00.

I fed him his chicken nuggets and fruit, by the time he was finished he could barely keep his baby blue eyes open. I took him up to his room and rocked him until he fell asleep. It didn't take long, it was a little before 2 and Sam said that he usually slept for a couple of hours.

I was exhausted from my early morning, and not getting much sleep the night before so I decided to close my eyes while holding him. The rocking chair was surprisingly very comfortable.

That is where Sam found them a couple of hours later. He got home at about 4:30, Nathan usually didn't sleep this late so she was hoping that everything went okay. The sight of Andy holding his son, and the fact that Nathan completely trusted her already made his heart ache a little bit. He hadn't smiled a genuine smile in at least a year, and the sight before him made him break out in a huge smile.

He went and grabbed Nathan out of Andy's embrace, he didn't want him sleeping too much longer or tonight would not end well. I immediately noticed when the warm body that had been laying on me was no longer there. My eyes immediately opened and focused straight on Sam.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep for that long."

"It's fine Andy, don't worry about it." Sam was trying to slowly wake Nathan up, I guess Nathan wasn't only not a morning person but basically just didn't like waking up in general. That's when I heard it, a little murmur that tore my heart up.

"Nally, I want Nally." Sam looked confused, he couldn't figure out what Nathan was saying.

"Um...he told me that he wanted to call me Nally you know cause of my last name. I don't really know why but I didn't have the heart to tell him different."

"Oh right, of course. He's cute that way, master manipulator with those eyes huh?"

"Yes definitely, basically everything about him makes me never want to say no."

"Trust me, I understand. It took me a while before I could even tell him no. Even now I still have problems with it." Nathan was beginning to stir in his father arms, Sam reluctantly put him down. This was new for him, yes Nathan was trusting. But usually when Sam was there that is who he wanted. Nathan stumbled across his room till he reached me. He did the same thing he did this morning, stretched his arms up as high as he could and said, "Nally up up, Nally up up."

I was never going to be able to deny this little boy anything. He had my heart in the matter of a day. I would jump in front of a bullet for him if I had to. Nothing was going to happen to him while he was under my care. I scooped him up and looked at Sam. He was giving me this longing look that I could not decipher. I was hoping that he wasn't mad for Nathan wanting me. But then he smiled, and I knew, I knew that he was feeling the same thing I was. We fit, as strange as it sounds we did. He ushered me out of the room and downstairs. Once we got down there he asked me how the day had gone.

"It was good, great actually. We went to the park for a couple of hours, came back here for lunch and he was out like a light not long after that. I guess I was just as tired as he was." I smiled shyly, I really didn't mean to fall asleep this afternoon, but having Nathan snuggled up against me, I just couldn't bear put him down.

"Sounds like you had a long day. Thanks for everything, you have no idea how much this helps. This is the first day where I haven't been a nervous wreck while on the job and that's thanks to you. I knew Nathan was in good hands. Well your off for the day; feel free to do whatever you need to do."

What I needed to do was go prepare for my test that I had tonight on my online class, but what I wanted to do was sit and talk to Sam and hold Nathan. I figured a time would come for that. "Great thanks, I actually have a test tonight so I should probably go and study a little." I handed him Nathan and retreated back to my room. I couldn't even concentrate on my school work. I didn't want to be studying right now, but I knew I had to. I couldn't let my grades slip now, I had worked to hard for too long just to be here.

I had been studying for the last three hours, the material was harder than I remembered, it was now after 8 o'clock and I realized that I had not eaten since lunch. I had to start my test at 9 and figured that I should probably eat something so I would at least be able to function during my test. Just as I was getting up from my desk I heard a knock at my door. When I opened it I saw Sam standing there with a plate of food.

"Hey, I noticed that you hadn't left tonight and I figured you had to be starving. Its just spaghetti but I thought you needed to eat something."

"It's perfect! I was just going to come in and see if I could find something. I just finished studying and noticed the time. It went by much faster than I anticipated. I appreciate this so much Sam, thank you."

"It's the least I can do, you are helping me raise my kid after all."

I smiled at that, the fact that he acknowledged what I was doing that way made my heart flutter. "I don't mind at all, he is probably the cutest boy I have ever seen."

"Wait till he pulls out the dimples, he definitely already knows how to work them."

"Guess he learned from his daddy." Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud? That is so inappropriate! My face was beat red, it had to be. That was definitely just meant to be a thought.

Sam laughed, god I loved his laugh. It was contagious. "Oh he did huh?"

Oh my gosh! Was it possible to blush even more than I already was? Apparently because Sam just started laughing again, that deep hearty laugh. "Uh look thanks for dinner, I should probably eat, I have to take my test in like 30 minutes."

"Kay, night **Mc**Nally."

Did he just call me McNally? Guess his son's name for me was going to stick. "Night Sam, see you in the morning."

And with that he was gone and I was left alone once again. My heart finally returned to normal from the embarrassment and I ate my spaghetti and garlic toast. When 9 o'clock came around the only thing on my mind was those dimples, and no NOT Nathan's...Sam's. Oh I was in trouble, deep trouble.


	4. The One With the First Nightmare

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rookie Blue! **

It had been two weeks since I had moved into the Swarek household. We were beginning to fall into a very comfortable rhythm. I would wake up every morning at 6, go have coffee with Sam while he got ready for his day and wait for Nathan to wake up. At the beginning of the second week Sam let me go and wake up Nathan in the morning, it was definitely one of my favorite parts to the day. Nathan was very cuddly in the morning and I LOVED it! I would wake him up and then proceed to carry him downstairs where Sam could say his goodbyes.

This particular morning something was off with him though. When I walked into his room to wake him up I noticed that he was breaking out in a sweat and had a worried look on his little baby face. I sat down on his bed and started gently rubbing his back like I did every day before this.

"Morning baby, time to wake up."

"Mama...I want my mama!" I was completely taken back by this outburst; it was very unlike Nathan. Even though I had only known him for a couple of weeks he was apart of me and it absolutely broke my heart to see him hurting.

"Shh...baby it's Nally. It's time to get up and say goodbye to daddy."

"Noooo...I don't want you. Get my mama, you're not my mama." I honestly did not what to do, luckily Sam must have heard the screaming because he came barreling in the bedroom a few seconds later.

"Sam..I don't know what I did. He just started screaming, I'm so sorry." I was terrified, I didn't know what to do and I didn't know how to comfort Nathan. He was right I wasn't his mom. I wanted to curl up in a ball and start crying, I felt horrible.

"It's okay McNally, I'll explain later." And with that he put his full attention on his son. He scooped him up and carried him to the rocking chair on the other side of the room. Nathan must have recognized his scent because he immediately started to relax. I hoped that one day I would have that effect on him, but that day was definitely not today.

I felt completely useless, there was nothing I could do to help and I knew that Sam was already running late this morning. It was 7:55 and parade started at 8:00, he was definitely going to be late and I couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault.

Once Nathan's breathing returned to normal and had fallen back asleep Sam looked up to me. "Hey, uh can you call Boyko for me and tell him I need the day off? He'll understand."

"Yeah, sure...I'll go right now. And Sam I really am sorry, I don't know what I did to upset him."

"You didn't do anything McNally trust me, I'll explain tonight."

So I went to call Boyko, figuring that was the only thing that I could do at the moment. Nathan had calmed down, and Sam was still soothing him in his sleep. I prayed that all of this would make more sense tonight, when Sam said he would inform me about what was going on.

I didn't see Sam and Nathan till about an hour later, I was sitting on the couch watching some morning talk show that I could care less about when I heard them walking down the stairs. I muted the TV and turned my body towards the stairs. When they appeared Nathan immediately wanted to be put down and came running towards me with his chubby legs.

He crawled up onto the couch and plopped himself down into my lap. "Nallyyyy! Daddy gonna stay home!" The little boy was back to his normal self, he was jumping up and down in my lap. He was showing no signs that he even recalled what happened an hour earlier and for that I was grateful.

"I know buddy, what should we do today?"

"Moooovies! Cause it raining..."

"Well that sounds perfect to me, should we watch Batman or Spider Man?" I knew that these were his two favorites and all I wanted to do today was make him happy.

"SPIDER MAN!" Nathan had more energy than anyone I had ever met, he could make you smile no matter what.

Sam turned to me and smiled, whenever I was spending one on one time with Nathan I could always feel him out of the corner of my eye watching. "So McNally, what do you say? Wanna have a movie day with us?"

There was probably nothing in the world I would rather do then curl up on a couch and watch movies with two of the most important men in my life at the moment. "Yeah definitely, that sounds perfect." We shared a look, we had developed this 'secret' language in the past few weeks, almost like we couldn't say what we were feeling but we both _felt_ it.

We sat and watched movies for the majority of the day, Sam on one end of the couch, me on the other. With Nathan sprawled out between us. His head was resting in my lap and out of instinct I rubbed my hands through that thick black hair of his. He fell asleep halfway through the second movie.

"Do you want me to go put him in his bed?" I asked when Sam noticed that Nathan had fallen asleep.

"No, I'll get him...I kinda miss these moments now that I'm back at work full time." Sam gently picked up Nathan without waking him and took him upstairs to his room.

I decided that I should clean up a little bit while Sam was putting Nathan down; we had made quite a mess with all of our movie snacks.

I had just finished cleaning Nathan's cup when Sam came walking down the stairs, he sat down heavily at the kitchen table and put his head down. Today was a lot of firsts for me, I had never seen Nathan that way and I had also never seen Sam break down in front of me. Well break down for a guy like Sam. He was breathing heavily clenching and unclenching his fists. He wouldn't let me see his face; I walked over and sat down next to him. I started rubbing his back slowly, hoping that it would comfort him the same way that it usually comforted Nathan. But when I touched him he flinched away like I had scalded him. So that was definitely the wrong thing to do..

"Sorry McNally, today's just been one of those days."

"Do you wanna go ahead and talk about it...I uh..kinda have plans tonight."

"Oh yeah sure, you don't have to stay today since I'm home, sorry, I just figured..."

Crap. Now he probably thinks I don't care! Why did I have to open my mouth, its not like I actually wanted to go on this date, some guy from class asked me to coffee and I thought maybe it would help get a certain someone out of my thoughts for a little bit. But now he's looking at me with those smoldering eyes, and it just makes me want to call and cancel. But I can't do this with him; he's my boss. We have to stay professional about this. Still the curious side of me won. "No, Sam. That's not what I meant at all! I wanna know what is going on, trust me. I care about him...and you. Please tell me, I didn't mean I needed to go right now."

"It's kind of a long story"

"I have time, I have all the time in the world."

"Okay well Laura, Nathan's mom, and I met each other are last year of college. We fell hard and fast, every minute of every day I wanted to be around her. There was something missing when she wasn't around. A few months after we graduated I asked her to marry me, she said yes but then something changed in her. She wasn't as passionate as she was before; she was starting to fade away and sometimes I couldn't even recognize the girl I loved anymore. We stayed engaged for a couple of years, with me going into the academy and her starting nursing school there was just a lot on our plate. We got married when we were 25. I don't know I guess you could say that my heart wasn't in it as much as it used to be. She had continued to change over the years and had basically become a completely different person. I don't know, I guess I thought if we got married then it would remind her of what we were when we were younger. I know it was stupid.."

This was the first chance he gave me to actually say something. He had said all of that with his head staring at an invisible spot on the table, almost as if he knew that if he looked at me he wouldn't be able to finish the story without breaking down. "No, it wasn't stupid, you loved her." I covered his hands with one of mine and squeezed it, he looked up at me and gave an almost hopeful smile. "You don't have to tell me more Sam, I know this must be hard for you."

"No I want to...you need to know this if your ever going to understand why Nathan is the way he is."

"Okay." And with that I squeezed his hands again and told him with my eyes to continue.

"We got pregnant about a year after our wedding, things weren't good between us. I could tell that she was only still with me because she didn't know what else to do and I was only still with her because I couldn't stop hoping that the girl I once knew would come back to me. When we found out I was excited, I thought that maybe this would actually fix us, bring us together and make us a family. Laura never wanted kids though, she was really driven and would rather focus on her career than having to come home to a kid every night. She didn't take care of herself during her pregnancy, I would have to force her to go to doctor's appointments and make sure she took her vitamins every day. Hell I even had to make sure she wasn't drinking half the time. But I couldn't give up hope, I thought that when she held Nathan in her arms for the first time that she would realize what a good thing this could be and how Nathan could be the best thing we did with our lives. But I was wrong once again, I was blinded by her; something about her was intoxicating to me. Its like the more she shut down the more I tried to get us back to what we used to be. She never smiled at him, whenever he would wake up crying during the night she would throw a pillow over her head and not get up. She didn't love anything about him, he was like an annoyance to her. I couldn't stand it anymore; the way she looked at him and the way she talked to him. I had to protect my son, I loved him. More than I had ever even loved her. I think once Nathan was born is when I finally took my blinders off and realized how bad things really were. We weren't happy and it showed. She didn't want to be a family, she didn't even want to be with me. I dealt with it for a while, talked to her parents and counselors. I didn't want to just give up; the girl I had fallen in love with wasn't there anymore and I thought that maybe if the right person talked to her that I could get her back to who she was. Remind her how much we loved each other. But she didn't want to be reminded, for a while she put up an act; she acted as if things were going to go back to normal. Even started paying more attention to Nathan but I could tell. I knew when she was faking it and when she was genuinely happy; I had seen both. For about a year I let her continue to fake it, the whole 'fake it till you make it thing' doesn't really work though. She never stopped faking and one day I had just had enough. I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being this unhappy and I didn't want my son growing up in a house where his parents didn't love each other. So I filed for divorce and about six months ago it was finalized. We were through; she just packed up her stuff and left. I haven't heard from her since we signed the papers. Nothing. Nathan would mutter mama for about 4 months after, it broke my heart. How do you tell an 18 month old that his mom didn't want him? Once he finally stopped muttering her name, thats when the nightmares started. I would wake up to him screaming for her and that is what you witnessed this morning. It happens every couple of days, which is way for the last two weeks I loved you being here. He hadn't had a nightmare since you showed up, well I mean until today...so that's my screwed up life. Aren't you happy your living with the most screwed up guy there is and his kid?"

I just looked at him, he had opened up so much. He had never said that much at one time before; I looked at him with so much emotion and said, "Yeah I am, because that screwed up guy loves his kid more than any other parent I have ever met. You did the right thing Sam; you protected him. Your a good guy, and the screwed up part well that will go away with time." I looked down at our hands and noticed that at some time during his story we had laced our fingers together. Something went through me when he squeezed my hand. I wanted to stay there forever, but I looked at the clock and it was almost 3:00, my coffee 'date' was at 6:00 and I had to finish my english paper before then. I looked up at his eyes and searched for something, almost to tell him that I would be there for him and Nathan for as long as I possibly could. I rubbed my thumb on the back of his hand and started to say the thing I really didn't want to. "Umm..is it okay if I go work on some homework? I have to be somewhere at 6 and wanted to finish this paper before then." Sam immediately unlaced our fingers and stood up, I felt as if something was missing.

"Yeah sure, you can have the rest of the day off, I've got him."

"Thanks Sam, I'll uh...see you in the morning?"

"Yeah sure McNally, see ya bright and early."

And with that I walked out the back door and up the stairs to my studio apartment. I wanted to call and cancel with Derek but I knew that I should at least try and put myself out there. Nothing was waiting for me here that I could have.

_A/N: My initial plan was to finish the day in this chapter but I ran out of time! If I have time tonight I will right part 2 and get it out there ASAP along with another chapter tomorrow! Hope y'all like this one, it was really hard to write..so please and feedback would be great._


	5. The One With the First Interruption

_A/N: Okay here's part 2. Its really short but it is just the night portion of the previous chapter! Sorry to break it up. I wanted to get the first part out ASAP! _

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rookie Blue! **

My date with Derek didn't go as bad as I thought it would. He was a nice guy, he didn't carry around a baggage and he knew how to just live in the moment. So what exactly was I missing about him? Oh right, he didn't have dimples...which I had become pretty accustomed to. I tried to sit and have a nice conversation with him; we talked about school and our childhoods but I didn't want to open myself up like I did with a certain someone. I was missing the tingly feeling I got in the pit of my stomach every time I laid eyes on him. But I was trying to be positive about it, and ya know what can you do when the guy you have a thing for is a decade older than you, has a kid, been divorced and is technically your source of income? You go out with someone else to try and get him out of your mind, you try and get the feeling to go away...wish it would have actually worked. I was being optimistic, I was going to try and make this work so I let Derek walk me to my door. but when he was leaning in to kiss me this happened...

"So can I take you out again sometime? Maybe this time we can do dinner.."

"Yeah sure I would love that." (NOT) What is wrong with me!

"Okay great.." And that is when he tried to lean in and kiss me, he was just mere centimeters away from me and...

"Hey McNally, can I get your help in the kitchen?" Huh? Was that Sam..surely I am imagining it because my boss would not be interrupting my very PERSONAL moment on my night off. Only when I turned around there he was, flashing those dimples, my dimples, right at me.

"Uh yeah sure, can you just give me a minute?"

"Okay, just don't take too long."

When I turned back around Derek had taken a step back. "So I'll uh see you in class tomorrow?"

Phew. Kiss moment was definitely over. Shouldn't I be upset about that? "Yeah, sorry about that..just new job don't wanna make the boss mad. But I'll see you tomorrow."

I turned around and walked towards the house, I took one final look at Derek's retreating form with his head hung low. I almost felt bad for the guy, I didn't want to lead him on but I also needed to give this a chance. I walked inside to find Sam washing dishes at the counter.

"So what did you need help with?" Nothing seemed to be going wrong, he was just standing there washing dishes like he did every other night.

"Oh yeah sorry, I got it. I just couldn't get this damn stopper out and figured you'd might have a tip but then I came back in and it just slipped out."

Okay..I knew that was a lie because I had stood at the counter with him washing dishes for the last two weeks and not once did he ever use the stopper.

"Oh right..the stopper. Well I'm happy you were able to survive without me."

"Just barely McNally, just barely."

I smiled at him, I couldn't help it. When I was around him all I wanted to do was smile and laugh. "Where's Nathan?"

"Upstairs..asleep. You know it is past 9:00 right?"

"Oh wow..I didn't realize that. Duh, guess that was a stupid question than huh? How was he doing the rest of the day?"

"He was good, his normal self. Asked for you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here.." I didn't know what else to say, usually I stayed around the house on my nights off but tonight I wasn't here and I felt bad leaving Nathan like that.

"Don't worry about it, I can't expect you to be here all the time. But uh..do you have plans tomorrow night?"

"No..why?" My stomach filled with butterflies about what he may ask me. But what he did ask me was definitely not what I was expecting.

"I kinda have a date, my friend Jerry set me up and I was wondering if you could watch Nathan for me? I'll pay you extra for it."

Okay. Wow. So I have a date and then boom next day he does. Some coincidence. "Yeah sure, I don't mind keeping him at all. I should probably go and get ready for bed, you good here?"

"Yeah I'm just great."

"Okay goodnight Sam."

"Night McNally."

I went and locked myself in my room for the rest of the night. I needed to be by myself to think about everything that happened today. It was a very eventful day to say the least. Sam had opened up to me, I had a date and now Sam has a date..ugh why is my life so complicated! I got ready for bed and tried to forgot about the day..yeah right. I was in for a very restless night sleep.


	6. The One With the First Date With HER

A/N: Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Had a crazy day, my A/C went out...and no A/C in a Texas summer is not a fun way to start the day!

I think I got two hours of sleep the night before; all I could think about was Sam. And how it felt to even hold his hand, got what am I 12..I have held a guy's hand before! So why did it feel so different this time? Whenever he finished telling me the story about his ex wife all I wanted to do was stand up and pull him into my arms and never let go. He looked so vulnerable; I didn't know what else to do so I got out of there. Little did I know that when I returned home from my not-so-good date that Sam would be waiting for me! I was so happy to see him but then we he told me he had a date that all went away. Like what the hell? Does he need to one up me or something. Like okay sure Sam I'll watch your kid while you go get it on with some random chick. Ugh! What was this guy doing to me. When I turned and looked at my clock I realized it was almost 7:00; realizing that I had lost track once again thinking about him I jumped out of bed and tried to get ready as fast as possible.

I didn't get to the main house until a little after 7:30; Sam probably thought I was avoiding him because I was usually in there by 7:00 to have breakfast with him. I walked into the kitchen and he was just sitting there drinking his coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Hey, sorry I overslept."

"Everything okay?" He asked me. Why wouldn't everything be okay; besides the fact that I can't get you out of my head everything is just perfect.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind I guess. You know with school and everything."

"Uh right yeah sure, well I should probably go get dressed, do you wanna go wake up Nathan?"

"Yeah of course...but Sam he won't react like he did yesterday right?"

"He shouldn't but if he does I'll be there.'

Right he'd be there, of course he would be..he's always there. I went upstairs to wake up Nathan, praying that I didn't frighten him. I went and sat on his bed and before I could even say anything he woke up and threw himself in my arms.

"Nally, Nally...I missed you soooooo much yesterday! No leaving!"

"I missed you too buddy, sorry I wasn't here for dinner, it's just going to be you and me tonight though and we will have so much fun."

"You and me? Where daddy gonna be?"

"He'll be home a little later than usual sweetheart but I'm sure he will be here to say goodnight."

"Oh okay." It didn't take much to satisfy whatever Nathan was wanting to know, and for that I would be eternally grateful.

"Do you want to go downstairs to say goodbye to daddy before he leaves?"

"Yep." It was so adorable when a baby says yep and pops the 'p', well maybe it was just adorable when Nathan did it.

I grabbed him out of his bed and took him downstairs, Sam was filling up his coffee mug; once again, when we reached the kitchen.

"Hey someone wanted to say goodbye." He turned around and showed me those big dimples and I felt a little weak in the knees. He walked over to us and took Nathan out of my arms.

"Are you going to be good for Andy today?"

"Yep" There was the yep again; god I was becoming a mother who thought that everything there child did was the most amazing thing.

"Okay, well I see you a little later than usual tonight, Andy is going to stay here and eat dinner with you. I'll be home to say goodnight."

"Kay daddy, love you."

"Love you too buddy." Sam handed Nathan back to me. "Thanks for watching him tonight, I know you probably have a lot of things to do."

"It's fine Sam, have a good day and I'll see you when I see you."

"Okay bye McNally. Call if you need anything."

"Always do." And after one last smile he was out the door. I still can't believe that he is actually going on a date tonight. My head hopes that it goes well for him but my heart, well that's a completely different story.

Nathan and I had a really good day. We went to the park and had a picnic. I let Nathan feed the birds with our left over bread and I think that I have never seen him so happy. We went back home so that he could take his nap and I could get some studying in. He was out like a light as soon as I laid him down in bed. If there was one thing I was good at it was tiring him out. I went and grabbed my laptop from my room and took it to the kitchen table, hoping that I could get something done. Nathan slept for a good 3 hours and I was able to get some homework done and finish my outline done for my paper. I had made good progress, it was good to have something to keep my mind off of other things.

I went and grabbed Nathan when I heard him begin to cry and took him back down to the couch to give him time to wake up. He loved to snuggle right after he woke up and that was probably one of my favorite parts of the day; they just didn't last long enough. I put on Sesame Street for him and that seemed to satisfy him for a while. Usually Sam was home by now and he helped me entertain Nathan; I didn't really know what else to do and I still had a good 4 hours left. I made him a snack that he ate during Sesame Street to hold him over until dinner and then we went and played with his toys. I don't know why I was nervous about keeping him the whole day, time flew by with him. We played until it was time for me to start preparing dinner. We ate while watching Batman, something that Sam usually didn't allow but I figured it could be something special that we did together. After dinner I cleaned up and went and gave him a bath. It was passed 8:00 which meant it was past Nathan's bed time, and I definitely assumed that Sam would have been home by now.

"Hey baby, do you want to go night - night and then daddy can come say goodnight when he gets home?"

"NO! Nally daddy said that he would be home to say goodnight, so we wait for him."

The worst part was that he was right, Sam did say he would be home for bedtime so where was he? "Okay, we will wait. I'm sure daddy will be home really soon."

We sat and watched TV till after 10:00, Nathan was asleep in my lap and I could tell he was exhausted. I picked him up to take him upstairs and that is when Sam decided to walk through the door. Nathan perked right up at the sound of the door opening.

His hands immediately went out to his dad begging him to hold him. Sam obliged immediately and took Nathan into his arms. "Hey buddy, I thought you would be asleep by now." He gave me a look almost asking why he wasn't asleep by now..well it is definitely not my fault that you are home so late!

"You told him that you will be home for bedtime so he didn't want to go to bed until you were here." I said with a glare, I was annoyed. Sam had a date and it obviously went well considering how much longer it took.

Sam looked guilty, almost like he forgot he had said that and knew what Nathan must have been like trying to stay awake for him. "Oh right, sorry..I uh guess I lost track of time." Yeah I'm sure you did, I mean of course! That is just my luck.

"Well you got it from here, I'm just going to go to my room, I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, okay..thanks. I'll... uh ...see you in the morning." I just rolled my eyes and walked away, I didn't mean to be so jealous. I mean we weren't anything but I couldn't help it. What could he have possibly been doing that he was two hours longer than he should of been? I didn't want to think about it; 50 different scenarios were rushing through my mind at once and I couldn't help but wish that I was the one out on a date with him and not some whore that his friend set him up with.

I really needed to get a good night sleep..but with all of this tension between us that was never going to happen. I had an amazing day with Nathan, everything went perfectly and I could tell that he had really started trusting me. But when Sam comes waltzing in at 10:00 all I can think about is his date and how far they got. Snap out of it Andy! He's your boss, you know this! So why can I not stop imagining what his hands feel? And how amazing they would feel touching _everything_ on me...and not just my hands.

_A/N: I know short..I am trying to set up the story so it can go the way I want it to without being rushed so just be patient! As always please review._


	7. The One With the First Fight

_A/N: A few people have asked about Sam's POV, as of right now this story will only be from Andy's POV. The way I have this story in my mind it needs to be that way, and who really knows what is going on in Sam's head? I know I don't! Hopefully what he says/does will be enough to satisfy. I may do an epilogue in his POV when this story comes to an end. And now for the next chapter..._

It had been six weeks since that night, the night of Sam's date. Ever since then I can count 8 times that Sam has asked me to watch Nathan at night. At least he has made it home by 8:00 every time. He apologized for a good two weeks after that night, claimed that they got to dinner late and the service was horrible. But something was off; I wasn't completely sure I believed him. I wanted to...god did I ever, I guess I just have some issues trusting what comes out of guys mouths. I still did not like those numbers, that means he has been on 9 dates, _nine_! I hated her, I'd never even met her and I hated her. I loved my nights alone with Nathan sure, but I loved my nights with _both_ of my boys even more. I had been on 4 more dates with Derek and it was going absolutely no where. Every time he kissed me I just wanted it to end. It was missing the passion, the passion that I only felt with Sam. Our last date was a little over 3 weeks ago and I told him how I was feeling and decided to end it. Like Sam said the 'fake it till you make it' thing did NOT work! Derek was nice, safe and I could definitely have a future with him but I don't want a future with him. I don't want safe, I want someone who can make my skin feel like it's on fire, who makes my stomach get butterflies and whenever I'm around them all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch superheroes with his kid. I want _him_...and he doesn't even know it.

Sam and I had grown a lot closer in the last six weeks, we had a good routine. Whenever I didn't have class I spent my nights with them; Nathan got to where he wanted both of us to put him to bed; and I definitely didn't mind. I felt at home when I was with them, more at home than I had ever felt in my life. It was like I belonged; I was the missing piece in there life and they were the missing pieces in mine.

I got up and got ready for my day, I had definitely gotten used to getting up at 6:00 in the morning, since I had been doing it basically every day for the last 2 months. I went into the main house and did what I always did; made my coffee and sat down at the table waiting for Sam to come him.

"Morning McNally..have a good night sleep?" I'm guessing he asked that because I was sitting there with a smile on my face but really I was just thinking about him.

"Yeah, definitely. You?"

"Yeah yeah, same as usual. Nathan had a nightmare last night, but for the first time he wasn't yelling for her he yelled for me. So I guess that progress right?"

"Sam that's great! I mean it isn't great that he had a nightmare but it's good that he called for you. Was he okay? I usually hear him and didn't, I must have been out."

"I just got to him quick, wasn't really in a deep sleep yet. He was fine, I got him calmed down and back to sleep in no time." He was looking at me like he was proud of himself. He was proud that he was able to calm down his son; over the past month I started to notice that Sam felt a little insecure in his role as a father but truth was he was amazing at it. He always knew exactly what to do. If I felt completely safe with him, than Nathan had to also.

"And he was okay for the rest of the night?"

"Yeah McNally, he was fine I promise. ...but uh you have any plans tonight? I kinda wanted to take Ali out but wanted to check with you first."

Of course he wanted to take her out, this makes number 10! When you reach the double digits in dates that has got to mean things are getting serious right? My biggest problem though was that I could never say no to him. "I'm not busy, I can watch him."

"Thanks, I owe you..really."

"No you don't, it's fine really Sam. I get it. I'm just gonna go wake Nathan up if that's okay?"

"Uh yeah..that's great. I'll just go finish getting ready."

"Okay great!" Every time he brought her up I had to get out of there, it was almost like whenever I was reminded about her I couldn't stand to look at him anymore.

So I went and woke Nathan up like I did every other morning and brought him downstairs snuggled into my chest.

Sam turned around and smiled at us, every time I got him looking at Nathan and I in any kind of embrace he was looking at me with those dimples popping out. Almost like he couldn't believe I was there and that his son had someone that loved him as much as he did. Sam came up to us and kissed Nathan on the top of the head; whenever he did this it got him insanely close to my face, close enough where I could just lean in a few inches and our lips would meet. Almost like a happy married couple kissing goodbye before the husband goes off to work; with their sleeping baby in their arms. Before I could even think about actually doing anything he was off and out the door. I wouldn't see him till 8:00 tonight.

"Nally..I's sleepyyyy!"

"Okay baby, we can go sit down."

"Night night Nally..."

"Shh, go to sleep baby." I sat down on the couch and held Nathan in my lap rubbing my hand up and down his back while he drifted off to sleep. This had become a common occurrence with him; especially on the nights he had nightmare. I was more than happy to oblige; I loved having him sleeping in my arms. He was so warm and soft and I felt completely content just sitting there.

I guess I had drifted back off to sleep also because the next thing I know my phone was ringing. I looked at the caller ID and immediately picked up.

"Hey is everything okay?"

"Yeah everything's fine McNally; I just wanted to call to tell you something."

"Okay shoot.."

"Well I just talked to Ali and she thinks it is about time that she met Nathan..." There was a long pause before he finished what he was saying. My mouth had dropped open and I just looked at the sleeping baby in my arms. "So umm...yeah I think when I get home tonight I might bring her with me."

I didn't know what to say. I was completely speechless, he wanted to bring her home to our home and introduce him to my baby? Well okay, not my baby but he sure as hell felt that way to me. It was a good 60 seconds until either of us said anything.

"McNally..you still there?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. Um okay; well I'll be here so I guess I will see you and her tonight."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I am just _peachy_."

I could hear his chuckle on the other end of the line. "Peachy? Really McNally...that's not even a word."

"It is to a word, well it is in my book."

"In your book..right."

"Well it is the most important book in the world, you could learn everything there is to know from that book." I was smiling and laughing and I guess the movement woke Nathan because he started to stir. Before Sam could say anything else Nathan was awake. "Oh uh I gotta go, Nathan just woke up..so I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah see you tonight McNally, tell him I love him."

"Always." I hung up the phone to pay attention to the most important boy in the room. "Hey babe, did you get enough sleep?"

"Yep. Was that daddy?"

"Yeah, he says he loves you baby, and he will see you tonight at bedtime."

Nathan frowned as soon as I said the word bedtime. "What's wrong buddy?"

"I don't like when daddy doesn't get home till bedtime. It's no fair."

"I know sweetie, but he will be here to tuck you in and then maybe tomorrow you can spend the day with him. How does that sound?"

"Will you be there?"

"Of course baby." God. This little boy made my heart melt.

"Kay, good. Food pwease!"

"Okay, lets go get you some breakfast."

The day passed like any other. It was a park day so Nathan and I went and ran around there for hours after his nap. We came back to eat dinner and I gave him a bath. We were sitting on the couch playing patty-cake (his new favorite game, ever since I taught it to him) when Sam and Ali walked in.

"McNally, I'm home."

"We're in here." Sam came walking into the living room with Ali following behind. My stomach immediately went into knots. This was going to be _awkward_.

"Hey buddy, there is someone that I want you to meet." Sam came and grabbed Nathan out of my arms, my baby had a weird look on his face, almost like he was nervous and I did not like that. My protective instincts were definitely kicking in.

Nathan grabbed onto his dad's shirt while Sam walked over to where Ali stood.

"Nate, this is Ali; she's daddy's friend."

"Like Nally?" Okay well that was definitely awkward! I looked at Sam and just kind of shrugged, trying to tell him I had no clue how to handle this situation.

"Uh no buddy, not really...Ali is a special friend." Good work with that one Sam..I'm sure that really cleared things up for him.

"Why is Nally not a special friend?" Nathan was definitely making things difficult for Sam and I almost wanted to laugh if this whole situation wasn't so weird. Ali was just looking on, she almost looked confused by the whole thing.

"Uh..she is buddy just in a different way. Sometimes daddy's need a friend like Ali that they can go out with to spend some grown up time."

Don't ask me how _that _explanation worked, but that seemed to suffice Nathan's curiosity for the moment. For the first time of the night Ali decided to speak up.

"Hi cutie, I have heard a lot about you." Nathan was hiding his face in Sam's neck which was extremely unlike him. Usually he trusted anyone and everyone, he was anything but shy.

"Uh Sam, he seems tired..what if I just take him to bed and Ali can come by tomorrow night?"

"Oh can I take him?" Did she really just ask that..she has never even met Nathan, why would she think that she can put him to bed?

I tried to show Sam with my eyes that I did not think that was a good idea; especially with the way that Nathan was acting but I guess Sam hadn't even noticed because next thing I know Sam is handing Nathan over to _her_.

All hell broke lose as soon as Sam took his arms off Nathan and Ali was holding him.

Nathan was crying..my baby was crying because some whore was holding him.

"Mama! Mama...put me down I want my mama! You are not my mama!" He had never called for her when he was awake, I looked at Sam and he looked just as confused as me; especially since just the previous night Nate had called for Sam and not Laura. Ali put Nathan down; I think she just had no idea what to do.

The next thing that happened though was more surprising than anything, Nathan came sprinting over to me, crying harder than I have ever heard him and was yelling mama.

Once he reached me he held his arms up as high as he could, still crying. "Mama..up pwease! Up up mama." I picked him up and he immediately stopped crying and buried his face into my neck. He had his arms wound tight around my neck, I looked up to Sam and his face, well his face scared me a little bit. He looked pissed, almost like I had told Nathan to call me that; which I had definitely not. I was perfectly happy with being Nally to him and Sam knew that.

"I'm just gonna take him upstairs, we have had a long day. It was nice meeting you Ali." I looked at Sam almost threatening him to even try and say something about it.

"Sure..hey McNally we need to talk when I get back."

"Okay, I'll wait for you in the living room." I walked up the stairs and out of their sight; I let out a huge sigh. That definitely did not go according to plan. I walked into my baby's room and laid him down on the bed.

"Mama story!" I thought that maybe that whole 'mama' thing was just Nathan lashing out but I guess he really meant it..so what did that mean?

"Okay baby, we can read a story in just a minute. First I need to ask you something, why aren't you calling me Nally?"

"Cause your my mama and I love you. Don't you love me mama?"

"Oh sweetie, of course I do. I love you so so much." I couldn't dare tell Nathan wrong, if he wanted to call me that then I sure as hell wasn't going to stop him.

I read him a story and by the last page he was passed out. I wasn't lying we really did have a very long day and I knew he had to be tired. Tonight was probably not the best night to introduce someone new to him. But I was almost sort of happy of the outcome..does that make me a horrible person? I do take care of him every day and I love him as if he were my own son. So what if he did call me mama from now on..would that be so bad? Every kid needs a mom, I would know that better than anyone.

I had been sitting on the couch for a good 30 minutes until Sam finally walked through the door, he shut it louder than usual and I could tell that he was pissed.

"What the fuck was that back there?"

"Excuse me?" I was in shock, he had never talked to me that way.

"You know what I'm talking about McNally, why the hell is my son calling you mama?"

"Okay first of all _your_ son is sleeping upstairs so keep your damn voice down and second of all I don't know. Maybe because he was scared, you did just spring this girl on him. Maybe he didn't want her did you ever think of that?"

"Did you tell him to call you that?"

"Are you kidding me Sam! No I didn't tell him to call me that, I'm not some kind of freak that is trying to steal your son, okay. You know what he calls me, what he has always called me; I did not tell him any different. I was perfectly fine being Nally to him okay?"

"Then why would he even think of calling you that?"

"I DON'T KNOW SAM! I'm with him every day, I make him breakfast and lunch and put him to sleep at night; maybe he thinks of me that way."

"Are you saying that I don't take care of my son and that you do everything?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't say that at all! You know I don't think that, you are a great dad and he loves you! I just mean that I spend a lot of time with him and I love him okay, I do and I would do absolutely anything for that boy. Hell I would jump in front of a bullet for him. So maybe, just maybe I can be that for him. Every kid needs a mom Sam, trust me."

The way he was looking at me, it was like he was looking at me for the first time. I saw love and desire in his eyes and are they always that dark? There not are they? Wait..what does that mean..why is he looking at me like that?

He took a step closer to me and I took a step back, he took another step closer until my back was up against the wall and he was standing like _right_ in front of me. Mere inches away. His eyes didn't show anger anymore; they showed something else but I couldn't figure out what. We stood there and stared into each other's eyes until he spoke.

"I'm sorry.." Before I could even process or ask him what for his lips were on mine and he was kissing me like really kissing me. Like shoved against the wall, hands grasping my hips hard enough to leave a bruise kissing me. His mouth was everywhere he started at my mouth and then moved to my neck and he started to suck..he was definitely going to leave a mark and I did not care at all. I wanted him to leave marks, all over me; I wanted his hands everywhere. But before I could do anything else, or even try to keep up he pushed himself off of me and took a step back and walked away as fast as he possibly could. He just left me there trying to catch my breath and get my heart beat back to normal.

Okay..what the fuck just happened?

_A/N: Hehe (: what's gonna happen? Please review! I'm really nervous about this chapter, this was definitely not how it was supposed to end but I caved._


	8. The One With the First Denial

I couldn't sleep; ever since I had moved in here my life had consisted of a lot of restless nights but this was by far the absolute worst. All I could feel were his hands on me and I wanted to feel more. I wanted to walk into his room and demand that he told me what the hell was going on. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and wake up with him holding me. I had never felt like this before, I had never wanted to be confined to another man's bed; it made me feel claustrophobic. But with Sam it was different; I wouldn't mind being held down _at_ _all_. I just couldn't figure out why he would kiss me and then storm off without even saying a word? Did he think things would just go back to normal if he didn't say anything, like maybe they could just ignore the fact that he shoved me up against a wall..because that would be a definite no. I was never going to forget how that felt and what scared me was that if that felt good just imagine how everything else would feel.

I looked at my clock, it was 4:00 in the morning and I had not dozed off once; I had to be awake and 2 hours. Tomorrow or should I say today was going to be a very long day. I could be working on some schoolwork to at least try and get my mind off of things but I don't think that would even help; nothing and I mean nothing could get my mind off of that.

I must of actually dozed off because next thing I know my alarm is screaming at me. I wanted to hit the snooze..god did I ever but I needed to see him; try and tell what he was feeling. So I rolled myself out of bed, splashed some water on my face and made my way inside. It was completely dark, almost as if there was no one awake. I tip toed through the house trying to see if any lights were on. It was pitch black, all the blinds were shut and curtains were drawn. I went up the stairs and peeked into Nathan's room to find him not there. I checked the driveway and found Sam's truck exactly where it always was. I couldn't figure out what was going on; Nathan wasn't in his bed and Sam was here so where were they? I went and creeped down Sam's hallway, luckily his door was cracked so I pushed it open and that is where I found them. Nathan was sprawled out on his stomach, while Sam was on his side with a comforting hand on Nathan's back. Sam was never one to be up late so I figured that today was his day off. He usually tells me the night before but then again I guess last night didn't really go according to plan. The worst part was when I was up, I was up. I would not be able to go back to sleep now so I went and curled up on the couch and turned on the TV.

The first noise I heard was over an hour later. I heard Nathan's 'dada' and immediately wanted to get up and go get him before he woke Sam. I figured he could probably use the sleep but before I could even get off the couch I heard Sam.

"Hey buddy, good morning."

"Mornin' Daddy! Where's mama?" I muted the TV so I could hear Sam's response. I had never been happier that his room was just right around the corner.

"Uh..hey dude can I ask you something?"

"Yeppp"

"Why do you call Andy mama?"

"Mama asked me the same thing last night, why can't I call her mama? She takes care of me..isn't that what mommy's do?"

"Yeah buddy it is, but you know that Andy isn't really your mom..we've talked about this..remember?"

"But daddy, I want Nally to be my mama; so I call her that. She loves me..she tells me so. Pwease daddy puh-wease!"

"Okay Nate, okay." I figured that was not going to be the end of the conversation; Sam and I were going to have to actually sit down and talk about this but not with Nathan. He wouldn't understand and it wasn't fair for him.

I heard the bed creak as they were getting up and next thing I knew Sam was holding Nathan in the doorway just staring at me..

"Oh hey, I didn't think you would be up?"

"Yeah, up at 6. Didn't know you had the day off." I shot him a look like he should know that..he was the reason I got up way before I actually needed to. Running off of less than two hours of sleep was already not fun.

"Um yeah..sorry. Guess I forgot to mention it."

"Yeah I guess you did." I was annoyed; it isn't like I expected him to come and give me a good morning kiss in front of his kid but I don't know, I wanted _something_. Hell I don't even know what I wanted but how the morning was going was definitely not it.

"Do you want some breakfast?"

"Yeah sure, do you want me to take him?"

"That would be great thanks, I will just call you when it is ready."

I went and took Nathan from Sam's arms and he curled into me. Did I mention how much I loved early morning snuggles? They were probably the best part of my day.

"Morning buddy."

"Mama..." I will never get used to that, I have only been in Nathan's life for two months and I was somehow a mama? It was crazy, and I didn't know if it should weird me out or if I should love it as much as I already do. I knew I was going to have to sit down and have an actual grown up conversation with Sam about this; I was just not looking forward to it.

I turned on the TV and Nathan and I watched 'Winnie the Pooh' while Sam prepared breakfast. Sam was a fantastic cook, so whenever he had the day off it usually included an AMAZING breakfast! One more plus of taking this job.

"Hey guys it's ready." I took Nathan into the kitchen and put him in his high chair. I looked at the table and plates were already on the table; it looked so good. There was eggs, sausage and hashbrowns (my favorite) just sitting there waiting for me. Yeah, a girl could get used to this!

"Thanks Sam, this looks so good..."

"Yeah no problem McNally, figured it was the least I could do."

We sat down and ate breakfast together; it was not even awkward because Nathan was there keeping us entertained. He was such a show off and it was absolutely adorable. When we were finished I offered to clean up but Sam insisted that he had it. I felt like he was trying to get me out of the kitchen so I grabbed Nathan and went to the play room.

When Sam was finished with the kitchen he came in and joined us. "Hey Andy, I can take it from here. I'm sure you have a lot to do today."

Well actually I didn't because I wasn't even told I had today off but I was going to say that to him. He was not acting like himself this morning and I didn't want to push any more buttons. "Oh okay, yeah I do. Lots of schoolwork, you know the usual. I'll just be in my room for most of the day. So I guess I will see you later?"

"Yeah, we can talk later."

"Well just come get me if you need me."

"Always do, later Andy."

I walked out of the house and up the stairs to my room. I wanted him to talk to me and tell me what he was feeling but I should of known better. It all happened in the heat of the moment and I should not of expected it to actually mean something; even though it did to me.

_A/N: Sorry for the short chapter guys, I am going to try my hardest to update again today and there will be more Sam and Andy in the next chapter. Don't forget to review..trust me it makes me move SO much faster! _


	9. The One With the First Talk

A/N: So since so many of you have kept on insisting that there be something from Sam's POV...here it is. Hope it doesn't disappoint! I will definitely need some people telling me how I did!

**Sam's POV:**

I didn't know what to do when I saw her this morning. I couldn't sleep; I tossed and turned for hours until I went and got Nathan and brought him back to my bed. I told myself that maybe he would have a nightmare and I would be right there, but truth is I thought that he would help me get some sleep. If he was there I could just look at him sleep and them maybe fall asleep myself.

I heard her come into the house, cop instincts, I heard her creep up the stairs and then I could feel her in my doorway. I wanted to open my eyes and tell her to come lay down but I couldn't. I was 10 years older than her; I've worked with her dad since she was in middle school. Most importantly I was her boss and my son loved her. If things didn't go as planned he would lose her and I couldn't let him lose someone else.

I was a jerk to her last night and I could not help it. It's what I did; when someone was getting to close I push them away. Bad habit..but the scary part was I think she was the closest to ever come to actually fully breaking in. I never even let Laura in completely, I mean sure she knew almost everything about her but I could live without talking to her or seeing her every day. I don't think I would be able to go on without McNally and I had only known her for 2 months...2 months..and she was making me completely lose my mind.

I had just put Nathan down for his nap and figured now was the best of time as any. I had to go talk to her; I was short with her this morning because I just didn't know what to say. I still don't but I have to _try_. Maybe if I saw her it would help...

I knocked on her door and waited impatiently.

"Sam, hey..is everything okay?" No everything is not okay McNally, I kissed you and not you won't get out of my mind!

"Not really..can we talk?"

"Sure. Do you want to go to the living room so we can hear Nathan?"

"Yeah that would be great."

"Okay, can you just give me a minute and I'll meet you in there?"

"Of course, I'll see you in there."

She took 15 minutes until I heard the door open, what could she have possibly been doing? She looked fine whenever she opened the door, but then again she always looked beautiful. God I had it bad..this was not going to end well.

"Hey so what did you want to talk about?" Seriously what did I want to talk about..how did she get under my skin so easily?

"McNally you know what I want to talk about.."

"Umm..right okay."

"Look I don't really know where to start but we need to talk about this okay? I mean one second my son is calling you mama and the next I'm kissing you. Which I'm sorry about; I didn't mean to take advantage of you."

"Advantage of me? You didn't...Sam...this is all really complicated."

"I know, so just let me make it easy. I'm your boss Andy, well technically and I can't go kissing you and confusing everything. That's not the kind of guy I am. I'm too old for you; you are supposed to be out doing what other college kids are doing these days. Instead you are here taking care of Nathan and well me..and its not fair. I love having you here but it just isn't fair."

"Are you...are you firing me?" Was she kidding? That was the last thing I wanted to do. There was no way in hell I was letting her go anywhere.

"No Andy, of course not! Just you and me we can't happen..okay? As far as Nathan goes I love that he has you. And I talked about the whole 'mama' thing with him; he's stubborn. I don't think he will be changing that any time soon. Even though he is just two he understands what a mom is supposed to be and that is what you have become to him. I uh..I think I'm okay with it. I wasn't at first well obviously but the more I thought about it the more it fits, you know? Just uh..please don't hurt him. I understand you have a lot going on but he can't lose anyone else okay?"

"Wow I think that is the most I have ever heard you say..."

"Yeah well I guess you bring out the talkative side in me."

"Look Sam, I want you to know that I would NEVER hurt Nathan. He means the world to me. I guess what I don't get is everything you said about you and me? I'm not some immature teenager okay..I don't want to go out clubbing and dancing every night. I would rather be here with you and Nathan. I'm happier here then I have ever been in my entire life. This feels like home, and well I have never really had a home before. I don't want to be doing reckless things.."

"But Andy you should want to. You are supposed to want to make mistakes. I know I did when I was your age; you don't have to act all grown up all the time." Why was she making this so difficult? I have to stay strong, she needs to understand where I am coming from. We can't have a relationship...we just can't.

"I'm not acting..this is who I am. A lot has happened in my life that made me grow up really fast. I'm past the whole 'reckless' stage of life, I don't want that..I want you. And I think that you want me to, you just won't admit it."

God..of course I wanted her, I mean look at her. I'm a 29 year old, single dad and some 19 year old wants me? "Andy..we can't do this. I'm too old for you and I'm your boss okay?"

"Shouldn't it be my choice if you are too old for me?"

"Andy, stop okay. I'm not trying to be a jerk but just trust me on this."

"You know what fine, if you don't want me then that is fine. I can live with that but I need to hear you say it. Tell me..cause I do not believe anything that you have said."

Was she seriously going to make me say it? I couldn't say that, I can't look straight into those deep brown eyes of hers and tell her that I don't want her. "Andy..."

"Tell me Sam, just look at me and tell me. I won't bring it up again."

"I don't want you Andy..."

Her eyes showed shock. Like she didn't expect me to actually say it. I couldn't stand seeing her sad, it's like I just took all the hope out of her. But I was doing what was right, she didn't want me. She may think she does but she doesn't. I'm too fucked up to bring her down with me. She has her whole future ahead of her, she can be whoever she wants to be.

She didn't even look at me when she got up. "Okay..I'm just gonna go back to my room. I'll see you later."

She turned and walked away and I heard a choked sob as she went. I could barely stand it, I wanted to run after her and take her in my arms...mostly I wanted to take her to my bed and lay her out. She did things to me that no one else has ever done. I wanted her..I wanted her and I couldn't have her and that was something that was never going to change.

_A/N: Tell me how I did! Hope it wasn't horrible! _


	10. The One With the First Hug

A/N: LOVED the feedback for the last 2 chapters so please keep it up! This chapter will be back in Andy's POV; I think it definitely comes easier for me!

I can't believe he is acting this way, I know he feels something for me. He wouldn't have kissed me like that if he didn't. The thought would have never crossed his mind; unless I'm some naive teenager who he just wanted to shut up. But that is not it, it can't be. The way he looks at me when I'm with Nathan, basically just how he looks at me all the time. Like I'm the only girl in the world he wants to be looking at. I took this job because I needed the money, I didn't expect to fall in love with the guy! Damn it..this made things so much more confusing. Everything was going to be so awkward, I just wanted to go back to the way it was before. But we could never go back, I don't think it was even possible. Every time I look at him I remember how his lips felt on mine and how his arms felt around my waist, I just want to feel that again and I'm not going to be able to. Why does he have to be so stubborn?

It was a new day and I was going to treat it as one. I knew things were going to be awkward between us, they had to be. He basically told me that he didn't give a shit about me yesterday..how could things not be weird? But that was besides the point, this was my job. I had to be professional, he can act like I'm just some stupid teenager but I am going to prove him wrong.

I got up 30 minutes later than usual, I wanted to avoid breakfast with Sam. If I went into the house 30 minutes later than I could just go straight to get Nathan and that would at least put a barrier between us. So that is what I did, I went into the house to find the kitchen empty. I saw the light on in Sam's room and walked right by. I went up the stairs to Nathan's room. I had barely seen him yesterday; after our _talk _I had pretty much just stayed in my room all day. Not even coming out for dinner. I needed time to think and more importantly a night to sleep on it, to figure out how the hell I was going to go about this. I didn't come to 'being professional' till about 2:00 this morning.

When I opened up Nathan's door it suddenly all made sense why I was putting myself through this. It was for him. The little boy that was currently curled up in his bed. He was the reason, the only reason that I had stayed after yesterday. I told Sam that I would never leave him and I was not going to break that promise. _Never_.

"Hey baby, time to get up. We have a fun day ahead of us."

He rubbed his little eyes trying to wake himself up. "Mornin' mama. I missed you yesterday."

"I missed you too buddy. But we get to spend the whole day together today! How does that sound?"

"Yay! Mama we gonna have sooooo much fun!"

"Yes we are! Now how about we get up so we can go tell daddy bye?"

"Kay...I's up...I's up."

I picked him up and carried him down the stairs. He had changed so much over just the last two months. He has grown a little bit and isn't quite so chubby. If there was one thing I missed it was his chubby arms..they were adorable! I almost wanted to just feed him cake and ice cream all day so he would get all chubby again!

When I reached the bottom step Sam was walking out of his room.

"Oh hey...coffee's ready for you in the kitchen."

"Thanks Sam, you didn't have to do that."

"Of course I did, I've done it ever since you moved in here. Why would I stop now?"

Oh I don't know cause you told me you could care less about me? Ugh right being professional. "Uh...I...uh..I don't know..just thanks I guess."

"No problem McNally." Okay if he could stop sending me mixed signals that would make everything A LOT easier! Luckily we always had Nathan to break some of the tension.

"Daddy...me and mama are gonna have a fun day today!"

Sam turned and looked at me; giving me one of those looks that I could never really decipher what he was trying to tell me. "Oh yeah buddy, what are y'all going to do?"

"I don't know." Nathan turned in my arms to look at me. "Mama what are we doing today?"

"Whatever you want to do baby..you get to pick."

"Did you hear that daddy..I get to pick..mama is letting ME pick!"

"I did hear that, well I'm sure you are going to have lots of fun today. I'll see you tonight okay?"

"Yep! See you tonight daddy." Sam came and kissed Nathan on the forehead, like he did every morning, but this time it was different. When he leaned in he grabbed my elbow and pulled me forward. So basically we were all hugging and all being way too close together. I could feel his breath on my face and all I wanted to do was stand on my tip toes and kiss him, kiss him until he admitted how he really felt. But I couldn't he made that very clear and I was going to accept that. If he doesn't like me then why is he touching me and holding me very very close..was he trying to drive me absolutely insane?

He took a step back and must have noticed what he had done because as he was walking out the door I heard a muffled 'sorry' leave his lips.

Well that was just fantastic...

A/N: Sorry it's so short, this chapter was definitely supposed to be longer but I didn't have as much time today as I originally thought. So hope this helps until tomorrow!


	11. The One With the First Jealousy

_A/N: Sorry I didn't update yesterday guys! Your support has been absolutely amazing throughout this story. Hopefully I won't have too many more days that I can not update. _

_It had been almost two weeks since our 'infamous' talk. We had reached a very professional level to our relationship since then. I no longer got up early to go have breakfast with Sam and my nights were spent studying or going out with some friends. Sam wanted me to act like a normal teenager so that was exactly what I was doing. The worst part of these two weeks was the 3 times that Sam had asked me if I could keep Nathan over dinner. Which could only mean one thing, Ali. I tried not to let it bother me and I could tell he felt a little awkward over the whole situation so I just let it go. I always said yes and he would come home alone; however he did sometimes tell me that it would be later than usual. He had started telling Nathan that he would just see him in the morning so I could go ahead and put him to bed. He would then come in around 10:30 and 11:00 and I would proceed to my room immediately. The less time we spent alone together, the better. _

_This morning was like any other. I went into the house and woke up Nathan just in time for him to say goodbye to Sam before he left for work. Ever since that morning two weeks ago when Sam got a little to close; he now just took Nathan from my arms to say goodbye and then gave him back to me. I guess he figured that it would be less awkward this way. _

_Today was the first day that it was warm enough to go swimming; I had promised Nathan and we were both extremely excited. Sam had an amazing pool and Nathan has been absolutely begging for me to take him swimming. So today I caved; we were going swimming. I got him dressed, put his floaties on and when we got outside I could barely hold him back._

"_Mama jump..mama jump!" _

"_Do you wanna jump in together buddy?" _

"_Yeah mama..jump now..puh-wease!" I figured jumping in and going underwater was not the best thing to do with a two year old so to satisfy his want of jumping in I went to the shallow end; that way I could at least keep him above the water. _

"_Okay baby, lets count to 3 and then we will go...1...2...3..." We jumped and I swear Sam could hear Nathan scream all the way to the station. He was screaming with pure joy and it was absolutely adorable. Good thing most of his neighbors worked so there was no one we could disturb. I let Nathan float around a little bit, pushing him around. _

"_Mama we need to go jump again...again mama...again!" _

"_Right now?"_

"_Yeah mama..we have to!"_

"_Why do we have to buddy?" _

"_Duh mama...we superheroes!" He threw his hands up in the air like he was ready to take off and fly. I had never seen something so adorable. I swear he got cuter and cuter with each passing day.  
_

"_Well if we are superheroes then we HAVE to go right now!" _

_"You're so smart mama!" _

_I couldn't help but laugh, he was two and already such a charmer. "Thanks baby." I picked him up out of the pool and went to jump again when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I whipped around, absolutely thinking the worst in the two seconds it took me to turn and see who was behind me. _

"_Hey McNally..uh..what are you doin?" He was looking at me like I was from a different planet, when it was very obvious what I was doing. When I got done trying to decipher the look he was giving me, I noticed the very attractive man standing next to him. _

"_Sam..hey. Uh..we were just swimming. Nathan has been begging for weeks. What are you doing here?" _

"_I just came by to get a file I forgot about." He was giving me the strangest look, almost like I had done something wrong. _

"_Oh okay.." His friend was staring at me, like staring and okay I guess I was standing here in a bikini soaking wet but people didn't usually just stare. Since Sam wasn't acknowledging him, I thought I would just take matters into my own hands. I set Nathan down knowing that he probably wanted to see Sam and introduced myself. "Hey..I'm Andy." I reached out to shake his hand, and god those were some soft hands!_

"_Andy McNally..as in Tommy's kid?" _

"_Uh yeah that's me..do you work at 15?" _

"_Yeah yeah..Luke Callaghan..I'm actually one of your dad's rookie detectives." Of course he was! That was just my luck..this guy was out of a Calvin Klein magazine and he worked with my dad. _

"_Oh." I didn't know what to say and Sam looked like he wanted to punch Luke in the face, why I had know idea. Finally Sam decided to speak up. _

"_Right well McNally you continue what you were doing, and Callaghan and I will be leaving now." Sam basically pulled Luke away and left me just standing there. What the hell was wrong with them? He never acted this way and that look that he was giving Luke, well that look could KILL! _

_I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what the hell went on that afternoon. I couldn't figure it out, I couldn't even concentrate on my school work because of Sam...again. I thought I was over this, I thought maybe just maybe I had finally gotten him out of my head. Guess not. Nathan had just woken up from his nap when Sam walked through the door. _

_I carried him into the kitchen, he wasn't quite awake yet and we met Sam at the counter. _

"_Hey, how was the rest of your day?"_

"It was great Andy, just fantastic." Okay. Wasn't really expecting all the sarcasm, like seriously what was wrong with him? 

"_Is everything okay?" _

"_Why would everything not be okay?" _

"_I don't know Sam, why don't you tell me." I was not letting him get out of this, something was bothering him and I was going to get him to tell me what it was. _

"_Look can we just talk about this later." He looked at Nathan, silently telling me that this was not a conversation we should be having in front of him. _

"_Yeah sure, I'm just gonna go for now. Do you wanna just come to my room after you put him down?" I needed to get out of there, there were just way too many emotions going on that I did not understand. _

"_Okay that works, I'll see you around 8."_

"_Great..I'll be waiting." I turned to walk away and when I reached the door he spoke again. _

"_Hey McNally."_

"_Yeah?" _

"_Thanks.."_

"_For what?"_

"_Everything." _

"_Your welcome Sam." I opened the door and left, I had almost four hours to wait till we had another one of our 'talks'. _

_In the time that I had to wait I managed to get two papers finished and even had time to study for my test tomorrow. I had an apple for dinner, not really having an appetite to eat. Also not knowing what our talk would consist of I didn't want to eat anything to heavy. _

_It was 8:30 when I finally heard a knock on my door. _

"_Hey can I come in?" _

"_Do you not want to go to the living room, you know for Nathan." _

"_Got it covered." He waved the baby monitor in his hand, he obviously thought ahead this time. _

"_Oh okay, great. Then yeah come on in." _

"_Thanks..look I don't really know where to start." _

"_What's going on Sam?" _

_He took a seat at my desk and had his head in his hands. "Callaghan asked for your number."  
_

_I could barely hear him, he was talking so softly that I had to ask him to repeat it. "Sam I can't even hear you, what did you just say?" _

_He looked up at me then, making direct eye contact with me. It also kind of freaked me out when he did that. "I said Callaghan asked for your number." _

_Well I definitely wasn't expecting that. "Umm..did you give it to him?" _

"_Of course I didn't give it to him Andy!" Why was he yelling at me? Wasn't that a simple question..._

"_Okay, well you know you could've. I wouldn't of minded..he seemed nice." _

_"Nice McNally? Seriously..he's not nice. He's an ass, has a new girl every year." This man was so confusing. Why was he getting pissed? He went from perfectly fine to incredibly pissed in a matter of seconds. _

"_Look Sam, I appreciate the concern but I can take care of myself. I know you think I'm some little girl but I'm not. I can handle things." _

"_When the fuck did I say you were a little girl?" _

"_Uh..you did..two weeks ago. You know when you told me that you felt nothing for me? Remember?"_

"_I never said that, you think I would shove you up against a wall and kiss you if I thought you were some kid?" _

"_Well that is basically what you told me two weeks ago? What the hell is going on with you?" _

"_What do you mean what is going on with me? You are the one walking around in a fucking bikini having guys stare at you for ten straight minutes!"_

"_Seriously? That's what you are pissed about! You don't like me wearing a bikini?" _

"_McNally did you not see the way he was looking at you? He was basically picturing you naked, which wasn't really hard because you basically were!" _

"_Okay really Sam, fuck you. You have no right coming in here and saying all this to me. I was taking your son swimming, I didn't think I had to worry about a two year old staring at me and I didn't know you were gonna be here! You never come home during the day, let alone bring someone with you. You know what if I'm such a whore and I can just do nothing right, maybe I shouldn't be here." _

"_Andy..wait. You know that's not what I meant. I just..the way he was looking at you. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to punch him in the face, and then when he asked for your number I lost it. I'm sorry okay, I crossed the line..again."_

"_Yeah you did Sam. I'm trying my best to be professional about this whole thing and it's really hard to do when you keep doing things like this!" _

"_I know, look I'm sorry. I just lose it sometimes, and I do Andy..you know care about you. I just don't want to see you get hurt." _

"_I get that I do but your not my dad or my brother and you made it pretty damn clear that you are not my boyfriend. So if you get what I'm saying here is that it's not really your place to say these things. Look maybe you should just go, I'll see you in the morning..okay?" _

"_Okay, just..Andy. I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do and as much as I hate to admit it you kinda get inside my head sometimes and I don't really know what to do about it." _

"_Just fake it till you make it right?" _

"_You know that never works McNally." _

"_Well maybe it can for us. Goodnight Sam." I went and opened the door, hoping that he would get the message that this conversation was over. I was trying to not completely lose it and it was getting harder with each passing second. _

"_Night McNally." As soon as he was out the door I slammed it shut. I can't believe he just did that! Luke was someone who seemed nice, who would treat me right. Then Sam just waltz's back in and takes over my entire mind again. _

_I couldn't do this much longer...and I didn't know what to do about anything! _

_A/N: I apologize for any grammar mistakes..I'm falling asleep on my keyboard and my brain is not functioning on all cylinders at the moment but I wanted to get this written for y'all! As always please review._


	12. The One With the First Date With HIM

Sam was driving me absolutely crazy. I couldn't take this roller coaster I was on anymore. One day he was flirting with me the next he was completely ignoring me and taking Ali out on a date. And when Luke asked Sam for my number I had wished he had given it to him. I needed a way to distract me from Sam, and Luke seemed like the perfect way to do that. Which is why after Sam got home from work today I was going to the precinct to see my dad and Luke.

I walked into my dad's office only to find him not there but when I turned around Luke was there.

"Hey Andy, looking for your dad?"

"Yeah, figured I could take him to dinner. Well that and I wanted to see you." God this was embarrassing, I had never been this upfront with a guy before; well any guy except Sam.

"Me? Why did you want to see me?"

How was I supposed to say this? Why was everything so difficult! "Look..Sam told me that you asked for my number and he can be kinda overprotective sometimes. So I guess I came here to give you my number...I mean if you still want it? Which you might not and that's fine..god why am I rambling! ...Shutting up now..."

Luke was smiling at me. Was he making fun of me or was that a good smile? "Andy..yes I would love your number. I've been trying to figure out how to get it for a week now."

"You have?"

"Yeah. I guess when you can't even get a girl's number it doesn't make you a very good detective huh?"

"No, I'm sure you're a great detective." I was pulling out all the tricks. I was flipping my hair, complimenting him, smiling. I was going to get a date out of this!

"Do you want to maybe go to dinner with me tonight?"

There it was. The invitation. It's what I came here for right? So why did I all of a sudden want to be anywhere but here? "Yeah, I would love to."

"Okay great. I just need to put the files away and then I'm done. Do you want to just hang out here for a bit?"

More waiting in this office. That was just great... "Yeah sure, I'll just sit in here. Just come get me when you're done?"

"Okay. I should only be a few minutes."

"No rush. I'm good." Yeah I was great just hanging out here; in an office; waiting for my date. I was going to be optimistic about this though. This was going to turn out well! I was going to have a good time and enjoy my date. I had no one else waiting for me after all.

Luke wasn't lying that it would only take him a few minutes, he was back in less than 15 minutes. "Andy. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, definitely! Let's go." We walked out of the precinct together and to his car.

So the date with Luke was good, I guess? He took me to a restaurant next to the Black Penny. It was low key and just what I needed. When the date was over he took me back to my car that was parked at the precinct and he even went and opened my door for me. I guess chivalry isn't dead? He was a gentleman, pulled my chair out for me at dinner and asked me a ton of questions about myself. I let him give me a goodnight kiss; which Sam wasn't able to interrupt this time. That should be a good thing right? So why was it that all I could think about in that moment was that I really wanted him to?

I was driving home and all I could think about was the last three months of my life. A lot had changed and when I say a lot, I mean ALOT. In the last three months of my life I had kissed three men, _three_. Which sure that made me sound a little slutty but it's not like I had ever made it to anything beyond that kiss. Which that in itself kinda sucked to. I was 19 wasn't it supposed to be easy for me? When I thought about it two of those men probably would have sex with me in a heartbeat but all I really wanted was one. The one that said we couldn't be together but everything that he did made that statement false. The way he acted around me, the way he just barely touched me. How overprotective he was and the way he looked at me when I was holding Nathan. There was fire and passion and I wanted that. I wanted him. I didn't want safe and ordinary, I didn't want Derek or Luke. I had those before and they never turned out well. I always went for the safe choice in high school, I was done with that. I wanted something that gave me butterflies and my skin feel like it was on fire when they touched me. I wanted Sam and there was nothing I could do about it.

When I finally got home I went straight to my room. I knew there was something I wanted to do and I didn't know how to go about doing it. I paced my room back and forth until I looked out my window to see into his room. His light was on, he was still awake. It was late, past 11:00 and he had shift at 8:00. But the fact that it was this late meant meant Nathan had been asleep for hours and once he was asleep he was out, there was no waking him up. My date with Luke really did last long, I didn't even realize how late it was until now, until I wanted to go and start another part of my night.

I finally got enough nerve to go into the main house. I tried to be as quiet as possible so Nathan wouldn't somehow hear me but at the same time I didn't want to freak Sam out with someone creeping around his house in the middle of the night. I know he kept his gun in his nightstand and I definitely didn't want that gun pointed at me. I reached his door and lightly knocked. When there wasn't an answer, I just figured maybe he was in the bathroom or something?

So I slightly pushed the door open. "Sam?"

"McNally? What the hell!" That's when I finally made out what I was seeing..and oh..wow!

"Shit sorry!" I covered my eyes, and I could feel the blush creeping up on my cheeks. Never had I walked in on someone...having sex. Especially when I wanted to be the one in that bed. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

"Andy. Just get out okay?"

"Yeah yeah..sorry! Really..uh hi Ali. Good to see you...?" Why was I not leaving? My legs were glued to the floor and I couldn't move and why was I talking? They were obviously right in the middle of something. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Was this really happening?

"uh... Hi Andy."

"McNally seriously! Get the fuck out of here!" I guess him yelling at me makes me actually do something because with that I was out the door and slamming it behind me. I ran out of the house and up into my room. Once I finally reached it, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was crying. What the fuck? I was crying over some ass that was in his bedroom fucking his girlfriend. Which I just interrupted..how did that even happen? I seriously just walked in on Sam and Ali having sex. I didn't know what to do; he obviously wasn't kidding when he said he didn't have any kind of feelings for me.

I didn't know how I was supposed to do this anymore...


	13. The One With the First Realization

_A/N: Hey guys! Don't kill me I have a very good reason for being a little MIA this weekend..my fiance surprised me with a little vacation! And he would of killed me if I spent the weekend writing even if I really wanted to. _

_Also, please notice the rating change to M. This doesn't mean that there will always be smut but I do believe this is more of an adult story; so the M seemed appropriate for that. However, this is a piece of __**fiction**__..so please don't take anything I say in this story to heart or take it the wrong way! It is just for FUN! _

_Okay done rambling..here's the next chapter! _

The night after 'it' happened I didn't sleep at all. I couldn't, every time I closed my eyes I saw them..together..in bed. It was definitely not something I wanted to fall asleep thinking about. So I laid in bed, tossing and turning trying to figure out what the best thing was to do. I was about to get up and back my bags when it hit me...Nathan. I couldn't leave him; as awkward as things were with Sam and I that little boy needed me. I couldn't just walk out, he depended on me and expected me to be there. Also I desperately needed the free room and board so I really had no where else to go.

So here was my new plan; cut off all contact with Sam unless Nathan was in the room. NO more 'talks' were to be had. I would go inside in time to wake up Nathan and then leave as soon as he got home. I started eating dinner with my dad a lot but that also meant running into Luke a lot. I tried things with Luke, for two weeks I really tried. I think he could tell that my heart and mind belonged to someone else though. He cut me some slack, he told me that once I got everything figured out and if I wanted him back all I had to do was ask. He told me that he would be there if I needed anything, he really was a good guy and I felt awful for not wanting to be with him. But the heart wants what it wants. As hard as I tried to ignore it my heart wanted Sam.

It had been a month since I walked in on him and ever since then he had not asked me once to watch Nathan at night. I didn't really know what this meant, had he stopped seeing Ali or was he just to embarrassed to ask me to watch his son while he went and fucked his girlfriend. Whatever it was, I didn't want to know. I prayed that it was the first thing but something told me that it was most likely the latter. Sam was very professional and polite with me. Almost like we were just acquaintances and nothing more. Like I was just some random babysitter that watched his kid from time to time. As much as that hurt I was the one who wanted that right? I needed to get over him but I couldn't, everything I tried didn't work. So I was destined to spend the rest of my life pining after a guy that I could never have..desperate I know! But I couldn't help it, I honest to God could not help what he did to me. This last month with little to no communication was killing me but it was what had to be done.

Today was no different, I went inside to wake up Nathan and avoided Sam as much as possible. When Sam was telling Nathan goodbye for the day he turned and looked directly at me.

"Hey tonight I won't be home till around 6, is that okay?"

There it was, the first time he had asked me to stay late in a month. Before I could think of all the things he could be doing in those two hours he spoke again. I guess he noticed the look of horror on my face. "I'm just working on a case, have a few loose ends to tie up and it will probably take a little longer than normal." He flashed me one of those dimple smiles telling me that I had been busted. I can't even be jealous in silence without him noticing!

"Oh okay, yeah that's fine. Did you want me to feed him dinner before you got here?"

"No I'll just pick up something on the way home. How do chicken nuggets sound for dinner Nate?"

Nathan started jumping up and down in his father's arms. "Chick uggets! Chick uggets! Yayyyyy!" Sam and I couldn't help but laugh. He was adorable, I had only known him for a little over four months but I loved him. I never knew it would feel this way to have someone depend on you so completely. He gave me a reason to get up in the morning, I couldn't wait till that time in the morning when I got to go and wake him up and have him snuggle up to me.

"Chicken nuggets it is then. McNally did you want me to pick you up anything?"

Was he asking me to eat dinner with them? I hadn't done that for a month, no I was going to stay strong and I did have a very valid excuse for tonight. "No thanks, I have class tonight at 7."

"Oh um..okay then. Well I should get going. Be good today okay Nate."

"Kay." That was probably Nathan's favorite word. Whenever you told him to do something or not do something all he ever said was 'kay'. One more thing to make him even more adorable.

"See you tonight."

"Yeah Sam, see you tonight."

Today was a great day. Nathan and I ate breakfast together and then went to the park. It was definitely his favorite thing to do and I thought he deserved to do something fun today. We came home and had lunch and then it was his nap time. Recently I had been spending his nap time's to do homework. I had been falling behind with everything that was going on so I decided that for those hours of the day I would devote it entirely to my studies. It had helped a lot! I had been able to finish most of my homework during that time of the day that way at night I was able to go to my classes prepared. I had cut my course load after starting this job. I was only taking 12 hours, but it was definitely enough to keep me busy. 12 hours was the minimum I could take to still be considered a full time student so I could continue to receive my grant money. While it was only four classes, those classes on top of taking care of Nathan was a lot but somehow I made it all work. I loved my life at the moment. Everything was turning out great, only one thing was missing.

Sam got home a little before 6 as promised. I was relieved, I was afraid he was going to be late and then that would have made me late for class. But as promised he wasn't late.

"McNally, I'm home."

"We're in here Sam." Nathan and I were in the play room playing with the building blocks.

"Hey Nate..dinner's here." Nathan went bursting past Sam to go to his high chair yelling "FOOD" as he went. That little boy could eat!

"I uh..picked you up something too. Hope that's okay, I figured you needed to eat something before class."

"You didn't have to do that Sam." He was giving me this look, a look that I hadn't seen in the last month. This was the most we had talked and Nathan wasn't in here to be our buffer.

"I know, but I wanted to."

"Well thanks, I should probably take it to my room though. I need to get all my stuff ready."

"Oh okay, yeah that's fine."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow morning. Thanks again." I got up to start walking out the room when he stopped me with his hand on my arm.

"When you get home tonight..can you uh..can you come over? I have something I want to tell you."

"It's going to be late."

"I figured, it's okay. I'll be up."

I had to ask, I didn't want to witness what I did a month ago but I also didn't want to make things completely awkward between us. "Um..will you be alone?"

He flashed his dimple smile at me then, almost like he was mocking me. "What? That is a very valid question okay. I just got that image out of my brain and I would rather not relive it!"

Yep. Now he was definitely laughing. This was NOT funny! "Yeah Andy, I'll be alone. Just come over okay?"

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later then."

"Yeah McNally I'll see you later." That was supposed to be the end of the conversation right? So why was he not letting go of my arm?

"Uh Sam..."

"Yeah?" Okay he was definitely standing closer to me than he was a few seconds ago, and were his eyes always that dark?

"I kinda need my arm back..."

"Oh right. Sorry." And with that he dropped my arm and let me leave the room. I went into the kitchen to give Nathan a good bye kiss and told him that I would see him tomorrow morning. Then I left, I didn't know what was going to happen tonight but I could feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach about it.

Tonight was tonight. I needed to focus on my class for the next two hours at least! And then I would go home and face _him_.

_A/N: Sorry for the filler chapter but I needed it to set up what was going to happen next. (: _


	14. The One With the First Time

_A/N: I know a lot of you think that Andy has made it too easy for Sam, but just think about how Sam was on the show. He basically pined away for her for 2 years and as soon as she made a move he was there! So I think Andy can do that for 4 months! _

_Here we go..lucky number 13 (: _

I finished class a little before 11:00. Having two classes on a Monday night definitely made me hate Monday's as much as the next person but it was necessary! I was on my way back home and when I got there I knew what I had to do. I had to go into his house and 'talk' to him. About what? I had no idea! To say I was nervous was an understatement, I had a feeling but I couldn't figure out if it was good or bad. Basically I just needed to get there and find out what the hell was going on! Our 'talks' rarely ended well, they usually ended with fighting or me being completely and totally embarrassed. Then I had to talk myself into staying and not running away from him...the never ending cycle that had become my life. Was it so bad if I just really wanted it to all come to an end?

When I arrived home I went upstairs to my room to put my books away. I looked in the mirror to make sure I didn't look horrific and took a much needed deep breath. I was nervous, like my legs were shaking nervous. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to get the black out from underneath my eyes. Trying to impress someone at 11:30 at night when you had been awake since before 7 was never a good idea. I was on the edge of looking like a complete and total train wreck. Once I was finally satisfied with the way I looked, not so much satisfied but realized it wasn't going to get any better, I made my way down the stairs and into the house. I heard the TV going and figured that was a good sign that he had in fact stayed awake. Also another good sign was the fact that if the TV was on that meant he wasn't in bed having sex with Ali! Even though he told me he would in fact be alone tonight I couldn't help but worry. When I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room I saw him. He was sitting on the couch flipping through channels. He looked so peaceful that late at night, like everything in the day wasn't so bad anymore. He knew tomorrow would be a knew day. All I wanted to do in that moment was go and cuddle up to him and watch some old sitcom until we both couldn't keep our eyes open. Then he would pick me up and carry me to _his_ bed. It wasn't even about the sex, which okay that would be amazing, but more just the fact that I wanted to be around him. I wanted him to be there when I went to sleep and when I woke up in the morning. He could be my person, the one person that kept all the bad things away from me in life. I had never had someone like that and every time I saw Sam that was all I could think about. When I finally came out of my little 'daydream' I cleared my throat to make my presence known and he immediately turned around. His dark brown eyes bore into mine, they held an intensity that I had not seen in quite some time.

"Hey, sorry it's so late." I knew he had to get up early in the morning and I felt bad for having him wait up for me; even if he was the one who suggested we talk tonight.

"Don't worry about it. I'm the one who wanted to talk to you..remember?" Of course. Read my mind like usual. Am I like an open book? I would like to think I can keep some of my emotions in check but apparently not when he is around I turn into a 14 year old crushing on the guy in her math class!

"Yeah I guess you're right about that, so everything's okay right?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. How about you come and sit down instead of standing there like you want to run away at any second?" Okay really...he needed to stop doing that or I needed to get way better at controlling my face muscles!

I could almost hear some insecurity in his voice, and that definitely felt good. I loved having the same effect on him that he had on me. "Oh yeah sorry." I went and rounded the couch and sat down. Still trying to keep some distance between us because I honestly still didn't know what was going to happen and I thought if I was any closer I wouldn't be able to think clearly.

"I broke up with Ali today."

Okay so yeah, definitely wasn't expecting that. "Wait..What?" He must have liked my expression because he couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. I imagined I probably looked like a deer in the headlights at that exact moment.

"When I told you that I had a case that I needed to finish up, I actually went to talk to her, you know tie up some loose ends. Anyway things haven't been going so well ever since well you know." Was he actually talking about when I walked in on them? I know it was embarrassing, trust me I know, but I didn't think it would actually effect their relationship in any way. They seemed to be doing just fine to me!

"Oh. Um..look Sam you don't have to tell me all this.." I could feel my cheeks on fire, yeah I was definitely blushing.

"Yeah McNally, I do. I need to say it and you need to hear it. I don't really know where to start but I guess she didn't like the fact that after you walked in on us, I uh..couldn't get you out of my head."

"Umm..." I didn't know what to say, what were you supposed to say in a situation like this? I sure as hell did NOT know! He couldn't get me out of his head..did that mean what I thought it meant?

"You don't have to say anything just listen, which I know can be very hard for you to do. This last month I tried to make things work, I needed to get you out of my head but I couldn't. Every time I was with her I just wanted to be here with you. I think it started to show, I missed you a lot. I missed talking to you in the morning and you being here at night. I wanted to be around you and I couldn't help it. I started spacing out a lot when she was here and when she asked me what I was thinking about, she figured out it was always you."

I finally thought of something to say. I wasn't going to just let him lay it all out there without me saying a single word. "I thought that you just wanted me to take care of Nathan. I didn't think you wanted me around."

He looked shocked. Like he couldn't believe that I had actually thought that, let alone actually come out and say it. "God Andy, No..that was the last thing I wanted. Coming home to you and Nathan, spending time with you both made any shitty day that I had better. It was like nothing could go wrong if I was here with you."

Well that was surprising. Did he think that I could read his mind? How was I supposed to know that was what he wanted! "You could've just told me that, you know!" I was frustrated, he was so hot and cold with me. It wasn't fair..but I couldn't make myself turn away. I wanted him and nothing was going to change that. There was no point in me trying to fight it.

"No I couldn't, I'm not good for you Andy. I told you that, you deserve so much better than me."

"It should be my decision of who I want! You don't get to make that decision for me, that isn't fair." Why did he always think he wasn't good enough for me? I wanted him, he obviously wanted me..so why did he make everything so damn difficult?

"No what isn't fair is the guy who is supposed to be your boss and is a decade older than you falling in love with you."

What? Did he really just say that? Holy shit! "Sam...you uh...you love me?"

"Well obviously! Why do you think I'm acting so fucking crazy. This isn't who I am, no one has ever gotten under my skin the way you have. You're apart of me Andy and I don't really know what to do about that." He loved me. He just came out and said that he had fallen in love with me. No guy has ever said that to me, well except for Dad but he doesn't count! The guys I dated in High School, I never let them in enough to actually love me. And somehow Sam Swarek fell in love with me?

During our conversation we had moved gradually closer together. But it wasn't close enough, not for me anyway. I went to straddle his lap and he immediately started rubbing his hands up and down the outside of my thighs. "Why do you have to make everything so complicated?"

"Because you and me, we are complicated. Always have been and probably always will be. There are so many things that could go wrong if we do this. I don't want to fuck up your life. You're so young and you have your whole life ahead of you."

"I don't care about any of that. You are not going to fuck up my life! I don't know why you ever let yourself think that in the first place. If you weren't so god damn stubborn and actually listened to me in the first place we could have sped this thing up. I want you and you want me! Just stop fighting it...please!"

"McNally.." Okay his voice was definitely filled with lust and desire. God I just wanted to rub my hips against his, he was getting me all hot and bothered and we weren't even doing anything! I guess fighting was going to be our thing?

I put my hands in that thick black hair of his and started rubbing my fingers through it. I was looking anywhere but his face. I couldn't make eye contact with him. "What?" I whispered. I looked up when I said it and what I saw in his eyes was something I had never seen before. The way he was looking at me was filled with love, like he didn't want anyone but me, ever again. He grabbed my hips and pulled me forward and I felt just how bad he did in fact want me. I couldn't control my breathing. This was really going to happen..was he finally actually giving in?

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me forward and that's when it happened. He kissed me; with more passion than I had ever felt before. His hands were everywhere, he was obviously over his being professional thing. It's like he couldn't get enough of me. It felt so good to feel as wanted as I did in that exact moment. His hands were fisting in the hem of my shirt and I could tell that he wanted to rip it off of me but something was stopping him.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Was he seriously asking me that? Wasn't I making it completely obvious! "God Sam..yes!"

Apparently that was all the permission he needed because the next I know he had wrapped my legs around his weight and stood up with me in his arms. He started walking us towards his bedroom, his mouth was attached to my neck and the butterflies that had calmed in the pit of my stomach automatically started fluttering again. I had only been with one other guy, one! He obviously had SO much more experience than me, being that he had a freaking kid and a whole ten years on me.

He carried me into his bedroom and kicked the door shut. I was nervous and I was trying my hardest to not let that fact show. I didn't want to be nervous, I had spent the entire time that I had known him showing him how mature I was. If I freaked out about this what would he even think of me?

I was about to say something, what I had no idea but at the exact moment my mouth opened he laid me down on the bed and I saw him, clearly, like I had never seen him before. I knew whatever I did could never disappoint him; he loved me. I was never going to get used to that! As he was hovering over me, I didn't feel so nervous anymore. It's like him just being there calmed every bone in my body. I was happier than I had been in a long time.

Once I realized that there was absolutely no reason to be nervous it was time to get back to business. Sam was still completely glued to my neck, like seriously? There are other parts of me that he could be kissing! I grabbed his hair and pulled him away and pulled him towards my mouth..which in my opinion definitely needed some more attention!

All I could do was moan, I probably sounded like a porn star but I couldn't help it. His mouth did things to me, things that I wasn't completely used to yet! He pulled away from me and I let out a frustrated whine.

He chuckled, showing me his dimples; the ones that made me fall for him in the first place. "You promise your okay with this?"

Why did he need this much reassurance! I was laying underneath him, in bed; with my arms and legs wrapped around him. How could he think I wasn't okay with this? "Sam! You have to stop asking me that..does it look like I'm okay with this?"

I think that's when it dawned on him, that I was the one who straddled his lap. The one that was currently lying beneath him. I didn't have to be here, he didn't force me to be here, I _wanted_ to be here.

"You're a handful, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but you love me anyway." I couldn't help but through it back in his face, he did just call me a handful!

"McNally.."

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking." As he said those two little words his hands went under my shirt and began to massage my breast, all that I was able to muster out was a "mmhmm."

Next thing I know my shirts off and we are grinding together like two horny teenagers, well okay I was one but he wasn't! The friction that was being created between my yoga pants and his jeans was making me squirm underneath him. His zipper pressed into the perfect spot every time he rubbed forward. He unclasped my bra and his mouth immediately went to my breast...okay wow! My back came arching of the bed, I needed him to keep doing exactly what he was doing. I had one hand grabbing his head shoving him down on my breast as the other was desperately trying to unbutton his pants. When I finally succeeded I brought my legs up to shove down his pants and well I guess that got his attention because he brought his lips back up to my mouth rubbing up and down my side.

We were complete opposites at the moment, I was naked from the waist up and he was naked from the waist down. This was not going to work. As always it was like he could read my mind. When I opened my eyes to look at him he was moving down my body pressing open mouth kisses as he went. His fingers grasped my waistband and forcefully pulled them down. And okay laying completely naked underneath Sam Swarek was not something I was expecting to happen tonight. He began making his way up the inside of my thighs, when he almost made it to my center I let out the loudest moan. He looked at me with a smile on his face, almost like he wanted me to keep making those noises but then it hit me... shit! I hadn't showered today..well this was embarrassing.

I grabbed his hair and tried to pull him away but he wasn't cooperating! He was very focused on the task at hand, which okay when his tongue was done there and licking well _there_..it made it a little difficult for me to concentrate.

"Sam.." I tried to pull his hair again but in reality I don't think I even had enough strength in my arms to actually make him pull away.

"Hmm?" Oh my god..okay that added a vibration down there and I was basically shoving myself to his mouth!

"I uh...I might..well you know..." I couldn't make myself say it! Usually I was VERY on top of these things.

He pulled away then, obviously knowing that something was wrong. "What is it McNally?"

I covered my face with my hands and squeaked out, "I haven't showered today okay!"

I could hear him laugh and that was just fantastic he was laughing at me! He reached up and pulled my arms off my face.

"McNally, I could care less if you have showered or not, just let me do this!"

"Ugh but Sam! I might you know not taste good?" Did I really just say that? Why did I have to open my mouth at the worst possible times!

"Impossible...just trust me." When he finished that sentence he was already back down between my legs and all the fight I had in me faded away. He grasped my thighs and spread them farther apart.

My hands were grasping the sheets and I felt like a fish out of water the way I was squirming around. When I felt his two fingers begin to pump in and out of me my hands immediately went to his hair. I could feel his mouth on my clit and I couldn't control myself.

"Fuck Sam...oh my god. Don't stop! Please do not stop." Something about having Sam between my legs made me want to scream! I was never one to talk during sex but him, well he was different.

"Don't worry McNally, not stopping."

I could feel my walls tightening and my thighs went and grasped his head, wanting to keep him exactly where he was. "Sam I'm gonna...oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!" I could feel my release and okay why was he still done there! I grasped his shoulders to pull him back on top of me. When he get the memo he quickly crawled back up. I forced his shoulders done so he would give me his full weight and kissed him. Being able to taste myself on his lips was something I could do for the rest of my life.

"Hi." I didn't know what to say, I just really wanted to talk to him!

"Hi." He was breathing hard and I could tell how uncomfortable he was against my stomach.

"That was..that was amazing." Which amazing didn't begin to cover it but what else was I supposed to say?

"Amazing? That the best you got.."

I wrapped my legs around his waist and flipped us so I was on top. I leaned down and nibbled on his ear lobe getting an appreciative moan out of him..which I loved! "You have no idea.." And with that I kissed him, harder than I had kissed him all night.

After the best sex of my life was over and I could actually think clearly again I couldn't move. I curled up against his side with my leg draped over his stomach. We had just finished a few minutes ago and to say I was dead was a definite understatement! I wasn't even the first one to speak this time!

"You got a good set of lungs on you McNally, their is a toddler upstairs you know." Even though I couldn't see him I could hear his smile in his voice.

But shit! I had completely forgot about Nathan..and I definitely did not control my screaming very well. My head jerked up and I looked him in the eyes. "Fuck..do you think he heard us?"

"Us? I think you mean did he hear you.."

I slapped his chest, not taking comfort in his joking manner at the moment. "Sam! Seriously..we probably scared him!"

"McNally, calm down. There is no way he heard us, we're on different floors of the house and he is on the complete other side. I promise. He is probably still soundly sleeping in his bed."

"That wasn't funny! Jerk!"

"It was a little funny when you think about it. You should've seen your face..priceless."

"SAM!"

"I'm kidding! You're...you're perfect Andy."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely." I leaned up to kiss him, he had not been this completely open with me in so long, and he was actually really sweet! Who knew Sam Swarek would give compliments after sex!

"You weren't so bad yourself."

"I know..good to hear you say it though." He gave me one of his dimpled smiles and all I could do was laugh. His ego was way too big!

"You're really full of yourself you know!"

"Well actually McNally you were pretty full of myself a few minutes ago..so..."

"Ugh! You're such a dork!" I laid my head back down on his chest, I was completely comfortable where I was and I never wanted to leave. But then I realized that I couldn't sleep here, what if Nathan came in and saw me? That would definitely confuse him. "I should probably go back to my room."

"What? Why?" He definitely seemed confused. Did he want me to stay here?

"What if Nathan comes in here? He can't see my in bed with you!"

"Andy..Nathan isn't going to just come waltzing in here..he's two!"

"Well you never know!" Which okay he had a good point but my brain was still kind of mush so it wasn't my fault.

"You can sleep here..I mean if you want. If not that's okay with you." I loved when he was insecure with me. It made me feel like I actually had the upper hand from time to time!

I ran my fingers through his chest hair, not really wanting to make eye contact with him. "Sam, if you want me to stay all you have to do is ask."

I could feel him let out a deep breath, almost like he had been holding it until I gave him an answer. "Stay."

"Okay." I looked up and his eyes were full of love and I knew that I could never leave. Sam and Nathan had my heart and they probably always would.

_A/N: Please review! Smut is DEFINITELY not my speciality but I hope the overall chapter was okay! Oh & in case anyone was wondering this is not the last chapter! _


	15. The One With the First Morning After

_A/N: I know you hate me at the moment but I have very good reasons! Personal life keeps getting in the way and when I sat down to write a couple days ago my computer decided to completely freak out on me! So this is the first chance I have had..hopefully it was worth the wait. This chapter is in Sam's POV, originally I was going to put Andy's in here too but I have been getting so many reviews asking where this chapter is that I decided to go ahead and post it. So if you think it cuts off a little abruptly that's why. Andy's POV should be out later today or tomorrow. I will try and never make you wait this long again. _

**Sam's POV:**

As hard as I have been trying to fight the way I feel about her it wasn't working. I couldn't keep my mind off of her. I tried _everything_! I decided that what I was doing was completely unfair to Ali; she didn't deserve this. She deserved someone who actually wanted her. Ali wanted me the way I wanted Andy, the only difference was that Andy wanted me back. I couldn't fight it anymore, I wanted her. I wanted her more than anyone in my entire life. When I saw her with Nathan I could picture it, I could actually picture us being a family. Something I haven't let myself do in a very long time! And now I was lying here in bed with her after a pretty extraordinary night. A night that I would definitely never forget. My arm was wrapped around her waist and I never wanted to let go. I peaked over her shoulder to see how many more minutes I did have to just lay here with her and noticed that I had only 5 minutes until my alarm went off.

I didn't want to get up, I could stay in this bed all day just being with her. How pathetic was that? I tightened my arm around her waist, I couldn't get close enough. She didn't even stir, I must have really worn her out last night; I may be a decade older than her but I had absolutely no problem keeping up with her! I laid there for the next 5 minutes just staring down at her, trying to memorize every part of her face. It wasn't long enough because next thing I know my alarm is going off and I could tell Andy was pulled from her deep slumber. I reached over her to turn it off and then returned to the spot I was in.

She rolled over and rested her head on my chest while looking directly up at me. "Morning sleepyhead."

She gave me one of her smirks, which were beginning to look a lot like mine. "It's 6 o'clock in the morning, and we got like what 3 hours of sleep! I'm tired." She leaned up to rest her head in the crook of my shoulder. I actually thought she had fallen back to sleep when she spoke again. "I am definitely taking a nap with Nathan today, I don't even know how I am going to make it till noon!"

I couldn't help but laugh, she was extremely dramatic this early in the morning. I could tell that getting her out of this bed was definitely going to be a challenge. "Well lucky you McNally, I get to go to work all day and you get to stay here and take a nap...what a hard life you have."

She finally took raised her head and looked at me, she let out a sarcastic laugh before saying, "It is! I need my beauty sleep, okay...and someone didn't let me get me full 7 hours last night. You know it's a fact that people my age need their sleep."

I could definitely get used to this. I loved her over dramatized outlook on life. She made everything more enjoyable, how..I would never understand. "Are you sure people your age aren't supposed to be able to go off 3 hours of sleep? You're supposed to be just full of energy no matter how much sleep you get."

She look exasperated and it was hilarious. She laid her head back down on my shoulder. "Sam...please just 30 more minutes!" She sounded so pitiful that there was no way I was going to be able to say no to her.

"Fine Andy, I'll wake you up in 30 minutes. But I have to get up because you know some of us have a job to get to."

"Hey it's not my fault that my job consists of me staying here all day! I have to entertain a two year old! You know chase him around and wear him out so by the end of the day he actually wants to go to sleep. It is a very difficult job!" I could tell she was kidding, I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Oh yeah I'm sure it is...your life is just so very difficult." I couldn't help but tease her, she wasn't functioning on all cylinders at the moment and it definitely made conversations with her more interesting.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you...duh!"

I had to get up and I knew that if I let her fall asleep in my arms then I would lay here for 30 minutes and then probably be late for work. "Go back to sleep sweetheart, I'll wake you in 30 minutes"

"Mmm...okay." I could tell she was already drifting so I moved her off my shoulder and onto my pillow. I then preceded to slip out of bed, before I went into the bathroom I turned around to look at her one more time. Everything was perfect, the way it should of been all along.

I went into the bathroom, took my shower and got ready for the day. By the time I was done it had been 45 minutes since I had left her sleeping on my bed. Considering how tired she was I figured an extra 15 minutes couldn't hurt. But it was 7:00 and I knew that she usually woke Nathan up a little bit before 7:30 which meant it was definitely time to get her butt out of bed.

"Hey beautiful, it's time to get up." As much as I didn't want to wake her I knew I had to. Besides I couldn't let her just sleep the day away.

I didn't even get a response from her, all I heard was a grunt and she rolled over and put the pillow over her face. Usually something like this would aggravate me but with her it didn't bother me. I found it kind of adorable, never would I understand why.

I sat on the bed and pulled the pillow off of her face. I couldn't think of any other way to wake her up so I did what I had been wanting to do all morning. I leaned down and kissed her. Well apparently that did the trick because she immediately responded, she wrapped her skinny arms around my neck and pulled me down.

"Andy it's 7 o'clock..."

"Mmmhmm...yeah okay." She wasn't stopping, her kisses had a way of making feel drunk, like I couldn't get enough.

"McNally. I have to leave in 30 minutes you know."

"So stop wasting time talking! We don't have much time obviously."

I couldn't help but laugh, she seemed so flustered. Even though I had been leaving at the exact time every morning since she got here, she was acting like it was brand new news. "As much as I would love to stay here with you I really need to finish getting ready. And I figured you needed time before waking Nathan."

"Oh right! Nathan..you know Sam you could work on making my brain not go to complete mush! I guess I will be getting up then..no morning sex for you then!"

My jaw literally dropped at that one. God this girl was going to be the death of me. "Think you're real funny don't you?"

"Admit it..I'm kinda funny."

"Oh yeah..you're definitely the next Betty White."

"Ugh! Sam...she's like old!"

"Yeah and she's funny as hell..what's your point?"

"You basically just compared me to a Grandma!"

"I thought you liked the older ones?" I couldn't help but joke with her and when I actually got those beautiful cheeks of hers to turn red..well that just made my day a little bit better.

"You're not old. You're in your twenties and you got the whole 'hot young dad' thing going for you."

"Hot young dad thing?" And boom. There it was. The flush of the cheeks, just what I had been waiting for.

Just like that she was sitting up and trying to climb out of the bed. "You know what I don't have time to explain. I have to go get ready to wake up your son you know!"

She was embarrassed and it was the most fucking adorable thing I had seen. "Right McNally about Nathan. Don't get upset if I don't you know.."

"You don't what Sam?"

How was I supposed to put this? I didn't want to upset her but I also wanted her to see where I was coming from. "I just don't want to confuse him. So is it okay if we just keep this between us for a little bit?"

I expected her to be mad or sad or maybe a little bit of both. But what she did do amazed me. "Yeah definitely, I didn't expect anything different. We'll figure it out Sam, trust me."

This girl. She may be 19 but most of the time I'm pretty sure she is smarter than me. "Well since I won't be able to do this for the next 12 hours, I've got to make it last."

"Wha..." I cut her off mid word and gathered her into my arms and kissed her. I had never been extremely affectionate with anyone, not even Laura but I couldn't keep my hands off of her. It was like I needed to be near her constantly.

A few minutes later we broke apart. To say we already got a little carried away with everything would be an understatement.

"Well that was unexpected."

"I had to give you something to think about while I was at work. You know keep you entertained."

"Oh I'll be entertained." I gave her a weird look and by my expression I think she realized what she had just said.

"God Sam, I meant because of Nathan! Get your mind out of the gutter..sometimes I swear you are the teenager!"

"You wish."

"Nope. I like you just the way you are." She gave me another quick peck after that and then turned and walked out of the room. So much had changed in my life in just a few hours, all good changes. Actually scratch that..great changes.

I glanced at the clock and realized that I had 15 minutes to get coffee, breakfast and finish getting ready. I may be a little bit late today but it was definitely all worth it.

_A/N: I know there wasn't much..next chapter should have more substance. _


	16. The One With the First Call

**Andy's POV:**

I couldn't believe everything that had happened in the last 12 hours. He actually made the first step and admitted that he wanted to be with me. Whenever I went in to his house last night, that was the farthest thing on my mind. I mean sure I thought about it, wanted it to happen...but never in a million years did I think it actually would. It was so much more than I ever thought it would be. Even though I had only known Sam for a couple of months, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I needed him; somehow he was the one person who I felt whole with. I went through my entire life feeling as though something was missing and then out of nowhere I get this amazing job. Suddenly my life started to make a lot more sense.

Whenever he looked at me I felt beautiful. It was like no matter what happened he would make it better. After I had finally left his room I only had time to brush my teeth and get dressed. Now I was on my way back into the main house to wake up Nathan. When I walked inside Sam wasn't standing in the kitchen, I figured he was running as late as I was so I just went upstairs to get Nathan.

I turned the corner and that's when I saw them. Sam had Nathan in his lap sitting on the bed. Sam hadn't woken up Nathan since probably a month after I got here. It was always my responsibility to get him up in time to say goodbye to Sam before he left.

Nathan was curled up into his dad's arms, they were so much alike. Nathan was the spitting image of Sam and everything that Nathan did he obviously got from Sam. Basically when they are together it's just a lot of 'swarek-ness'! I guess Sam finally felt my presence in the room because next thing I know I'm staring into those deep brown eyes of his. A slow smile appeared on his face and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey. I figured you could use a few extra minutes this morning."

"Yeah thanks for that!" When he let out a chuckle I know he realized the fact that I wasn't thanking him for the few extra minutes he let me have, but the reason I needed those few extra minutes.

"Oh anytime McNally." At the mention of my name Nathan came out of his sleepy state and turned right around in Sam's lap.

"Mama..mama!" Nathan had his arms outstretched for me to come and take him from Sam's lap. Of course I obliged, I could never say no to this child!

"Morning baby." I went and snatched him out of Sam's arms and settled him on my hip.

Sam looked up at us and smiled. "I should probably get going, don't want to be any more late than I already am. Nate be good for Andy today okay?"

"Yep!"

Sam walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then turned his head where his mouth was right up against my ear. "Bye sweetheart." He whispered so softly that I barely heard him, then he gave me a quick peck on my temple and walked out. His goodbye made me legs feel like jello and I felt lightheaded! Leave it to him to say two words and make me all uncomfortable, while holding his child!

I took a deep breath and my heart beat started to go back to normal. I turned to Nathan when I thought I could actually form a complete sentence. "So what do you want to do today buddy?"

"Swim swim! Like a fishy mama!" Ever since we watched 'Finding Nemo' Nathan thought that he was a fish whenever he was in the water. It definitely made things more interesting.

"That sounds perfect to me! Lets go have some breakfast first okay?"

"Kay."

I took him downstairs and put him in his high chair to eat. I went and cut up his fruit and made his oatmeal. When I had everything ready I went and put everything on his tray. After he had finished breakfast I went and took him upstairs to change. The sooner we got in the pool, the sooner we could take a nap. I was definitely looking forward to that part of the day! Hopefully I could wear Nathan out in just a couple of hours. I've never known a little kid that loved the pool quite as much as Nathan. He could stay in it the whole day if I let him. I took him up to my room so I could get dressed and then we were ready to go.

Somehow it was already 9:30 by the time we got into the pool. This morning was going by so fast. Hopefully the rest of the day was like this because I couldn't wait for Sam to get back home. I missed him and he had only been gone for 2 hours! Gosh..I was seriously on the edge of being completely pathetic.

Nathan and I played in the pool till 11:00, he loved just floating around the pool and because I was the one who pushed him around the pool it was actually starting to be a good work out!

"Hey buddy..you ready to go inside and eat some lunch?"

"Nope." This was a very common answer from Nathan now-a-days, it was like everything you wanted him to do he did the complete opposite. I guess they don't call it terrible twos for nothing!

"How about this..we go and eat some lunch, take a nap and then maybe tonight Daddy will take you swimming again?"

"Really?"

"I'm sure we can talk him into it." I figured it wouldn't take much to talk Sam into going swimming, not with the recent events anyway!

"Okie dokie mama...I'm hungry!" I remember the first day I said 'okie dokie' to him, from then on it was his go to thing. He said it all the time, the first time he said it in front of Sam he gave me this weird look, like obviously he learned that one from you.

"I bet you are! Lets get dried off and then we can go find something to eat."

I took him inside and made his lunch. By the end of it his eyes were already starting to droop and mine were becoming heavier by the second. Every time I wanted to take a nap with Nathan I would take him up to my room. My bed was pushed against the wall for this exact reason. I think he liked sleeping in my bed more than his, luckily it didn't happen very often so he didn't really expect it! I went and grabbed a couple of books out of his room and carried him up to my room. By the end of the second book he was passed out on his stomach. His chubby cheeks were squished so much you could barely see his nose. I cuddled up against him and fell asleep with my hand rubbing his back.

I was awoken by the loud ringing of my cell phone. I quickly grabbed it and quietly snuck off to my bathroom so I wouldn't wake Nathan. I noticed it was almost 1:00, we hadn't been asleep for very long but then I noticed it was Sam calling and all of a sudden I was wide awake.

I quickly answered the phone before it went to voicemail. "Hey you."

There was a pause before he spoke. "_Uh hi...is this Andy McNally?"_

That voice was definitely not Sam's. So who was calling me from his phone and why? "Yes it is...who is this?"

"_This is Oliver, I'm Sammy's partner. Look something happened today and I need you to stay calm okay?" _

Sammy? Who the hell called him saying and what was this man trying to tell me? "Okay..okay I can do that. Just please tell me what's going on."

"_We answered a disturbance call and it went bad. I can't really say much more over the phone but he asked me to call you on the ride over."_

"Is he...is he okay?"

"_He's in surgery now. The way Sammy talks about you I figured you would probably want to come down here. But I know Sammy and he is not going to want Nathan to see him like this. So I called my wife, Zoe, and she is on her way over. She used to watch Nathan quite a bit before..well before you came along so he will be fine. We're at 's so just come when you can."_

"Okay..ummm thanks. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"_Oh and Andy?" _

"Yeah..."

"_Sammy's strong. He'll pull through this." _

"Yeah I know..thanks Oliver." I hung up the phone. I wanted to burst into tears. Jerry had barely told me anything but I could tell it was bad. Why did this have to happen today? Everything was finally going to work out with us and then this happens. I couldn't even think straight but I had to stay strong. I couldn't worry Nathan. I didn't like the idea of leaving him but I didn't know what else to do, Oliver was right Sam wouldn't want Nathan anywhere near the hospital.

I couldn't just leave Nathan sleeping, he would be terrified if he woke up and I wasn't there. So I went and woke him up and told him that I was had to go run a quick errand. I told him that Zoe was going to come and stay with him and he didn't act surprised at all. I guess Zoe did watch Nathan quite a bit before me. I took him back into the main house and right when I entered I heard a knock on the door.

There stood a woman who obviously knew everything that was going on but was trying really damn hard to be strong. "Hi..Andy right?"

"Yeah..hi. I just woke Nathan up from his nap so he might want to go back down but I don't know. I assume you know what to do?" I felt like a mom leaving her kid for the first time. When obviously Zoe knew exactly what she was doing.

Zoe looked at me like she understood exactly how I was feeling. She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I got him..don't worry. He's taken care of. I can stay as long as you need me to."

"Umm...thanks." I reached down and picked Nathan up to say goodbye.

"Bye baby. I'll see you in a little bit okay?"

"Bye mama." Zoe gave me a confused look at that but I didn't have time to explain. I needed to be on my way to the hospital. Nathan gave me a kiss on the cheek and then started squirming, his way of telling me he wanted down.

Nathan had run back into the play room and I could hear toys start moving around. I turned and looked at Zoe. "Thank you so much for this..really."

"Sure honey, tell Oliver to call me with any changes."

"Okay I will." And with that I ran out the door to my car. I needed to get to that hospital as fast as I possibly could. I needed to see him and see how bad everything was. All the way over I prayed that everything would be okay.

_A/N: I know horrible place to leave it. I'm moving on Saturday so I am going to try and get another chapter out before then but if I can't the next chapter won't be until mid week next week.  
_


	17. The One With the First Accident

Chapter 17: The One With the First Accident

_A/N: I hope people are still finding this story interesting! The reviews per chapter have kind of slowed down. But as long as the reviews I'm getting keep coming I'll try and keep writing as much as possible. _

_._

I couldn't even think straight on the way to the hospital. All I could picture was him lying in that hospital bed. I prayed that he was okay, he had to be. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't. I made it to the hospital in record time, I guess all the nights my dad ended up there helped in knowing the quickest routes to take. I ran to the front desk but before I could even ask what room he was in a saw a sea of blue. And wow. That was a lot of police officers in one place. Shouldn't the be out on the streets? You know protecting the innocent?

I guess my look of pure panic showed because next thing I know there was a man walking up to me. When he got close enough I noticed that his name tag said Shaw. I wished that Sam and I had talked about his work more because then maybe I would know who I should actually talk to!

Officer Shaw came slowly walking up to me, almost to make sure I wouldn't spook. It was kind of weird when I think about it.

"Considering the look on your face I'm guessing you're Andy?" Okay that was creepy...crazy cop instincts. I guess?

"Umm...yeah that's me..." Before I could ask him who he was he was kinda looking me up and down.

"Wow..."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh nothing..guess Sammy wasn't lying..." I didn't know if I should be creeped out or ...what? I'm hoping the smile that was slowly appearing on his face was a good thing? Basically I just really needed to see Sam because I didn't like all these new people just _staring_ at me.

"And you are?" I finally asked because he obviously wasn't offering up that piece of information on his own.

"Oh right sorry. I'm Oliver, we talked on the phone."

Of course. How did I not guess that one? He could tell just by seeing me who I was; I guess he probably knew Sam better than anyone. "Is Sam...is he okay?" I didn't want to know the answer but I had to ask. I just wanted to see him _so_ bad.

"He's in surgery now. He took a bullet in the chest and one in the arm. Sorry to be so blunt about this but I figured you know..since your dad is a Detective you're probably used to this kinda stuff?"

"Yeah it's fine. He's going to be okay though right?" Oliver had answered my question but not completely. I was hoping he wasn't doing that on purpose.

"Doctors are positive. They say he will just have to go to some rehab for the arm, apparently it hit an artery or something? Those doctors I think they just like to make us feel a little stupid with all their mumbo jumbo!

I couldn't help but let out a laugh. I could tell Oliver was the comic relief, maybe that's why they clicked so well? They evened each other out. It was good to meet someone from Sam's life, even if it was under horrible circumstances. "How long has he been in surgery?"

"Just since I called you. They said it could be awhile. You are more than welcome to come and sit with us. We are all just kind of waiting it out."

I didn't know what to do. I mean sure I wanted to be here for him but I also knew that Nathan needed me. Why was my life faced with so many hard decisions lately? "I don't know..I feel like I should get back home to Nathan?"

"Don't worry about him, Zoe's got him. Trust me she lives for that kind of stuff. He will want to see you when he's out." Oliver smiled at me and put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me over to where all the other cops were. Even though I had just met Oliver I felt as if I could trust him completely. Like he was the one who was always looking out for Sam and for that I was grateful.

I waited with all for them for quite a while, I even lost track of time. I couldn't tell if only a few minutes had passed or hours because it felt like years. The doctor came and told us that he was out of surgery and should make a full recovery with time. I tried to hold it together when really all I wanted to do was fall to the ground and burst into tears. None of his friends really knew about us, well except maybe Oliver? So I tried to act like just a close friend instead of the girl who was overly and extremely in love with him. A lot of the officers left after they heard he would be okay, they told Oliver to keep them updated.

The doctor said that he would be in the ICU for a couple of hours so he would have time to recuperate and then they would move him to a regular room. So basically I couldn't see him for a few more hours because I wasn't 'family'. Which I thought was pretty damn stupid! I lived with the guy and his son called me mama! How much closer to I need to be? Oliver tried to persuade the doctor to let me go back and see him and for that I was grateful but it didn't work. Apparently they were pretty strict about the 'rules' which okay fine, whatever. I'll sit here for two more hours and then go and see my man!

Oliver was able to flash his badge and get back there, he told me that he would tell Sam I was out here waiting. He wasn't gone for long though, I guess he didn't just want me sitting out here alone? I think I loved Oliver a little bit already!

When the nurse came out to tell us that he had been moved and that one visitor to go back at a time I turned and looked at Oliver. I desperately wanted to go back and see him, I had been waiting FOREVER! And I was about to completely lose it if someone didn't let me see him. Once again Oliver must have noticed the look on my face. "You go ahead and go. I told him that Zoe was watching Nathan so I'll go back to Sam's house to help. Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

I was relieved. I was finally going to be able to see him. "Thank you so much Oliver. For everything."

"Anytime Andy. I have a feeling you're going to be around for awhile." I smiled at that. He had such a calming presence about him. No one could make feel as safe as Sam could but something about Oliver. He just had a fatherly outlook on everything.

The nurse showed me to his room and I slowly opened the door. As soon as I closed it behind me his head turned and he locked eyes with me. He looked the same as he always did, just with a very big bandage wrapped around his upper arm and one wrapped around his chest. But semantics...he was okay. He was still here and he wasn't going anywhere.

I couldn't bring myself to speak. I didn't know what to say, I was trying to hold it together and not be a complete girl about this! Luckily he always knew what was going on with me before I even had to say it so he was the first one to speak. "Hey you...you gonna stand over there all day?"

I couldn't manage to do anything but shake my head and basically run over to him. I needed to touch him, make sure he was really still here. When I reached him I sat on the side of his bed and began to plant kisses all over his face. Finally landing on his lips. He kissed me back, kissed me like that first time. With so much passion and need. I lost myself in the kiss so much so that I managed to put all my weight on his injured side.

"Ow...broken ribs..broken ribs."

I leaped off of him. "Oh god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you. Oh my god I'm so stupid." I was pacing back in forth I heard his chuckle behind me and whipped my head around. "What?"

"You're kinda rambling and no you didn't hurt me. Get back over here." Did he really find all my craziness cute? That was impossible...wasn't it?

"Sam I can't you're _hurt_."

"So what McNally. Get back over here."

I walked back over to him and gently laid down next to him. I was curled up against his uninjured side. My head resting on his good shoulder Which is probably what I should have done in the first place..I guess I just couldn't think straight. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah Andy. This is perfect."

"You really scared me today..." I didn't want to sound completely vulnerable but I also wanted him to know how much he meant to me. I needed him to know how completely lost I would be without him.

I felt him give me a soft kiss on my head and squeeze me just a little bit tighter. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll do my best to stay out of these situations from now on." He began to rub soothing circles on my back. Trying to calm me and at the same time tell me that he wasn't going anywhere if he had anything to say about it.

"That would be much appreciated." I smiled and turned my head and kissed his neck.

"How's Nathan?"

"He was fine when I left. Zoe came by to watch them, I hope that's okay? I didn't know what to do..." It didn't even cross my mind that Sam would want me to stay at home with Nathan.

"You didn't do anything wrong Andy. He knows Zoe, he should be fine."

"Do you want me...do you want me to go and get back home?" I didn't want to ask, I wanted to stay here with him all night. But I couldn't do that to Nathan. He needed to keep some normalcy in his life.

"In a little bit. Can we just stay like this for a few more minutes?"

I smiled, I couldn't help it. It was obvious that he felt the same way about me that I did about him. "Yeah...we can do that."

I wasn't sure how much time had passed but I had obviously fallen asleep in his arms because next thing I know the nurse came in to check on Sam. I could hear her asking him if he wanted something from the cafeteria to be brought up to him for dinner. Thing is I already felt like I knew everything about him and I knew for a fact he was not the kind of person who enjoyed hospital food...who did? I slowly opened my eyes after I heard him decline the offer and heard the door shut behind her.

"I can go get you something to eat if you want? You need to eat something."

He kissed my forehead before answering. "I already have Ollie on it. He called a few minutes ago when you were so politely drooling on my shoulder. Attractive McNally."

Well thats embarrassing. I figured he had probably fallen asleep also but apparently not...of course not he's Sam! He lives to find new ways to make me blush - which yeah that was definitely happening right now. I hid my face in his neck and I guess he could tell I was embarrassed because he spoke again. "I'm just kidding Andy, you're cute."

I smiled. I wasn't used to his spontaneous compliments yet but I was loving them more and more. But wait..if Oliver or 'Ollie' (I mean really what was with these two!) ...anyways who was going to have Nathan if he was here? "Sam..."

"Hmm?"

"If Oliver is bringing you food then who is going to be watching Nathan?"

"He and Zoe are bringing him with him. I didn't want him to worry when I didn't come home tonight." Right of course. That would have been a hard conversation to have and I'm pretty relieved that I didn't have to be the one to do it. Oliver and Zoe seemed like the perfect parents, always knew what to say.

"How long are you going to be in here?" To say I didn't want to stay in his house without him was an understatement.

"Couple days. Doc said that it will take awhile until I can be back on the streets so I guess I'll be riding the desk for awhile."

"I'm sure you'll love that." If there was one thing that Sam hated it was not being in the middle of everything. He loved the action, that was obvious.

"It'll be fine, nice change of pace."

"I don't want to leave you..." There I said it. What I had been wanting to say since I woke up in his arms. I just wanted to stay here with him, he shouldn't be alone.

He tightened his hold on me and pushed my hair off me face. He tilted my head so that I was eye to eye to him. "I'm fine and I need you to be home to take care of Nathan, okay?"

"You shouldn't be alone right now..."

I heard him take out a deep breath. I was barely holding it together, I could feel tears on the brim of falling. "Hey...I'm okay, I promise. And I won't be alone there are a ton of nurses who get to deal with me. Then when I get home you can be my hot little nurse."

Of course, during a serious moment he would say something like _that_. "Sam!" I lightly swatted his chest and couldn't help but laugh. "I'm gonna come back here tomorrow though, I can bring Nathan if you want. But I'm not going to let you just be here all day by yourself."

"I think that'll be fine sweetheart."

I laid my head back down on his shoulder. I had never been one for cuddling but with Sam it was all I wanted to do. I felt so safe in his arms. "I'm gonna miss you." Cause yeah lets sound a little bit more desperate shall we!

"I bet..who's going to get you out of bed in the morning!"

"Hey! I get out of bed just fine when people actually let me get a full nights sleep!"

"Well I am just very sorry about that McNally, I'll never let it happen again."

"No!" I whipped my head up and looked at him, he had that smirk on, like 'gotcha'. Like I said, he loved making me blush. "Think you're real funny don't you."

"Well yeah-I am awesome!" He leaned in to kiss me then and god that mouth! I could get lost in that mouth and those lips. It was like the whole world faded away when ever I kissed him and we had only been doing whatever it was we were doing for less than 24 hours!

His hand grasped the back of my head and pulled me so I was half on top of him. His injured arm held my waist, keeping me exactly where I was. He broke away from my mouth and moved to my neck. And wow..just WOW! He was definitely going to leave a mark. I was moaning I couldn't help it, my hands were running through his hair. Trying to make sure he kept doing exactly what he was doing. I felt his hand run down my back and move underneath my shirt. He was running his thumb underneath the wire of my bra. And okay..I needed to get ahold of this situation! His hospital issued pants was definitely not hiding what this was doing to him and someone could walk in at any moment.

"Sam.." And okay that might have come out in the middle of a moan but totally not my fault.

"Hmm?"

"We...we need...oh god!" I couldn't form a thought and it probably had something to do with his hand that was underneath my shirt 10 seconds ago not making its way inside my pants.

"Something you needed McNally?"

I tried to stop him I did. I made a very valuable effort but when his hand was down there, and rubbing _there _-it made things a little foggy. And its possible I missed him today, this is definitely not how I thought the day was going to end. Because hello...getting felt up in a hospital bed is totally not every girls dream! "Sam! Oh my god..just oh god..don't stop pleaseee!"

"So I shouldn't stop then?"

As soon as he finished his question I felt his two fingers slide in so its possible my "No" came out sounding a little breathy. Think Marilyn Monroe after swallowing sand.

And god this was so new. I knew he had more experience than me, I mean obviously! But I never imagined it to feel like this. With his fingers pumping in and out and his injured arm running soothingly up and down my side. And that mouth was still sucking on my neck! All those things together was definitely making me lose it. I mean how was I not supposed to?

I could feel myself start to clench around his fingers. And shit-I was already almost there! "Sam..I'm gonna..god Sam I need to..." I couldn't even say it cause you know inexperienced teenager here and apparently she can't tell the guy who's fingering her that she needs to come!

"Come on sweetheart...I got you. Just like that. You're perfect."

He kept on muttering sweet nothings in my hear and his voice...all husky and comforting. Well I'm pretty sure I could get off by just listening to his voice! I was barely hanging on the edge and when I finally let go it felt AMAZING..like wow. Older men were definitely the way to go! I mean I always thought I would marry a guy who was my same age, you know meet him college and get married after we graduate but I was definitely, totally and completely wrong!

I collapsed on him after I came down. I couldn't move. I was in complete and total heaven at the moment. I felt his hand come out of my pants and began rubbing my back slowly up and down. And then it dawned on my. He was hard- like painfully so. I sat up and kissed him on the lips and then began to move down.

"You're turn."

I heard him let out a quick chuckle, it was there and then gone; almost like he was embarrassed at the thought of me..doing that. "Andy..you don't have to do that."

"I want to...just Sam let me."

The thought that someone could literally walk in any second and see me giving him a blow job crossed my mind for all about two seconds...two seconds until I pulled him out through his pants and heard _that_ groan.

"Fuck Andy.." He grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled it into a top knot on the top of my head. I felt his fingers on my jaw feeling me swallow him. I hadn't done this very often only a handful of times. When I thought about it I should feel insecure being with Sam but I didn't; I couldn't. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the room and when he made sounds like he was well all my insecurities went straight out the window.

I got into a rhythm and quickly discovered what he liked. Whenever he felt my jaw relax I could feel him push down a little on my head. And that well that was a new experience. Him teaching me exactly what he wanted - just _wow_. I don't think I could ever get tired of this.

I could feel him throbbing in my mouth and knew he was close. The grip he had on my hair tightened. I licked from the base to the tip. Focusing on the underside, I quickly discovered what exactly made him twitch. I wrapped my hand around his base and sucked slowly on the tip.

"Andy..shit. You gotta..fuck. I'm gonna..."

So apparently I wasn't the only one who couldn't form a complete thought in these kind of situations. I swallowed him whole again and that's when I got him. I tasted his release in my mouth and I actually swallowed it..like all of it. Something I had NEVER done before. It actually wasn't as gross as I always assumed it was. I rested my head on his hip, completely worn out. "So that just happened."

I felt him begin to pull me up with his good arm. "Get up here."

"Kay." I quickly crawled up him and landed on his uninjured side. He turned his head to kiss me, it was the sweetest kiss I think I have ever experienced. Everything with Sam surprised me...every look, every caress and definitely every kiss.

Before we had even pulled ourselves together I heard a knock on the door and before we could even answer the door flew open. There stood Oliver, just waltzing in saying, "Sammy you're servant has arrived." There was no telling what Sam and I looked like. I flew myself off the bed, basically rolling off of it and at the same time I went thud on the floor I heard a muffled 'OW Oliver!' outside the door. That voice sounded very much like Zoe's and thank god Oliver acted quick and didn't let Nathan come in first! That was way to close.

I pulled myself together on the floor, made sure that I looked somewhat decent and then stood up. Oliver was looking at Sam with this smile that was a little unnerving to see. I didn't have time to contemplate what it really meant because Zoe was walking in with Nathan in her arms.

"Mama! Mama!" Nathan had his arms outstretched reaching for me. As I walked over to take him from Zoe I caught another one of Oliver's looks. Only this one was directed at me. I thought Zoe gave me a weird look earlier, yeah Oliver pretty much beater her by a long shot! I could already tell that Oliver was one of those people who could just look at you and you knew what he was thinking. He didn't even have to say anything. Which okay..that kind of made my stomach do some flip flops. When I finally reached Zoe Nathan was pretty much ready to jump out of her arms.

"Hey buddy...how was your day?"

"Mama...you never came back. You said you would come back." I saw his lip quiver and it broke my heart. Nathan acted so mature for his age that I forgot he was only two, you couldn't just say things to him and then not follow through.

"I'm sorry baby. I was with your Daddy. But I'm here now and I will never do that to you again, okay? You and me we're gonna spend lots and lots of time together the next couple of days."

"Okie doke." He actually already had a little smile on his face. The fact that it took that little to cheer him up was a miracle.

"Do you wanna see your Daddy?" Nathan perked up at that one and abruptly turned in my arms.

"Daddy..." And just like that his arms were outstretched to Sam. This kid..he basically wanted anyone and everyone. I say him down on the hospital bed next to Sam.

"Hey dude. Did you have a good time with Aunt Zoe and Uncle Oliver?" That's when it became apparent to me, just how close Zoe and Oliver were to Sam. If Sam trusted them then they couldn't be that bad. They were actually really helpful with everything that went on today!

"Yep! Aunt Zo-zo took me to get fro-yo!" Sam turned, looked at me and laughed. I guess he knew that there was only one person who could of taught him the phrase 'fro-yo' and that would be me. What it's cute! He's two and he yells for fro-yo! I just rolled my eyes at him and smiled. Nathan must have finally noticed the huge bandage wrapped around Sam's torso and shoulder because his smile turned into a frown. "Daddy...you have a boo-boo!"

"I'm going to be just fine buddy. It's just a little scratch, daddy's clumsy." Sam was so good with him, he knew exactly what to say to calm him down in a matter of seconds.

"You should get mama to kiss it to make it better! She's really good at it! Whenever I get a boo boo she makes it all better."

I think if it was possible my jaw would have hit the floor. Something to remember about two year olds...they have no filter whatsoever! I heard Oliver cackling and saw Zoe elbow him in the ribs to make him stop. Sam's mouth must have gone dry because I saw him swallow a couple of times and then he just looked up at me and gave me this look like 'what the hell am I supposed to say' so yep...that means me to the rescue!

"Baby..why don't you give daddy kisses..I bet your kisses will work the same way mine do!"

"But mama..yours is a superpower!"

"I bet yours is too buddy. Go ahead..try it."

Nathan leaned over Sam and gave him quick little kisses on his bandages. It was probably the cutest thing I had seen in a while. Sam couldn't help but smile, he looked up at me and winked. Great now I'm blushing!

"Better daddy?"

"Definitely! You made it all better...thanks Nate."

"Welcome...I's hungry!"

Zoe stepped forward. "I guess that's my cue. We brought enough for all of y'all. Nathan wanted to eat with the two of you so we got some stuff for him too. Hope that's okay?"

Sam grabbed the bag of food from her. "Yeah that's fine Zo. Thanks."

"Well we will just leave y'all to it then. Andy you have a car here right?"

"Yeah I'm good, thank you Zoe. You have no idea how much your help meant to me today."

"Anytime sweetheart...Oliver let's get out of their hair." Zoe began to pull Oliver out the door until he finally spoke up.

"Sammy...me and you...penny next week. We're gonna have a talk."

"Yeah yeah..whatever you say Ollie."

"And Andy...it was truly a pleasure to meet you. I'll see you both tomorrow." What was I supposed to say to that? A pleasure...what did that even mean? So I just smiled and nodded my head.

"Bye Ollie." Sam had a tone that was pretty funny to hear, almost like he was talking to an annoying family member that he couldn't get rid of.

"I'm leaving." And with that they were out the door. Finally it was just the three of us; the way I always wanted it to be.

.

_A/N: Longer chapter! Yay! Hope y'all like this chapter! It just kept going and going until finally I just decided to cut it off here. I know I have Nathan speaking in like compound sentences at the age of two so from now on just picture him as a really mature 2 year old or a 4 year old. Because let's face it I can't write baby talk! It always comes out sounding very strange. So he will just be the really cute, blunt, mature two year old. (: _


	18. The One With the First PDA

Chapter 18: The One With the First PDA

It had been a week since Sam's accident and he was getting released today. Nathan and I had spent basically every day and night at the hospital. Nathan was more than happy to spend that much time with his daddy and lets face it so was I. Whenever one of Sam's friends from the force would show up Nathan and I would go to the cafeteria or go walk around the courtyard. I didn't want to impose and after all the looks that Oliver was shooting my way I wasn't sure if I could handle any more.

I had woken Nathan up two hours ago. We were both sleeping in a little later because of the busy days we had been having and with Sam not going to work there was no reason to get up. We had gotten up at 8:30 today and had already eaten breakfast. Now we were on our way to the hospital.

The nurse, some girl named Monica...who had basically been my angel this week told me last night that Sam should be getting discharged at noon. I was anxious, like really truly excited to have him under the same roof again! So Nathan and I were doing the same thing we had been doing for a week straight now, we were driving the very familiar route to the hospital. It would probably be 11:00 by the time we got there so that would give us an hour to get Sam ready to leave. A lot of stuff had accumulated into his room over the last week. Everyone had been bringing balloons, flowers and cards. Not that Sam really cared, he did appreciate everyone's concern but he thought it was just a waste of money. Some of Nathan's toys had also made its way into the hospital room. It just made it easier instead of having to pack them up and bring them everyday to and from. So basically we had made that hospital room our little home for the last week. Considering where ever Nathan and Sam were I thought of as my home now it wasn't such a difficult thing to do.

"Mama can we stop and get some juice puh-wease!" This had also become a little ritual of ours. We walked right through the cafeteria on our way to Sam's room and Nathan had managed to get everyone wrapped around his little finger! Whenever I told Sam about Nathan's ways with the ladies he would just gave me one of his big dimpled smiles and cracked it up to the 'Swarek charms'. Which apparently is a real thing? It worked on me, I guess! So every morning we would stop and get him so juice, of his choice, which usually ended up in a fifteen minute debate of which sounded the best. It probably didn't help that they had every juice known to man. I mean what is 'cran-apple'? I sure as hell didn't know until this week but yeah that shit is AMAZING!

"Sure baby but you can't take long today we need to get up to daddy okay?"

"Okie doke..I's be fast for you mama!"

"Thanks buddy." I swear if it was possible for a child to get more adorable each day then Nathan had it mastered. Everyday he surprised me with something new, we could be doing absolutely nothing and I fall in love with him a little bit more. Basically I love my little man...like ALOT!

So we get to the hospital and Nathan gets his juice. Orange-banana today...I mean seriously who comes up with this stuff? And now we were on our way up the stairs to see Sam.

Nathan went bursting through the door, as usual. "Daddy daddy! Mama said you get to come home today!"

"That's right dude, things will be going back to normal in not time...hey you.."

Seriously a 'hey you' was making me blush! Was I ever going to be able to control myself around him? "Hi." I smiled at him, I couldn't help it. "Did everything go okay last night and this morning?"

"Yes. Andy I'm fine. They already told me that I should be leaving in less than an hour. Stop worrying so much."

Nathan leaned up and whispered something in Sam's ear and then we he was done Sam immediately started laughing.

"Y'all are making fun of me again aren't you?" This had become a thing between them. They liked to team up against me until one of them caved and finally told me what the other one said.

Sam chuckled. "Never, what would make you think that?"

"Sam! Tell me what he just said to you..." I reached under the covers and squeezed his ankle, I guess he wasn't expecting it because his foot twitched. So then I started running circles around his ankle bone. The last week had been little to no contact between us..except for that first day we hadn't done anything. With Nathan always around it made it difficult because we didn't want him to see us. We wanted to make sure things were serious and real between us before we went around flaunting it in front of a two year old. The last thing we wanted to do was hurt him if things didn't work out.

"Nathan, tell Andy what you just said to me." I loved when Sam used that tone, it was all superior and demanding and if it didn't get her a little turned on she'd be lying.

Nathan turned around with a very cute smile, obviously trying to get out of telling me what he said to Sam. Sam gave him a pat on the back, telling him to get going with it. "You worry so much cause you're a mama! That's your job...duh." I gave him a disapproving look and then he came out with this. "You're so pretty mama...b-e-a-UTIFUL! Don't you think so daddy?"

Sam looked up at me and winked, "she definitely is buddy."

Before I could even stop blushing because wow - these two boys were just too much to handle - the nurse came in with the discharge papers.

"I just need you to sign these Sam and then you should be able to go home." Monica was so helpful! I mean seriously, I was a little jealous at first because hello! Hot nurse is basically every mans fantasy but then Sam informed me that he only had eyes for one sexy nurse and that was the one who would be taking care of him once he got home - so yeah that led to some more blushing. Basically I have no need for actual blush anymore because my cheeks are pretty much red 24/7.

"Nate come sit with me while Daddy signs the papers and then we can go home." Sam looked a little helpless, what with one arm and Nathan practically sitting on him. I knew Sam would never tell him to move, so I figured I would give him an easy out.

"Okie doke." Sam shook his head as Nate jumped down, every time Nathan said that I either got an eye roll or a shake of the head but whatever it was still cute!

Monica turned and looked on as Nathan climbed up into my lap. "I'm going to miss y'all around here. Things won't be the same but I understand that you are definitely excited to get things back to normal."

I got Nathan situated on my lap and looked up at her. "We definitely are, we will miss you too, but I have to say I'm kind of happy about not having to go to a hospital every day!"

"I completely get that..not many people are. Well come by and visit anytime, just try not to make it too often okay?" She looked at Sam and gave him a look that said 'be more careful'.

Sam chuckled. "Trust me, I hope to not be back for quite a while."

I let out a deep breath at that. This last week had definitely been stressful. I was happy to be taking him home and hopefully not having to come back for a long long time.

"Well it looks like everything is done here. I'll just go get a wheelchair and then you should be all set."

Sam's jaw dropped. "Seriously? A wheelchair..you have got to be kidding. I think I can walk, I'm not 90 years old!"

Monica just shook her head and kept walking, "Hospital policy, deal with it Swarek." Yep. pretty much loved her!

While Monica went to get the wheelchair, I packed everything up and Sam went and changed in the bathroom. We were really getting to leave, I never thought this day would come!

On our way out we said our goodbyes, which took quite a while. Nathan basically said goodbye to every person he walked by, rather he knew them or not. He would just wave and say 'bye bye' over and over again! When we got to our car I put Nathan in his car seat and thankfully Monica had already told Sam that he was not to drive so I didn't have to deal with that one. Once I got Nathan all situated I closed his door and was about to walk around to the driver side when Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me closer.

"Hey beautiful." He leaned in to kiss me but I put a hand on his chest to push him away.

"Sam..Nathan is right there!"

"He can't see us, plus he's too busy playing with his new toy..which seriously McNally can you ever say no to him?"

I laughed, I did kind of spoil Nathan! "What he's my baby..and he really wanted it!"

"Ugh! Whatever...now let me kiss you damn it." He grabbed my waist and pulled me forward and kissed me, like really kissed me. "There that should last me till I get home."

"Oh and what happens when we get home? Because I think it's lunch and then you taking a nap."

"Come on McNally its been a week!"

I couldn't help but laugh at his frustration, it was adorable. "You do realize that there is a two year old to watch also right?"

"Not when he takes his nap...and then me and you can take our own kind of nap."

"God. You're such a dork, you know that?"

"You like it."

"You're delusional, not get in the car so I can take you home!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Like a said..such a dork." I walked around to the other side of the car and got in. Just when I was about to drive off Sam grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers. I looked over at him and he gave my hand a gently squeeze. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm perfect."

And that's how we drove home, our hands interlocked resting on the console with _our_ son sitting in the back seat. If this was how I spent the rest of my life I would be the happiest person in the world.

_A/N: Hopefully this will tide y'all over! This chapter was supposed to be much longer but I decided to cut it off here. Luckily I already have some of the next chapter written so it shouldn't be too long between updates! _


	19. The One With the First Heartbreak

Chapter 19: The One With the First Heartbreak

_A/N: So wow..that last episode! Who else spent the last 10 minutes crying? My fiance thought there was actually something wrong with me and when I started rambling about what was going on he just laughed at me! I am WAY TOO attached to these characters..oh well (: Now for some happy times! _

Once we got home I made both of my boys lunch, which hello...if there was an award for being domestic I would totally win! I got Sam to relax on the couch while I went and put Nathan down for a nap. He insisted he could do it and that I should take a break but I was having none of that. I could tell he was still hurting the way he handled himself and I wasn't going to have him carry Nathan upstairs and put him down when I was more than capable to do it myself.

It didn't take long, after Nathan ate he was usually out within an hour...one reason I always made sure to have his belly nice and full! Made my life SO much easier. When I came downstairs I heard the TV softly playing in the background. I figured Sam was watching some weird show on the History channel, which seriously? There are other channels! But when I turned the corner I saw him sprawled out on the couch passed out. I tip-toed over to him and grabbed the blanket off the chair. I draped the blanket over his body, trying not to wake him. I ran my hand through his hair, much like I did Nathan's when I was trying to make him feel safe and placed a kiss on his forehead.

Only when I stood up to walk over to the chair and get ready for a couple of hours of productive channel flipping he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"Where are you going?"

"I was gonna go and sit in the chair, you need to rest. And you were just sleeping 30 seconds ago you know."

"I was just resting my eyes." He gave me one of those sly smiles and I saw right through it.

"Yeah right, you were kind of starting to snore.." I loved being this close to him. There was such a familiarity between us; something that I had never felt before.

He let out a gasp and put a hand over his heart, "You hurt me McNally."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that big ego of yours is totally damaged now."

He had his hand grasped around my waist keeping me sitting right next to him. He began to rub his hand up and down my side. "Come to bed with me..."

"Will you promise to take a nap if I go in there?"

"Maybe...well eventually I mean."

I leaned down and rested my hand on his chest. I was mere inches away from his lips when I repeated him in a soft whisper. "Eventually." And then I kissed him, what I had been waiting to do since we got home. I would by lying if I said that I wasn't a little disappointed to find him sleeping on the couch when I came back downstairs.

"So is that a yes then?"

"Sam, you heard the doctor. You're not supposed to put any extra weight on your arm." It was true, the doctor did say that. I was just hoping that he would want me bad enough to come up with a different way.

"We can be creative, come on it'll be fun McNally. Where's your sense of adventure?" And okay that didn't take long at all.

"Really. My sense of adventure..that's my problem?"

"Yep."

"Oh I'll show you adventure, come on Grandpa...off to bed."

"Think you're real clever huh? You are the one that likes the older ones."

I pushed him back towards his bedroom kissing him ever other step. "You're right I do..." And with that I shut the door behind me.

I pushed him down onto the bed, quickly discarded our clothing and climbed on top of him. I interlaced our fingers and pushed them above his head.

"McNally."

"Hmmm" I was busy kissing up and down his neck, why was he always talking during times like this?

"You going to let me have my arms back now?"

"Thinking about it..."

"You're thinking about it? I think it would be in your best interest if you let go now."

I was rubbing up and down his length and the friction it was making was just -_wow_. "Sam.." And okay that came out sounding more like a moan but I had little to no control left and the fact that I was the one who had to set the pace of this whole thing was a little hard at the moment.

"McNally...sweetheart," I could feel him moving his arms trying to get loose from my grip, which was become looser by the second. "Let me help you."

And god..._let me help you.._he was trying to kill me. I let go of his wrists, "Mmmhmm..okay." I hid my face where his neck met his shoulder, which was already becoming my favorite spot. His hands immediately went to grasp my ass. He lifted me up and guided me back down, sliding himself inside me. And okay he was not lacking like _at_ _all_. I felt bad for my high school boyfriend now, well and for his present girlfriend!

"Sam..." I was moaning like a porn actress and my hands were squeezing his shoulders. I couldn't form words, my brain had gone to complete mush.

"It's okay sweetheart..I got you." And okay I don't know what part of that sentence I liked more. I guess the sweetheart thing was going to stick, which Sam Swarek calling me sweetheart. I didn't think that I would ever live to see the day that happened! But the other part of that sentence, 'I got you'..he really did, he had all of me, completely. More than I let anyone else see. Now in the more literal meaning of those three words meant that he was the one guiding me up and down his dick..so..who really knows.

He moved one hand off of my waist and went to rub circles over my stiff nub. And okay that sent some sensations all the way through my thighs. Just _wow _- he knew my body more than I did. He knew exactly what to do, how much pressure to put and how to move his fingers. Basically he was just stupidly good at sex! More than I ever could of imagined.

He bent his head down and yeah he was at the perfect spot to - yep. He swirled his tongue around my nipple before gently biting down. He still had one hand between my legs and the other guiding me up and down. Now his mouth was doing that. It was too much, it was all just way too much.

"Sam...I..I - ohfuckohfuckohfuck!" I literally couldn't even put three words together. My body was completely convulsing, I could feel myself clenching on him and I knew that he was feeling it also because he began to shove up a little bit harder each time. He put my nipple between his teeth and _tugged_. "FUCK!"

He liked that I knew he did, he used his other hand to rub up and down my side. Making me do move all on my own, something I was having a little trouble doing at the moment. Sam could obviously tell my hesitation and the difficulties I was having because immediately he brought both hands back down to my waist. He pulled me down onto him and held me there, with him being insanely deep. I could feel him throbbing inside and god the angle we were at..well it was hitting me in the _perfect _spot. "Sam..I need - god I need to..please Sam...please!"

"Come on McNally...come for me." And just like that I did, like all I was waiting for was his position. Before it was over he began pulling in and out of me, dragging it out a little. Which okay, he was way to considerate in bed! Weren't guys supposed to be incredibly selfish and just get what they want? I guess when you find the right one that actually cares about you as much as you care about them then it works.

I went completely limp after. I was basically just laying on top of him like a dead fish. The way I was laying, legs sprawled out and stomachs touching got him _insanely _deep. "McNally..shit!" Oh right! Wow so apparently when I am completely worn out all thoughts go out the window, especially ones that include Sam probably being completely miserable at the moment. I had my head tucked in his neck again so I turned and began to suck on his pulse point. Well that woke him up because pretty soon he was grasping my hips with more force than he had all night and shoving me up and down his length. I nipped and sucked until I felt his back arch off the bed. I barely moved on my own the whole time, luckily Sam had much more strength than me.

"You're amazing you know that?" I loved the compliments he gave me after sex. He was so much more open than he usually was. But it still definitely made me blush!

"Sam..." It came out a lot more whiny than I had intended but whatever I was embarrassed. And I was currently hiding in his neck where he couldn't see my rosy red cheeks. That was until he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me up so that I was eye to eye with him.

"I'm serious. You take care of my kid like he's your own. You are the most selfless person I have ever met, you're beautiful and..."

"I love you." Oh fuck! Did that really just come out of my mouth? Oh my god, I did not mean to say that! Shit shit shit... "Shit Sam, I didn't mean to say that so soon! Oh my god..I'm so embarrassed!"

I squeezed my eyes shut so I couldn't see the look that I knew he was probably giving me at the moment. I heard him laugh and okay I pretty much wanted the world to open up and swallow me whole at that exact moment. But then he started rubbing up and down my back. "You know if you ever let me finish a sentence you wouldn't be so embarrassed right now.."

I opened one eye, only one! And looked at him. He had the most adorable smile on his face. "Huh?"

"Well Andy, I was getting to that part if you would've let me finish! But then you just went ahead and stole the words right out of my mouth."

Was he being serious? Did he mean what I thought he meant or was he just making fun of me? "Really?"

"God Andy, yes. I love you. Who wouldn't?"

"A lot of people.." It was true, I had definitely faced a good amount of rejection!

"Well they are all fucking idiots. You are perfect for me and I love you just the way you are...okay?"

God I swear my cheeks were going to be stained red! I was smiling like a complete and total idiot but then again so was he. "Okay." He pulled me forward and kissed me, my lips, cheeks, forehead, neck, everywhere. Anywhere he could get his mouth on was getting kissed. And then I felt him become hard inside of me again and just like that we were going at it again. It was different this time. Like we had finally accepted what this was between us and that we were both in it for the long haul. It felt AMAZING! I couldn't keep my mouth off of him for more than two seconds. It's like I needed him to be able to breathe. I loved him and he loved me. And there was an adorable two year old upstairs that I loved with my entire heart, more than I thought I could ever love another human being in my life.

After our second time of going at it like teenagers I was dead. I couldn't even move. Sam pushed me off of him only to pull me against his good side. I snuggled into his neck and before I had succumbed to sleep I heard him murmur, "I love you sweetheart," then he kissed my forehead and I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I couldn't of been asleep for long when I heard Nathan start crying out for me upstairs. I shot up in bed trying to get my bearings. Sam very calmly sat up next to me and pushed me back down. "Stay here, I'll get him."

"Sam, your shoulder."

"I can get him McNally, just rest. You've only been asleep for like 15 minutes."

I didn't want him to have to go get Nathan, he should of been resting. But I was so tired and his bed was so warm and comfortable. That I murmured an "mmhmm" before closing my eyes again. I heard Sam softly close the door and climb the stairs up to Nathan's room. Only then the cries got louder and louder, usually when Nathan saw Sam he immediately calmed down in a matter of seconds. But this was something different, my baby was crying and I wasn't there. I shot out of bad and frantically started looking for my clothes. I couldn't find them anywhere, who knew where they had ended up after we came into the room. The only thing I saw was Sam's shirt and a pair of his sweatpants draped over the back of the chair. I threw them on and sprinted up the stairs.

I turned the corner to Nathan's room and saw Sam desperately trying to calm him down but Nathan was having none of that. He was sitting in the rocking chair with Nathan's chubby arms wrapped tight around his neck, bawling. I walked over and ran my fingers through Sam's hair, he gave me a sad smile. Then I rubbed my hand up and down Nathan's back. Nathan immediately turned his head toward me and started crying harder. He reached his arms out to me while choking out "Mama" over and over again. I grabbed him out of Sam's arms and went and sat on his bed with him.

"Shh...baby. It's okay, everything is okay." I kept rubbing his back up and down and pressing kisses on his soft hair. Sam came and sat on the bed next to me and put his arm around me pulling me a little closer to his side. He placed a chaste kiss on my temple, he could tell that I was getting upset because of Nathan. He put his hand on my lower back, lifting my shirt up a little to get his hand on my skin. His thumb began to trace circles in a soothing motion. I turned my head toward him with watery eyes, he gave me one of his dimpled smiles trying to cheer me up. But it wasn't working, I could still hear Nathan choking out soft cries and I squeezed him a little tighter. A single tear fell down my cheek and Sam quickly used his thumb to brush it away. He leaned forward and whispered, "It's okay, he's okay." He placed a soft kiss on my lips and began rubbing up and down my back.

I could tell Nathan was finally calming down. His breathing was returning to normal. I heard him say "Mama" through his hiccups.

"Yeah baby?"

"Please don't leave me Mama, I'll be good I promise."

Well if that didn't break my heart then I don't know what could. "Oh baby, I'll never ever leave you. Okay..I promise."

He leaned back to look at me. "Pinky promise?"

I reached my hand up and grabbed his pinky with mine. "Pinky promise."

"Oh and Mama.."

"Yeah buddy?"

"You smell like Daddy." I heard Sam let out a laugh and I smiled at him. He was definitely an observant two year old! Nathan laid his head back down on my shoulder and tightened his hold around my neck. When I felt his breathing deepen I knew that he had probably fallen back asleep. I turned and looked at Sam.

"Well I guess you're stuck with us McNally, you did just pinky promise."

"Yeah I guess I am." I laid my head on his shoulder and he put his arms around both of us and held us tight against him.

_A/N: There will probably be only two more chapters after this. I have a lot coming up in the next few weeks and I want to get this story completed before then. But I may have a sequel in me if enough of y'all are interested. It probably wouldn't be for a couple of months though! As always please review (: I love them! _


	20. The One With the First Appearance

Chapter 20: The One With the First Appearance

_A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! They are definitely a muse for me (: And now for the next chapter..._

It had been three weeks since Sam was discharged from the hospital and he was almost completely back to normal. His bruises were almost gone on his chest and he was returning to active duty tomorrow. To say he was excited would definitely be an understatement, he had been in an amazing mood ALL day. Which okay the last month he was usually always in a good mood but this was different. It was like everything was going to be the way it was supposed to be all along.

The last three weeks had been perfect. Sam had been back at work for two weeks but only on desk. He would be home a little after four every day and we would just spend time as a family. We would watch movies, go swimming or just lay around doing absolutely nothing. I told him that he could go to the Penny some nights and I could stay home and watch nathan but he was having none of that. He wanted to be home with the two of us and I fell in love with him a little more each day. I was happier than I had ever been in my entire life and it was all because of the two boys that I couldn't live without.

We were currently laying on the couch, I had just put Nathan down for the night and came downstairs to find Sam watching 300. Which just happens to probably be my LEAST favorite movie in the world so I was doing my best to try and distract him from it. I was laying on top of him with his arms wrapped tight around my waist, his thumbs were moving in soothing circles massaging my lower back. My head was tucked underneath his chin until I lifted my head up and started playing with a loose stitch on his thermal.

"You ready for tomorrow?" I was allergic to silence okay! It was a problem or so Sam continuously told me.

"Hmm?" He turned his head to look at me and brought his hand up to brush my bangs out of my face. "Oh yeah, ready to get back out there." I guess he noticed that I wasn't really making eye contact with him and that I looked more than a little nervous because the next thing he said was, "Sweetheart, what's going on?"

"You're gonna...I mean...you'll be - um - okay..out there?" I felt my lip quiver the tiniest bit and I was determined to keep it together!

"Hey..I'm gonna be fine, nothing is going to happen to me, okay?"

I felt my tears burning in the back of my eyes. "You can't promise that, you could go out there and the same thing could happen and you might not be so lucky this time."

"McNally..I can't promise it but I can promise you this. I am going to dry my hardest to get home to you and that little boy upstairs every single day."

My lip was beginning to quiver a little bit more and my tears were barely staying at bay. So when I muttered his name tears started to fall. He pulled me down in the crook of his neck and started rubbing his fingers through my hair. He started whispering in my ear, "Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere for a very long time if I have anything to say about it."

I tightened my arms around his neck and softly muttered, "I just don't want anything to happen to you..." I pressed a kiss against his neck and said, "I can't have anything happen to you."

He tightened his hold on me and pressed a kiss against my temple. I basically melted into him not ever wanting to let go. Just wanting to stay like this for the rest of my life. "Shh...Andy, I'm right here."

I lifted my head and look directly at him and then I lowered myself down onto his lips and kissed him. As far as emotional kisses go, this was definitely high on the list. I poured everything I had been feeling recently into that kiss. And pretty soon we were acting like a couple of sixteen year olds making out on the couch. How we always got so intense so fast was beyond me but I absolutely loved it. I had never had this and to find it at such a young age was unbelievable. I never thought I could be this happy. "Sam..."

He was busy marking my neck but manage to get out a, "hmm?"

"Maybe we should...you know...bedroom?" Of course I couldn't form a complete sentence! I never could when he was around, doing things like _that_.

Thank god he actually understood what I was saying because he sat up with me in his lap and locked my ankles behind his back before standing up. Not once did he stop kissing my neck though. It was like he had tunnel vision and he couldn't take his lips off of me for a second.

Whenever we got to _our _room I reached for my shirt and ripped it off before he even had a chance to lay me down on the bed. I made quick work of his clothes, wanting to feel all of him as quick as possible. I shoved his boxers down with my feet and he gathered me into his arms and placed me in his lap. He reached for my shorts and I had to lean back on my hands for him to be able to get them off. Which he seemed to like that view because next thing I know his head is making its way up the inside of my thighs getting drastically closer to where I wanted him in that moment. My hands fisted in his hair trying to get him to move faster.

He looked up at me before saying, "Patience McNally.."

"Sam..don't tease me!" He must of got the hint that I really needed this because not two seconds went by and then his head was completely in between my legs. I could feel his tongue moving around and his fingers pumping in and out of me. I shoved my hips down towards his mouth looking for more friction. He moved up to my clit and started to like _suck...a lot_! And that was just like - WOW! It didn't take long after that when I felt my stomach muscles tighten and I started to twitch. I was about to let go when he completely stopped and moved up my body. "Sam! What the fuck...I was about to...!"

"I know McNally...couldn't let you get it that easy."

"You're mean."

"But you love me anyway."

I nodded my head slowly. "Yeah I really do." And any frustration I felt in that moment faded away immediately. I loved him. I completely and totally _loved _him and only him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs spread apart to make room for him. I could feel him pressing against my opening and the blunt pressure it was creating was making me see stars. Before I could say anything else he slid into me all at once. I heard him let out a low groan which made me arch into him.

I pulled his head towards my mouth so I could kiss him, like I had been wanting to do since we came into the bedroom. He was getting so deep and I had never recovered from tease that he just did to me so it didn't take long until I could once again feel my whole body begin to twitch. Sam could feel me starting to clench on him, he attacked my pulse point and started to suck, much like he had been doing to my clit not even ten minutes ago.

"Come on sweetheart, just like that. You're perfect." I loved when he whispered sweet nothings into my hear, his voice had such a rasp to it that it made me come every single damn time! My back arched off the bed and he drove me all the way through it, dragging out every possible second.

I had barely even stopped twitching when he started to move faster again. I knew he needed it about as bad as I did. I could feel him begin to throb inside of me. I kept on clenching around his cock knowing that he could feel it. His head was in the crook of my neck and I turned and bit his earlobe. "Love you...can't imagine my life without you in it."

All it took was two more pumps into me and I felt him release. He gripped my hips tight, pushing me down into the mattress as he came. I loved him being able to be on top again. His shoulder was healed enough so he could put his weight on it. I loved having him over me, consuming me, shoving me down into the mattress. I loved all of it and more importantly I loved him.

He rolled off of me and landed on his back. He reached for me and brought me to his side. "God you're amazing.."

I hid my face in his neck, I could feel the heat start to rise in my cheeks. "I really wish I would stop blushing every time you say something like that! It's getting really embarrassing!"

He grabbed my hair and pulled me out of my 'hiding spot' so he could see me. "Nah, I like making you blush."

I couldn't help but smile. He always knew the perfect thing to say at the moment I needed to hear it most. "You should probably get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."

"I can sleep in a little bit. I want to stay up with you."

I curled deeper into his side and he placed a kiss on top of my head. He was drawing random patterns on my back and it was soon lulling me into a deep sleep. I think that was what he wanted, me to go to sleep before him so he knew I wouldn't stay up worrying myself to death. I could feel myself begin to fall asleep and the last thing I heard was, "I can't imagine my life without you either." I fell asleep with a smile on my face, I couldn't remember a night where I hadn't fallen asleep that way ever since we started this.

I woke up the next morning to Sam's alarm going off. I was vaguely aware of him reaching over me to turn it off. He kissed my cheek and then got out of bed, much like he did every morning. He had become very accustomed to giving me my extra thirty minutes of sleep, maybe that didn't seem like a lot to you but it definitely was.

Usually Sam would go straight into the bathroom and go ahead and take his shower but today I heard his bedroom door open. Not wanting to be awake at this time I couldn't even bring myself to actually care about what was going on. I was _tired_. I must have dozed off in the time Sam was outside the room because I felt the bed dip just seconds later. I figured it was Sam so I didn't even bother opening my eyes but then I smelt that familiar baby smell and opened my eyes to see Nathan crawling towards me on the bed. I couldn't see anything because it was still so dark but I heard him sniffling.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Nathan didn't say anything, he just finished crawling up to me and curled into my side with his hand holding tight onto my shirt, well Sam's shirt actually. Which thank god I actually had it on!

I turned my head and gave Sam a worrisome look. Nathan had been getting upset a lot more lately and I did not like it one bit. He was supposed to be my happy two year old, he wasn't supposed to be so upset all the time. "Sam..what's going on?"

He kneeled down on the side of the bed and brushed my bangs out of my face. "I have no idea, he hasn't had this many nightmares for a long time. I don't know what's going on with him. I heard him crying when I woke up and when I went to get him he didn't even know what was going on. He just asked for you so I brought him down here."

Sam put his head down and rested it on my shoulder, hiding his face from me. I reached my hand behind me and scratched at the back of his neck. "Hey..you are a great dad, okay? And we will figure this out, you and me, together. I'm sure it's nothing, little kids have nightmares it's normal. This has nothing to do with you."

He looked up at me and I could have sworn that I saw tears in his eyes but he blinked and they were gone. "God, I love you Andy."

I pulled his head up to my face and kissed him. We couldn't get too carried away, you know with there being a two year old attached to my front. "I love you too, so so much. Now go get ready for work. You can't be late today." I gave him one more quick kiss and then rolled away from him so he would be forced to get up and go get ready.

I tightened my hold I had on Nathan and rubbed up and down his back. That seemed to be the thing that calmed him down almost immediately. I could tell he was already back asleep because his breathing had deepened. I placed a kiss on his forehead and let myself fall back asleep. Never once loosening my hold on my baby.

I felt the bed once again dip behind me. I opened my eyes to find Sam rubbing Nathan's hair. His eyes looked a little lost, almost like he wasn't really there. "Hey you.."

He turned and looked at me and tried his best attempt at a smile. "Hey beautiful, I have to leave..."

I turned to look at the clock, I couldn't believe it was already time for him to go. I usually had at least 30 minutes with him before he left. I guess he let Nathan and I both sleep a little longer than usual this morning. I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers. "You better come home to us."

He nodded his head and leaned over me. He gave Nathan a kiss on the forehead before hovering over me. "Always." He leaned down to kiss me and I could tell he was still upset about what had happened this morning. Usually I was the one wanting to fall apart but today I needed to be strong for him.

"Hey... he is going to be fine when he wakes up. If he's not you will be the first person I'll call." I reached up and laced my fingers through that thick hair of his and once again pulled him down to my lips. I hoped that through that kiss some of his worry would go away. I kissed the frown lines that were forming between his eyebrows. He buried his head in my neck and I felt him let out a deep breath. I lightly scratched my nails on his fingers, trying to comfort him the best way I could in our current situation. "Sam, you gotta go."

He turned his head and kissed the space behind my ear before whispering a soft, "I know." He lifted his head and started getting up to leave when I heard him say, "Take care of our son today." I couldn't help but smile, that was the first time he had ever referred to Nathan as _our _son.

"I will, I promise. Love you."

"Love you too. I'll talk to you later." Before he was even out the door I curled up next to Nathan again and quickly fell back asleep. Something about having his little warm body snuggled up into my side made sleep come that much faster.

We didn't wake up till a little after 9:00 and that was only because I felt Nathan jumping up and down on the bed yelling, "Mama..Mama!"

"Baby, don't jump on Daddy's bed. You know you're not allowed to." He quickly plopped himself down next to me. In the last few weeks Sam and I had become much more open in front of Nathan. I always spent the night in Sam's room, only going to mine to change and get ready for the day. Something about it seemed so natural. Like I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here with him.

"Whats we gonna do today Mama?"

"Well what do you want to do buddy?"

He tilted his head before getting a big smile on his face, "Park?"

"Then the park it is. Lets just eat first and then we can get ready to go."

"Okie dokie artichoke." That was also something I had said in front of him in the last couple of days. I made sure Sam wasn't around to hear me but when Nathan answered his father that way, well lets just say Sam's face was pretty priceless.

I laughed as I was getting out of bed and scooped Nathan up into my arms. I made his breakfast and got both of us ready. It was almost 10:30 by the time we got out the door.

We played at the park for about as long as usual. Until I could tell that Nathan's eyes were getting a little bit droopy. On our way back home I noticed Sam was calling me.

"_Hey sweetheart, everything going okay?" _

I loved him, I did. But sometimes he worried way too much! "Everything is perfect Sam, we just got done playing at the park."

"_Okay just checking..." _

I knew he wanted to say something else but was almost afraid of what my reaction was going to be. "What's going on?"

"_Okay...let me start with this was definitely NOT my idea..." _

"Okay?" I answered with a slight tone in my voice, a little curious and a little nervous.

"_Oliver has insisted that Nathan go over to his house tonight and that Zoe will watch him and you and me have to come to The Penny." _

"Sam, I don't really want to leave him...after this morning, I feel bad."

"_I know sweetheart, trust me. But Oliver won't get off my back and he already asked Zoe and Nathan is safe with her, I promise. I told him we would only stay till like 8 so we could go pick Nathan up and get back home early."_

"Are all your friends going to hate me?" I was a little nervous about all of the judgement that was probably going to be passed my way. I mean some 19 year old dating there friend, they had to be a little skeptical right?

"_Baby, no of course not. No one could ever hate you and if anyone even looks at you the wrong way we are out of there." _

"Okay as long as we don't stay too late then that is fine with me." I wanted to meet all of his friends. I really did, I just didn't want them to get the wrong impression of me.

"_I promise we will, 8 at the very latest. I doubt I even last till then." _

"Oh I forgot, you are an old man after all." It had become a joke between us, with our age difference and the way people looked at us when we were out. It was almost like they thought Sam was like 50 or something and I was some gold digger!

"_You're gonna pay for that McNally.." _

"Oh I'm counting on it.."

"_Are you talking dirty to me with our son in the back seat?" _

Twice in one day. God I loved him a little more every day. "Nope, never. So I'll see you when you get home?"

"_Uh yeah, we will probably leave a little before 6:00. That good?" _

"Yeah that's perfect. We're home babe so I'll see you then."

"_Okay see you then." _And with that he hung up the phone. Nathan was passed out in the backseat, not that Sam needed to know that. I tried to be as quiet as possible, if I could manage to get him inside and in his bed without waking him my life would be so much easier today!

I actually managed to get Nathan down with no problem at all. How I got upstairs and placed him in his bed without waking him was beyond me. I used the time that he was napping to go ahead and get ready for tonight. He usually woke up right around the time Sam came home and I didn't want to have to get ready then. I wanted to be able to spend some time with just Sam and Nathan before we had to go.

Like clockwork I heard Nathan yelling for me at the exact same time I heard Sam's truck pull up into the driveway. I went upstairs to get him and by the time I made it downstairs Sam was walking through the door. Sam immediately dropped his bag and came and grabbed Nathan out of my arms. Much like he did every other day.

"Hey buddy, how was your day?"

"So much fun daddy! Me and Mama went to the park and stuff!"

"Did you keep an eye on Mama?"

I heard Sam ask Nathan that question and immediately looked up from what I was doing to see Nathan's reaction. I didn't expect Nathan to nod his head and then say, "Yep. Just like you asked me to." I was definitely going to have to ask Sam about that one later.

"Hey babe?"

Sam walked into the kitchen with Nathan still wrapped in his arms. "Yeah?"

"Are we eating here or there tonight?"

"I doubt you want to eat there. I figured we could maybe go out to dinner before then, you know as a family."

"Yeah Mama! Out dinner! As a fam-A-llllyyyy!" The way Nathan said that was the most adorable thing in the world, almost like they had rehearsed it.

My smile only grew more and more. "That sounds absolutely perfect." I walked over to where they were standing and gave Nathan a kiss on the cheek before starting to walk away.

"Hey what about me?"

I was about to turn around and give him one of my sarcastic remarks but Nathan stepped in before I could, "I'm the baby dude!" I burst out laughing and walked away to finish what I was doing.

I heard Sam and Nathan playing in the living room. Nathan was dying laughing and it was definitely a good thing to hear. I finished getting ready and went to sit in the living room with my two favorite boys.

I plopped myself down onto to the couch and let out a deep breath. Sam turned to me with a worried look on his face. "Everything okay?"

I turned my face to him and gave him a big smile. "Yeah, everything is perfect."

I laid on the couch probably close to an hour just watching Sam and Nathan play and wrestle around on the floor. They were completely identical. All I saw when I looked at Nathan was Sam, even down to the dimples.

I looked at the clock above the TV and noticed that it was already almost 5:30. "Sam we should really probably leave or we are never going to make it to The Penny."

Sam must have not noticed the time either because he was up the next second and getting ready to go. "Are y'all both ready?"

"Yeah, just let me change his diaper one more time before we go."

"McNally, I can do that, you know."

"Yeah I know but I don't mind, we will be back down in a few." I ran upstairs with Nathan in my arms and changed him as fast as I could. I knew we were running really late and it would definitely have to be a quick dinner.

Not even 10 minutes later we were loading into his truck on our way. Our dinner was perfect, simple and low key but absolutely perfect. Sam held my hand in his lap the whole time and I loved the three of us being together. We really were becoming a family. More so than I could of ever hoped.

We dropped Nathan off at Zoe's and that was definitely not a fun thing to do. I didn't like leaving him, I had basically been spending every single minute with him the last month. Hardly ever letting him out of my sight. Sam could tell that I was a little upset about leaving Nathan because when we got back into the truck he immediately grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"We are going to come pick him up in just a couple of hours. He will be fine and Oliver told Zoe to call if he was upset about absolutely anything."

"I know, I know. I just don't like leaving him."

He pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckles and just like that I was a little less upset. Just having him around made everything better. "So about tonight, you already know Oliver so don't worry about him. There is just Jerry and Noelle and maybe Frank if his wife lets him get away. She's a little crazy."

"Sam! That's not nice!"

"Trust me, it's the truth. She kinda scares me."

I couldn't help but laugh, some lady scaring Sam was a pretty funny picture in my head. "So are Jerry and Noelle nice?"

"Noelle is, you'll love her. She will just pick on me. And Jerry is a sarcastic ass but he has been my best friend for a really long time so whatever he says don't really take it to heart."

"Okay?" I was a little uneasy about this whole thing and I didn't know why. They were just Sam's friends but the friends opinion could make or break you so...

"McNally there gonna love you, don't worry."

"But Sam..what if they hate me and they say all these awful things about me to you and...and..." I was in full on freak out mode and I had expected Sam to come back with this really heartfelt response but all I got was this..

"Then worry." I expected it to make me mad but it had the complete opposite affect. It almost relaxed me completely. And all of a sudden I wasn't so nervous anymore.

We finally arrived to the Penny and just before Sam was about to open the door he pulled me into him. "Hey, I love you..okay? That's all that matters."

I nodded my head, not really having the voice to speak. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before opening the door for me and leading the way. I had my fingers interlaced with his and I had no intention of ever letting go tonight. It was my safety net, that way I knew he was still there.

He lead me over to the table where I immediately recognized Oliver and two other people. I didn't know if it was Jerry or Frank but one of this was definitely missing. Which I was more than okay with, three friends was plenty enough. Sam pulled out my seat for me before grabbing the one right next to me and puling it up close so he could swing his arm around the back of my chair.

"So Andy, that's Noelle and that's Jerry. And you already know Oliver."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet all of y'all."

They were looking at me like I was prey or something. Almost like they were trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Luckily Noelle was the first to speak up. "Sammy..I have no idea how you managed to get someone like her." Then she turned to look at me, "How do you put up with him? I can barely deal with him on the job!"

I started laughing, I could tell that I was definitely going to like her. I put my hand on Sam's thigh and started scratching at the denim. "He has his moments."

Jerry was the next to speak, "So Andy you have any friends?"

"Uh..."

Thank god Oliver saved me on that one! "You are married brother."

"I'm separated, it's way different!"

Sam had his hand at the nape of my neck running his fingers through the hair there. Finally he spoke,"Yeah, I'll bet buddy. But you're not going to hook up with one of her friends."

"Why not?"

"They are way out of your league..." Sam had only seen a couple of my friends in passing. Sometimes I would go out to get coffee or something and they would drop me back off at Sam's.

Jerry laughed before responding, "Buddy...that girl right there is way out of your league and you got her and I am WAY better looking than you."

They were hilarious together. I can't believe that I had never met Jerry before. The way he and Sam acted around each other, well I could tell that they had known each other for a really long time. It was nice to know that Sam had such good friends to count on. "Uh-uh, I got the dimples." I squeezed Sam's thigh, letting him know just how much those dimples did work on me.

Noelle chuckled and started shaking her head, "Yeah those dimples are no match for any girl, are they Andy?"

"I don't know, I gotta say, I think Nathan has got him beat in that department." I couldn't help but poke fun at Sam, they were all doing it and it his face was hilarious. Sam squeezed my neck a little bit harder and then they all burst out laughing. I guess not many people made Sam Swarek a little speechless.

"I think you are going to fit in just fine." I was happy to have Noelle's approval and I think the other two went right along with it.

We chatted for a couple more hours. I couldn't believe time had gone by so fast. I had no idea why I was so nervous, Sam's friends were great. Frank never showed up, I guess his wife really was a little crazy.

"Hey McNally, we should probably get going. It's already 8:30."

"Oh crap, yeah we do. It was nice meeting all of y'all!"

Oliver stood up and gave me a hug. "Come back anytime Andy."

I got a wave goodbye from Noelle with a smile and as I was about to turn and walk away I heard Jerry say, "So you're really not going to introduce me to any of your friends?"

"Sorry Jerry, guess you will just have to wait and see."

Sam swung his arm around my shoulders he bid everyone goodbye and told them that he would see them all at work tomorrow.

I slid my arm in between Sam's jacket and back and squeezed his hip. We walked out just like that. He didn't say anything until we got to his truck and started driving away. "So what do you think?"

"They're great Sam really. And it was fun to give you a hard time and actually have people back me up on it."

"Oh I'm sure it was sweetheart."

I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers. He squeezed my hand as soon as I put our hands back down on the console "I love you."

"Love you too McNally."

We went and picked up Nathan and by the time we got back home he was passed out in the backseat. That was twice today that he had fallen asleep in the car! And he didn't wake up either time when we brought him inside. Sam came back downstairs after tucking Nathan in to find me already in bed.

He quickly discarded his clothes, leaving him only in a pair of boxers and climbed in behind me. It was only 9:30 but I was absolutely exhausted. All of my nerves today had definitely taken its tole on me today. He reached out to me and pulled me into his side and buried his face in my hair.

"Marry me."

Did I just hear him right? He did just say 'marry me' or was I completely losing my mind. I immediately turned in under his arm to face him. "Wha - What?"

"Marry me..."

"Sam.." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I knew I did. I knew from the first time I saw him holding that little boy but just ... I was completely speechless.

"I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. And the way you are with Nathan, you fit Andy. You are the piece we have been missing, with you everything seems whole. Like nothing else matters if I have you and him. So marry me."

I could feel the tears burning the back of my eyes, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "God Sam...yes...yes of course I'll marry you!" Then the tears began to fall but for the first time in my life they weren't sad tears or angry tears, they were happy.

Sam smiled one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen in my entire life before crashing his lips onto mine. Between every single kiss he would say, "I love you..I love you...I love you..."

I was happy. I never thought anyone could make me feel this way. Everything in my life was the way it should be and nothing was every going to change that.

_A/N: So this chapter was supposed to be out days ago but it just would NOT end! Sorry if it felt a little rushed at the end but I needed to get this out, I already have more than half of the next chapter written. And that will be the last chapter to this story. So be looking for that later today or tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for all of the support I have received during this story, I could not have done it with out all of you! _


	21. The One Four Years Later

Chapter 21: The One Four Years Later

_A/N: So here is the last chapter for this one guys and it also happens to be the first chapter for the sequel I plan on writing in a couple of months. I will probably start writing that in mid December so think of it as a Christmas present from me to you! (: This chapter takes place 4 years in the future, this is basically setting up the back story for the sequel. Hope you like it! And thank you SO much for all the encouragement and reviews I have received throughout this story. _

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rookie Blue (: **

It had been a little over 4 years since I started working for Sam and my life had completely changed in the best possible way. Nathan was five years old, oh sorry he was five years and EXACTLY 8 months old. Those months were definitely important to him.

Tomorrow was my first day as a rookie and god I was so nervous! Even though all of the training officers were Sam's best friends so over the years they had become mine. They had all told me as nicely as they possibly could that just because I was the wife that did not mean I would be getting special treatment. I actually expected it to be the complete and total opposite! They loved harassing me, especially Oliver and Jerry. But since I knew a dirty little secret about Jerry and my new best friend from the Academy, Traci, I think he wasn't going to be his usual self around me! For once he would actually behave himself. However, Oliver well that was a COMPLETELY different story.

I was in the bathroom getting ready to go when Sam turned the corner. "Hey babe you about ready? We're gonna be late."

"Is Izzy here yet?" The oldest of the Shaw daughters was coming over to watch Nathan because we would all be at The Black Penny. The good ole 'rookie hazing' ceremony. It was weird that I was actually going to have to participate this year, I had been going with Sam the last couple of years, sitting in the back just enjoying the experience with him right next to me.

"Yeah Oliver just dropped her off, he told me to tell you to be ready for tonight."

I turned to look at my husband with a little bit of an uneasy look on my face. He came and wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me clos to him. "You're going to be great McNally. Don't worry so much." So yes my husband of three years still called me by maiden name! So what! He told me the day I legally changed my name that he was just going to stick with McNally, even though legally I was now a Swarek.

After we got engaged and Sam did ask me again, more officially. Down on one knee with a ring this time but we knew it was what we both wanted so we didn't see why we should wait any longer. Our wedding was simple but amazing. Just our closest friends and family. It took some time for my dad to come around to me getting married at 19 to a guy that was a decade older than me but when he saw the way Sam treated me and they way my face lit up when he was around, he understood. I had found my soulmate and I didn't care if he was ten years older than me or a hundred, he was the one I was supposed to be with.

"I can't help it, I'm nervous!" I wasn't so nervous about tonight but tomorrow morning when I had to get up and start my new life as a copper of 15th division. I knew tonight whatever hazing ritual they came up with this year Sam would have my back but since we were married he couldn't be my training officer. For obvious reasons!

He turned me around in his arms so I was facing him. "Sweetheart you have nothing to be nervous about. I'm going to be right there, okay? And you've been to this thing before, it is just 10 minutes of hazing and then we all get drunk. It's going to be fun!"

I reached my arms up and interlocked them behind his neck. "Not about tonight dork, well not really...it's just tomorrow I'm actually going to be out there. What if I make a mistake?"

"You're supposed to make mistakes, it's a rookie thing to do. Trust me all of you are going to do something wrong, it's just part of the experience."

"But Sam.."

"You can't be perfect all the time sweetheart."

I laughed. Sam always told me I was a little overeager about some things. I just always had to get everything right. Luckily Sam had learned to deal with that in the four years we had known each other. "I can try though." I stood up on my tip toes and leaned into him. I tilted my chin up so he would know what I wanted and like always he did. He tightened his grip around my waist and gave me a kiss.

"Now hurry it up lady! Oliver will never forgive me if I get you there late."

"Awe how cute, I wouldn't want your boyfriend to be mad at you!" I loved teasing him about his 'bromance' with Oliver and Jerry. They truly were hilarious to be around. They had been best friends for so long that I realized that when I married Sam I not only got Nathan but also Oliver and Jerry.

"McNally..." He gave me that warning tone that he sometimes got with Nathan before he said something he shouldn't.

I turned away from the mirror and blew him a kiss. "Love you."

"Yeah, yeah." He turned and left the bathroom, leaving me to finish getting ready. I was pretty low - maintenance when it came to get ready for things and I had known all these people for years. So getting ready really just consisted of me drying my hair and putting on some mascara and I was ready. I turned off the light and walked out of our bedroom to find Izzy and Nathan already watching some show on the couch. They were quite the pair those two. "Hey Iz, you call me if you need anything okay?"

"Yeah Andy, I will."

"And buddy, you better be good for Izzy...got it?"

"Yep." He didn't even look at me when he said it, which made me think he wasn't really listening.

"Nathan..I'm serious."

Sam came walking into the living room. "I already had the talk with him. He said he would be good. You ready to go?"

"Yeah just let me get my purse." I went and found my purse about to walk out the door with Sam when I heard little footsteps running behind me.

"Mama...Mama!" I saw Nathan running towards me from the living room.

"Yeah baby?" I knelt down so that I was eye level with him.

He wrapped his little arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "Good luck tonight mama..you look realllyyyyy pretty!"

"Thanks baby, I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning."

"Okie doke." And yes he still said that! Most adorable five year old, my son. He turned and ran off towards the living room.

Sam looked at me and laughed before opening the door for me. "He's definitely your son."

"Hey you taught him just as much as me! He is already using those dimples to get what he wants, that is so your fault!"

"Yeah and he tricks me to get what he wants, just like you do ALL the time McNally."

"Maybe he just figured out what works on us...we're in big trouble Swarek."

"That we are sweetheart. Now come on lets get you to the Penny."

I interlaced our fingers on the console and he would squeeze my hand every now and then, knowing that it usually calmed my nerves. We pulled up to the Penny and my stomach immediately did a flip flop. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I was trying not to be but I guess I didn't want everyone to think that I was getting special treatment because I was married to one of the T.O's?

Sam squeezed my hand again and I turned to look at him. "You ready for this?"

I tried to give my most enthusiastic smile. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Well lets get to it then sweetheart." He came and opened my door, offering his hand as I jumped out of his truck. We were walking in when he swung his arm around my shoulders and gave me a reassuring kiss against my temple.

As soon as we walked through the door I was dragged away from Sam by Oliver. He gave me his big dimpled smile as Oliver pulled me away and mouthed 'love you'. I saw him walk over to his usual table where Jerry was already sitting.

Oliver took me over to the bar and placed me in a line with the rest of the rookies. The next thing I know handcuffs were being put on me. Leave it to Oliver to come up with something brand new for my year.

There was A LOT of shouting and there were so many people crowded around the five of us. I turned my head trying to find Sam and as soon as I made eye contact he winked at me like 'you got this'. Some officer that I had never seen before shoved me down onto the bar.

Next thing I know Oliver was shouting our names. "Chris Diaz, Traci Nash, Gail Peck, Dov Epstein and Andy Swarek. You have the right to remain calm and you have the right to get out of these handcuffs any way you know how. First rookie out of his handcuffs drinks for free, rest of you pay. On your mark, get ready and GO!"

I stood up and immediately walked over to Sam. Everyone was frantically trying to get out of their handcuffs and Oliver did say anyway you know how...so? Sam smiled and started laughing as soon as he saw me running over to him.

"Sweetheart, you know I can't help you with this. It's not fair."

I leaned into his ear so only he could hear though. Even though it was insanely loud in here and whispered, "Help me and I'll make it worth your while later...promise. Anything you want..."

He tightened his grip on my arm, "Anything?"

I nodded my head and dug my teeth into my bottom lip because I knew it drove him crazy. He spun me around and started working on the cuffs. Jerry leaned over to us, "What's going on here Sammy?"

Just as soon as Jerry asked though I felt the handcuffs come undone and saw Sam hold up his hands like 'nothing to see here'. Then I threw my hands up in the air and started screaming to show everyone that I was out of mine. Oliver saw me standing right next to Sam and shook his head but laughed at the same time. He obviously knew what I had done to get out of my cuffs.

I felt Sam slide his fingers into my belt loop and pulled me over to him in between his knees. "You better live up to that promise McNally."

"Oh trust me, you won't be disappointed." I might have rubbed my hand up his thigh a little to high because he let out a choked breath before pushing me away.

"Go be with the rookies...rookie."

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Yes sir." Then I turned and walked away to join the other four rookies that were in the same division with me.

They really were great friends. Traci was absolutely amazing! She had a kid Nathan's age so we instantly bonded. Dov and Chris were the funniest people I had ever met. I already considered them brothers. Now Gail Peck was a different story. She definitely felt like she was better than all of us and she was just biding her time to be in a white shirt like the rest of her family. But even if she was a little bitchy, she was still one of us and because of that I tried to be nice to her.

It felt weird sitting at the Rookie table instead of sitting with Sam. Over the last few years we would come here probably once a week. I felt completely comfortable with Izzy watching Nathan, for such a young age she was incredibly responsible. She reminded me a lot of myself. I knew Sam missed his friends so this was a good compromise. But now sitting over here away from him, it just felt weird. I loved my friends, I did...but it didn't even come close to the way I was with Sam. He was my home. Even after all this time I still felt like something was missing when he wasn't around.

Once again it was like he could read my mind because next thing I know I see him and Jerry making there way towards us. Traci immediately brightened next to me and then remembered that they were a secret and quickly downplayed it. It reminded me a lot of when Sam and I first started dating.

When they finally made it over to our table Sam went straight to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I immediately leaned back into him feeling completely safe. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my neck. "Having fun?"

I nodded my head while muttering, "mm-hmm."

"Told you."

I squeezed his arm playfully and he interlaced our fingers that were resting in my lap. Sam didn't really know any of the other rookies except for Traci. I had gone out with all of them a couple of times and Sam would stay home with Nathan. I think he didn't want to get too close to them so when the time came he could be a Training Officer to whoever he was assigned.

Jerry and Traci were making 'googly' eyes at each other until he finally spoke up. "So you rooks ready for tomorrow?"

Dov immediately perked up, "Yes sir, ready to get out there!" He had a little bit too much enthusiasm and I heard Sam let a scoff in my ear. I squeezed his hand silently telling him to behave.

Chris was the next to speak, "Ready to get out there and catch those bad guys, get them off the street."

Gail let out an annoyed chuckle before she turned to leave.

I heard Dov whisper "Ice queen" after her and I couldn't help but laugh. I really did try to like Gail but sometimes she made it a little bit difficult. I was rubbing up and down Sam's forearm mindlessly, a habit that I had picked up over the years. I saw Dov out of the corner of my eye with a weird look on his face, like he wanted to say something but he was almost too scared to?

Finally he spoke up. "Uh...Officer Swarek?" Did he really just refer to my husband that way? We weren't even at work, it was so funny hearing one of my friends call my husband 'Officer Swarek'. I never thought of Sam as intimidating, he was just _Sam _but apparently Dov saw things differently.

I felt him lift his head off my shoulder and turn to look at him. Then he not so nicely barked, "What?" I squeezed his hand again but instead of turning nicer he just squeezed back harder. I rolled my eyes. He wanted them to be scared of him! When really he wasn't scary at all, it was pretty funny to watch though.

Dov seriously looked like a deer in the headlights. I tried not to laugh at his expression regarding my husband. "Do you know who are training officers are going to be?"

Sam let out his sarcastic laugh before saying, "Do you think I'm going to tell you if I do?"

I tried desperately to ignore their conversation and turn my attention to Traci but as soon as I turned my head Sam started rubbing circles on the back of my hand. I guess he was trying to tell me that he had to act this way and was trying to keep me from getting mad at him. We hadn't really had the conversation of how we were going to act around each other at work so I felt like it wasn't my place to say anything. But seriously Dov's face was priceless! All he said was, "Uh...I guess not...sir?" And then immediately turned away and walked back up to the bar.

I turned my head towards Sam, "You know it wouldn't kill you to be a little nice to my friends!"

He gave me a quick kiss on my lips. "Oh it really would sweetheart."

"Sam!"

"Andy they're rookies, I have to be mean to them. It's my job and it's fun."

"I'm a rookie and you aren't mean to me..."

He shook his head at me. Almost like he couldn't believe I had actually just said that. "Do you want me to be mean to you?"

I quickly shook my head, I had seen Sam mad and I would rather not relive those days!

"Now I seem to remember a certain promise you made to me..think we could get out of here and fulfill that promise?"

"Sure you can handle me _Sir_?"

He leaned forward and before kissing me whispered, "Yeah I'm pretty sure of that one sweetheart." And then he kissed me in the middle of the Penny with all of our co-workers around, it made my heart flutter.

Before we could get too carried away, which lets face it we usually did. Oliver came up and grabbed Sam's shoulder and pulled him away. "No fraternizing with the Rookies Sammy boy."

I didn't let go of Sam's hand not wanting him to get too far. Sam turned to Oliver and started laughing. "Ollie..she was my wife long before she was a rookie!"

"Yeah but Sammy what are people going to think if they see you making out with one of the rookies?"

I looked at Oliver and smiled, "That I'm his wife?"

"You two are just too much for me!" Oliver hit Sam on the head and turned and walked away.

I pulled Sam back between my legs, I didn't care what people thought. He was my husband and just because I was a rookie didn't mean that changed things. "Do you wanna get out of here?"

"Definitely!" Sam immediately pulled me off the bar stool, I said a quick goodbye to Chris and Traci. Dov had never come back after Sam basically yelled at him!

Sam dragged me over to Oliver to ask him when he was going to come get Izzy. Which thankfully he answered, "I'm leaving now too." Not that I didn't love Izzy but I kinda just wanted some one on one time with Sam. Nathan would HOPEFULLY be asleep by the time we got home.

We walked out to the truck hand in hand. I loved how much affection Sam showed me in front of everyone. It took a while for him to be so open with me but once he started he only got better and better.

When we were in the truck he immediately grabbed my hand and rested it on the console. People probably thought we were crazy but we were basically always holding hands. "So you still nervous about tomorrow?"

I turned to look at him, I loved watching him drive. "Not as much as I was. Do you know who I'm assigned to?"

He laughed before saying, "You got Ollie.."

"Seriously! He's going to be giving me a hard time the ENTIRE day Sam!"

"No he won't, just make sure to buy him lunch tomorrow. You already know what he likes so it shouldn't be too hard. And I know he will have your back no matter what so it makes me feel a little bit better about you being out there." I knew Sam was a little uneasy when I told him I wanted to go to the academy. He didn't want anything to happen to me and I understood that but at the same time he knew it was something I needed to do. I wanted to make the McNally name good again, even if I was doing it as a Swarek.

"So who did you get?"

He gave me a look and rolled his eyes before he turned his eyes back onto the road. I heard him softly mutter, "Epstein."

I couldn't contain my laugh! "Sam, you have to be somewhat nice to him! I think he is already scared of you."

"McNally..."

"Babe come on, I'm just saying don't act like you want to kill him. Please for me?" I gave him my cutest smile, the one that pretty much made him agree to whatever I was saying.

"Fine but he better not be running around like a chicken with his head cut off or I swear..."

"You're so cute when your in TO mode."

He turned and gave me one of his dimpled smiles. "What do you mean? I'm cute all the time!"

"Oh of course you are baby!" I let out a laugh. I couldn't believe that Sam got Dov as a rookie! That just made my life SO much better.

We had just walked through the door to our house when Oliver pulled up in our driveway. And okay it's possible that we got a little carried away in the truck so we might have been in there for a couple of extra minutes, but hey! It was just kissing. We have a five year old who is always running into our room at all times of the night, it can make things a little difficult. I don't know how we have never been caught before.

"Iz, we're home and your dad is in the driveway waiting for you."

I walked into the living room to find the TV on a low volume and the rest of the house dark. "Oh okay, thanks Andy."

"He didn't give you any trouble did he?" Sam asked.

"Nope, after I promised him that y'all would wake him up when you got home he went right to sleep. Sorry about that he was insisting on staying up until you got home." Izzy looked a little guilty, almost like we were going to be mad for some reason.

"No, you're fine. He goes a little crazy at bedtime. I used to have to do the same thing for when Sam was going to be home late." I smiled at Izzy and rubbed her shoulder, letting her know that she did a great job with Nathan. I was so happy that we had found someone that we both felt comfortable and it was even better that it happened to be Oliver's daughter.

"Well I should get going, you know how my dad gets."

I walked her to the front door while Sam went and got changed throwing a "thanks Iz." over his shoulder as he went.

"Hey Andy?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"I'm really happy you married Uncle Sammy. You're much better than the last one."

I couldn't help but smile, we never really talked about Laura since that first time. It was in Sam's past and he had assured me that she would never give us any problems. "Thanks Izzy. That means a lot. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Andy." She walked out the door and to Oliver's car.

I waved to Oliver when he rolled down his window and then went back into the house. I tip toed up the stairs to find Sam standing outside his doorway. He turned to me and pulled me into his side. "So how much do you think he is going to hate us in the morning if we don't wake him up?"

I laughed, Sam hated waking up Nathan when he was already asleep. Trust me I did too, he was getting harder and harder to get down at night! He was full of energy all the time, even at 10:00 at night. The fact that it was now 11:00 made me not want to wake him up at all! I just wanted to go get in bed and curl up next to Sam. "I bet he doesn't even remember. He's like you in that way."

Sam pinched my hip. "Ha ha..you're just the comedian tonight aren't you?"

"Always, I am pretty funny, you know?" I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed him.

"Can we go to bed now?"

"Yeah grandpa, lets go...but if our son throws a fit in the morning I'm blaming you."

He shook his head at me while pulling me away from Nathan's bedroom. "I'm counting on it McNally."

I went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. I already had all my stuff ready for tomorrow morning. Even though I had seen Sam throwing stuff in a bag five minutes before he left in the morning, I personally liked to be more prepared. Which Sam did like to poke fun at me but oh well, he was used to all my quirky ways.

I heard Sam get into bed in our room and flip the light off. "Babe come on, you're taking forever."

I knew that I should probably just throw on one of his shirts and go to sleep. I did have an early day tomorrow and I needed to be rested for it...but I did just buy this sexy navy blue lingerie. And I really...like really wanted to wear it for him. I had been hiding it under some older sweaters so that he would have no idea that I have bought it and I had promised him earlier tonight that I would make it worth his while...so...

Deciding that 'you only live once' and I was used to only getting a couple of hours asleep, I put it on. I was just about to open the door when I heard Sam yell again. "Sweetheart seriously, what's taking you so long?"

I opened the door to the bathroom and leaned against the doorway. "Something you needed Swarek?" I jutted my hip out and immediately I saw his jaw drop in the shadows.

"McNally...get over here RIGHT NOW!" I smiled and crawled on top of him. He threw the sheet of off him so I was straddling just him.

"Yes?"

He settled me against his lap, hands grasping my waist and pulled me down to meet his lips. "God, you're so beautiful..."

So yeah after four years and three being actually married to him my blushing had not stopped. Everything he said made me feel so good and loved that I couldn't help it. He moved up and down my neck, sucking on my pulse point until he rolled us so he was on top.

I loved the crazy, kinky sex that we had from time to time ever since we got married but I also just loved this. Him on top of me pushing me down into the mattress. I felt him reaching around to undo the clasp on my bra when I heard our door creep open and heard a soft "Mama?".

Sam flew off of me and threw his shirt in my face, obviously telling me to hurry the fuck up and put it on. Luckily it was pitch black in our room, so I prayed our little man didn't see anything. BUT we definitely needed to start locking the damn door! Sam threw the comforter over us after I had put his shirt on and I felt Nathan start climbing onto the bed. "Baby, what's going on?"

I heard him sniffling as he came and settled himself next to me. As bad as it sounds it had become somewhat normal for Nathan to climb into our bed at night. Usually when he did I was already spooned into Sam's side so he just came and climbed in next to me. "I thought you forgot about me." Nathan's nightmares had almost completely gone away after a couple of years. But every now and then he still had that fear that one of us wouldn't be here in the morning.

Sam raised his head to look over me to see Nathan. "You were sleeping buddy, we didn't want to wake you up."

"But - But..why not?"

Sam had his arm across my waist under the covers and he started a slow hand going up and down my ribs. I took that as my encouragement to speak. "You are a big boy now baby and you went to sleep all by yourself. We were going to wake you up in the morning, you need your sleep."

He turned towards me and buried his head in my neck, he still held on tight to my shirt; even if he was a little bit bigger now. "Can I sleep in here with you?"

Sam usually never allowed this when he was awake, I was the weak one that always pulled Nathan into me at night. I felt Sam grab my waist a little more forcefully than I was used to. This was not the way that I wanted our night to go but I couldn't just tell my baby to go back upstairs when he was upset. And I really did sleep better when they were both with me, as pathetic as that sounds it was true. I took Sam's hand that was grasping my hip and pulled it around me interlacing our fingers. "Sure baby, just for tonight though okay?"

"Okay mama.." Nathan snuggled more into my side and was out like a light, probably never even fully waking up.

Sam squeezed my hand, "We are finishing this tomorrow night sweetheart..."

"I was counting on it babe." I turned my head to give him a quick kiss and then he buried his face in my hair. They were definitely father and son.

So here I was sandwiched in between my two favorite boys. Wearing very sexy lingerie, completely content to just lay here. I tightened my hold on both of them and fell into a deep sleep. Ready to start the first day of the rest of my life _tomorrow_.

_-The End. (For now at least)_


End file.
